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Discussion Starter · #1 ·
I have done a LOT of learning this past few years...., many humbling experiences.... still a little confused though.....

I have spent the majority of my life trying to 'take over the world'...measuring my own success by my position in life...business/career and what I can do for/give to/provide for the people I love..trying to be the best I can be. But recently...things/my views have changed...kinda...still struggling through the transition.

I am finally starting to realize a new level of success in these slow times that has been staring me in the face all these years but I could not/did not have the time to see....HOME, the people that love me, being there for/with them...realizing the most important thing I can give them is me.

I do not have my head in the clouds though...as much as I would love to live on love it does not pay the bills...so what the ...k am I going to do now? I spent 15 years in my career that took me everywhere but home and then the past 2 as Owner/Operator trying to stay at home (my dream)...but it's just not working, the work is not here... So now what? Back on the road? A career change? Change to what? I spent 17 years becoming one of the best in my line of work. :wallbash:

....I started young though so therefore lucky for me I am still young hitting this point in my life (33)

A lot of people are believing in me/depending on me and if I fail...well I just can't.....

I am lacking in sleep...really bad, a lot weighing on my mind...on the line. I'm sure I'm talking to much but I'm also sure I'm not alone in this struggle within.

....to be continued if there is enough interest, I'm done putting myself out there for now...feel free to add to the story...

I am going to go and TRY to sleep now. Looking over at Tina resting peacefully, gotta go snuggle her :) For those that know me (been on CT a while now even though I don't post often) Things have really changed since my last post http://www.contractortalk.com/f11/y...t-you-really-married-58374/index2/#post676467
 

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Brian One Day at a Time:thumbsup: Don't sweat the small stuff, you'll come out of this we all will just keep your chin up Good Luck. I'm in Michigan and we have seen this Merry Go Round four times here where I live, just this time people are lossing a lot. things will pick back up, :thumbsup:



www.frankawitz.net
 

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General Contractor
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I will be frank with you my Friend. That sounded like a last prayer from a man who is about go off the reservation. F^*ck that :censored:

You a young guy, you have a beautiful wife and you both seem happy. You cannot give up on yourself, if you hit a bump, you get up and keep going. Don't cry, don't whine, don't tell sad stories. Get up and go, face the challenges and be a man. Because if you give up, your wife will give up, then its all over for you and then you gonna be all alone like the rest of the guys who feel sorry for them self's. Things are bad everywhere today, the economy sucks, but it will pass, just do what you have to do to survive in the mean time and don't stop, keep going :thumbsup:

Good luck to you Bro, keep your head up :thumbup:
 

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Discussion Starter · #8 ·
Through these tough times I have not got depressed or felt sorry for myself and I keep smiling. I have not lost site of the fact that no matter how bad it gets I still have a really great life.

I'm just not exactly sure what my next move is going to be yet and it is weighing on my mind heavy. I always have the option to go back to work in camp...but I spent 15 years living that life and I just don't want it anymore. I have a sence of home like I have never really had before and I don't want to leave it. I could say I am only going to go until I catch up on everything but it never works out that way. That's how I ended up divorced with three kids I barely know. Never planned to live my life in camp the very first time I went there. Now I have a wonderful woman that loves me and a great step daughter, I don't want to make that mistake again. So I have to figure out how I can make my living right here at home...don't have to be rich, just want to pay my bills.

There has been fleeting moments were I have felt like a failure because I have not made this business a great success yet. But then I put it into perspective for myself and I am anything but a failure. I started with less than nothing. I had a mountain of debt from my first marriage and everything I owned fit in a suitcase. I managed to pay off my debt, get that machine, bring it here to Nanaimo and make a go of it for this long in a place were I was a complete unknown. I was brand new here, didn't know anyone. Machine was new to most everyone too, next to no one ever heard of it and most were quite skeptical. They are not skeptical anymore, I have built up a good reputation for both myself and the machine here. But if there is no work to do it makes no difference how I try to make it work it is not going to and I did not fail because of it.

Thanks for the encouraging words guys! If this business doesn't work I won't give up. I will find something else to focus on and make it work.
 

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Success is getting out of life what YOU want. To some it is riches. To others it's security. To way too many it's just getting food or not killed/maimed.

Life's tough for me right now. Proposals are non-existant, still have a kid in Ivy League college, watching the IRA's go down the tubes. BUT I'm still working, paying the bills and have some business offers to back me if things run out. You have to have a fallback position today.

I consider myself a success, you are too! Look to the exsisting programs for furthering education and Obama is introducing more almost everyday. Expand yourself! I've done it since I learned how to (around 10 yrs. old).
 

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Every day you get out of bed and make a plan you are a success.


We are all marching toward our last breath someday. You really think that a pile of money or a billion employees defines success?

You loving your wife / kids? and being a positive and honest pillar in your community is all it takes to be a winner in life. We all chase our own delusion of what success means to each of us. I have noticed, thankfully, that my 5 year old boy...absolutely wants all my spare time. Ya know what...he gets it.

If I were to totally become a work-o-holic (which would be easy for me to do) and ignore him at this age...it would literally kill me to see that part of me in him when he has "no time for me" later in life. Cue the cat's in the cradle song.

You have discovered what is truly important...your family. Now the hard part is finding a way to provide for them in a balanced way. When you figure that out...let me know. I've found 5 hours a night of sleep will buy you some extra time in the day...................but then I get on this d$%^&m site and blow 3 hours straight.
 

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I have noticed, thankfully, that my 5 year old boy...absolutely wants all my spare time. Ya know what...he gets it.

If I were to totally become a work-o-holic (which would be easy for me to do) and ignore him at this age...it would literally kill me to see that part of me in him when he has "no time for me" later in life. Cue the cat's in the cradle song.

You have discovered what is truly important...your family. Now the hard part is finding a way to provide for them in a balanced way. When you figure that out...let me know. I've found 5 hours a night of sleep will buy you some extra time in the day...................but then I get on this d$%^&m site and blow 3 hours straight.
Amen. Been there, went the workaholic route when my first daughter was real young and missed almost everything. I'm still making it up to her (She just turned 13). I refuse to make the same mistake with my second, she's now almost 4 and I've spent 4 times as much time with and it shows. My oldest son, (just graduated HS Wednesday) that would take a whole new thread!:censored:
 

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Don't rely on other people to make you happy. My wife was the world to me, then she left. You have to look at everyone in your life like they could walk out on you. The less emotional connections you make the better. I'll never let myself fall in love with a woman again. If I meet a woman that's great. I'll treat her nice, try to make her happy, but I won't love her. That kind of rejection sucks. The lesson I learned from my divorce was that no one will care about you as much as yourself. Look out for #1 in all things. Tina could meet someone new, or just become bored with you. You might come home tomorrow and find she's moved out and left you a note. It sucks, but that's reality. The only certain things in life are ones you have absolute control over, and you can't control other people.

As far as how I define success. Money in the bank, happy customers, roof over my head, doing what I like to do.
 

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Nice advise Bob, if this guy didn't lost it yet, he will lose it now for sure reading that :no:

There is nothing wrong with loving someone and the person you're with, you have to trust. Strong relationship takes allot of work and compromises, but we have to be strong and run the household same way we run our business, know when to allow some tolerances but know when is time to step up and get tough, cannot be blind in the relationship.

I just had this conversation with a few old timers over lunch. Talking about divorce and all this other good stuff. I think by the time we get older and by the time we get married it is never about love, it is more about trust, it about respect and we get married not because we're in-love, but because we love and respect our women, because we see them as someone we can spend the rest of our life with, we see in them someone being a mother to our children and so forth. A women who treats us with respect and carries herself graceful in public. It is not how you look at each other, its about looking in the same direction.

Having a girlfriend on the side, that is when you should be in-love, and don't care what she does, because in love you do stupid things :laughing:

You had a bitter divorce, but you had to see it coming. This s^*t don't happen over night and it takes two to tango. Maybe you saw it coming and was naive and didn't do anything or said something, I don't know, but you do. I know a few it happened too, I knew it was going to happen sooner or later, the wife was all over the place and they did not do anything about it or said anything about it, they let everything to be ok, and one day she said this is "Jerry" CYA. It happens everyday.

Said that, you have to move on, you find a new women who will treat you better and with respect, who you trust again, only this time you do things differently because you already learned your lesson in life and if you didn't it will happen again. That goes for everything else... Old saying goes "how you make your bed, is how you will sleep in it" :thumbsup:

Good luck


You have to look at everyone in your life like they could walk out on you. The less emotional connections you make the better. I'll never let myself fall in love with a woman again. If I meet a woman that's great. I'll treat her nice, try to make her happy, but I won't love her. That kind of rejection sucks. The lesson I learned from my divorce was that no one will care about you as much as yourself. Look out for #1 in all things. Tina could meet someone new, or just become bored with you. You might come home tomorrow and find she's moved out and left you a note. It sucks, but that's reality. The only certain things in life are ones you have absolute control over, and you can't control other people.
 

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Yeah, I did drive her away a little. I was working a lot and didn't spend the time with her I should have.

Divorce is too easy. When you get married and say "Til death do us part" that should be literal.

If you don't like your spouse anymore you go to court and the judge puts the two of you in a cage to duke it out. Fight to the death, winner takes all. I realize men are stronger, so maybe we could give the ladies a baseball bat to even things out? That'd be some Court TV I'd watch. Bet the divorce rate would go down and people would be more careful in chosing their spouse.

One day when I'm in charge that's the first thing I'm gonna do. Celebrity divorces will be on Pay-Per-View.
 

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Having suffered the loss of my 49 year old sister about 2 years ago, i can tell you that if you and your family are healthy, you got it all. My sister would have given anything to be struggling through these challenging economic times. G
 

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Don't rely on other people to make you happy. My wife was the world to me, then she left. You have to look at everyone in your life like they could walk out on you. The less emotional connections you make the better. I'll never let myself fall in love with a woman again. If I meet a woman that's great. I'll treat her nice, try to make her happy, but I won't love her. That kind of rejection sucks. The lesson I learned from my divorce was that no one will care about you as much as yourself. Look out for #1 in all things. Tina could meet someone new, or just become bored with you. You might come home tomorrow and find she's moved out and left you a note. It sucks, but that's reality. The only certain things in life are ones you have absolute control over, and you can't control other people.

As far as how I define success. Money in the bank, happy customers, roof over my head, doing what I like to do.
Damn Bob, kind of rough for the OP but, I know what you mean!!
 

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Right now I have no job and I'm collecting unemployment since January. Sure i just got my electrical license but there is no guarantee that'll be successful but that's stopping me from going for it. Just by reading two of your posts here in this thread has me convinced you are a fighter with a positive attitude and that's what's going to get you through this rough patch. Just remember there's always somebody out there that has it even tougher than you.

Good luck to you.
 

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....As far as how I define success. Money in the bank, happy customers, roof over my head, doing what I like to do.
Hey Bob, I thought success was a day without getting sucker punched...yardboy:laughing:

Just Kidding!!!!

You sound like your wounds are pretty fresh...time will make it better..BTDT.


Mag, I like the sig....You got another thing comin'
 
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