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war stories

2418 Views 15 Replies 12 Participants Last post by  Sir Mixalot
It’s 6am on Monday and the delightful peal of the Nokia ring tone, makes me cringe as to the reason for it, “ what friggin now” I think. I grit my teeth…
“Yo brooksy, listen, I ain’t coming in today, my kid got bit by the ****in dog and I was at the hospital till 3”
I ask, “who‘s this“?
It’s Jimmy!
I plead, “can’t your old lady take care of him“?
Jimmy retorts, “she gotta go get her hair done in Havertown“.

Now at this point I want to scream because I have jimmy scheduled to go to Bryn Mawr to meet the cabinet delivery and all the other guys MUST,MUST,MUST be where they are going…. ,

Beeeeep, it’s the other line , %$##$^^&$##@@@@!!!! I look at the caller id, it’s Steve, I tell Jimmy to hold on a sec.
I half jokingly scream WHAT!!!! into the phone.
Steve mumbles, “something’s wrong with my truck, it won’t start and I can’t use the old ladies car, she’s gotta lunch thing“.
”hold on” I grumble
Back to Jimmy, I lightly growl, “yo Jimmy what the hell, I told you on Friday I needed you to meet the cabinets in bryn mawr”
Jimmy unflinchingly , “what can I do, I gotta watch the kid”
Steve, holding for 10 seconds, hangs up.
( expletive deleted) I’ll call you back, I yell.

I redial Steve; no answer; I try again, no answer, ten more times, no answer. @#$%$%%####$%$%^%$###$%[email protected]@!!! I take a deep breath.

I have to cover for jimmy now, and I have no idea what Steve is doing; doloolooloo dooloolooloo dooloolooloo,-It’s Steve.
“ Sorry dude my phone was upstairs getting charged“ he explains, “wait a second it’s jimmy” he blurts.

STE….!!! I scream.
I wait.
Then I wait some more
I continue to wait
The waiting starts to be painful;------ my head begins to throb;----- my pulse is increasing; I think I may die……………… and ……………… Steve hangs up on me.

I can’t scream at these guys because if I even raise my tone a little bit, they’ll just say, “%$#@ you” I have worked with these guys for most of our working lives and I need to understand that , **** happens.

One of my guys is a former union tile installer; unfortunately he hates Mondays. Sometimes he’ll work 10 Mondays in a row, but when I have an extremely important job to do, scheduled for a Monday, he will, for some bizarre reason be nowhere to be found.
Now of course, this happens to be one of those Mondays. I start calling him at 7, no answer, I try at 7:30, still no answer, I leave a message; 8:00, still no answer.

I beat my cat mercilessly. ; )

I start calling every 5 minutes, letting it ring until the answering machine comes on and hanging up. I may as well be trying telepathy, it would probably get better results.

Now I still need to cover the cabinets at 10:00; I have to call the client with the tile job and make up some inane excuse as to why their bathroom that I promised will be tiled today, won’t.

I have two appointments at 10 and 11:30, of course they are miles from the cabinet delivery.

Again the nokia rears its’ ugly head; It’s the cabinet company, “ Robert”?
“Yes“, I reply.
“ We are down two trucks today, and we won’t be able to make the delivery” they inform me.
I wonder to myself if the dispatcher can hear me crying, I bite my tongue and ask “so I can pick them up, right“? I beg.
“sure” they gleefully reply.

Oh God, please in the name of all that is holy, I beg of You, send an asteroid to destroy the earth and all its inhabitants; I look up to the sky, no such luck!

God I love this business….
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easy.....easy....step back.....from....the phone
just enjoying a typical monday

I wrote that a week ago and saved it, I figured it would help to lighten the end of the week mood. peace.
That is one of the best posts I have ever read here. Welcome and I see you'll have a lot to share with us.:thumbsup:
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That is one of the best posts I have ever read here. Welcome and I see you'll have a lot to share with us.:thumbsup:

Yes, true, but can he ask intelligent pricing questions? :laughing: :whistling :shutup:
Finally someone who understads my life. G:thumbsup:
Finally someone who understads my life. G:thumbsup:
It's nice to see that others experience the 'finer' times of life too.
This one's on the list for best post of '09.
You will never need to ask why I got rid of all of my guys. My son can't hang up on me......I let him deal with the laborers we use now. I feel lots better....and quit smoking also.

Thanks for the positive feedback. I posted this last monday on craigslist rants and raves, it went over like a lead ballon. I had never posted on a contractors only site, but I figured you fellow contractors would get a kick out of it. You have to admit our days are filled with angst sometimes but hey, that's why we make the big bucks:laughing:

If you want to be a millionaire contractor start off with two million!
Remind me to share the funny cell phone story....
Yes, true, but can he ask intelligent pricing questions? :laughing: :whistling :shutup:
Doesn't strike me as the type of guy who has to.:laughing:

Welcome Punchlist...Great short story
Amusing post, but you really need to get a handle on your employees.

Who runs the business, You or Them?

Welcome to the site and stick around. I appreciate anyone who copy/pastes lengthy diatribes from a Word document to really articulate a point.

Welcome punchlist. Just remember "If it was easy everybody would be doing it!" :w00t:
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