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DPDT, Momentarily on
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718 Posts
Discussion Starter · #1 ·
xj ad.JPG
:laughing::thumbup::clap:
Complete text of ad:

1997 Jeep Cherokee (XJ)
220K Miles
4.0 L in-line 6
4WD
AUTOMATIC Transmission
Bright Red
Straight Stock
Crank Windows, no cruise, no tilt, no delay wiper, no nonsense
POWER MIRRORS! Woo Hoo!

$1750

Here's the deal, kids:
This is a Jeep Cherokee. This is not a luxury SUV, or a maintenance-free disposable import. It has solid front axles, wind noise, and character.
It's a Jeep. It rides like a Jeep. It drives like a Jeep. All of these are GOOD things.
It is not new, it is not pristine, it is used. This will be apparent in the pictures.


If you do not own a toolbox, have never changed your own oil, and are scared of firearms: THIS VEHICLE IS NOT FOR YOU.
If you have been posting on facebook all about how excited you are for pumpkin latte season: THIS VEHICLE IS NOT FOR YOU.
If you get offended easy and often, whine to your co-workers, and ***** a lot: THIS VEHICLE IS NOT FOR YOU.
If you feel you are owed anything in the world & have a bull**** job where you fail to produce: THIS VEHICLE IS NOT FOR YOU.
If you own a bieber album, white oakleys, affliction t-shirts, or those candy-assed stitched-pocket jeans: THIS VEHICLE IS NOT FOR YOU.
If you consider the 2nd Amendment an anachronistic relic and have never owned a firearm: THIS VEHICLE IS NOT FOR YOU.


If, however, you have BALLS OF STEEL and consider adverse weather an excuse to do stupid ****: THIS IS YOUR JEEP.
Do you laugh at danger, and tempt fate?
Have you ever uttered the words, "Hold my beer and watch this ..."?
While bored at work do you pick targets at random and think, "I could hit that from here with the .22 ..."?
Have any of your friends quit hanging out because you were too much fun?
Do you have the number of a friend with cash memorized for bail?
When you pass an abandoned flatbed farm truck along a fenceline do you consider taking on another project?
Is your ol' lady really sick of the random piles of parts, greasy footprints, and empty beer bottles in the garage?
-could you not care less?
Do you have Jalopnik saved on your laptop AND smartphone?
Do you own a service manual for every vehicle you ever owned?
Do you still miss your first ride?
Can you carry on a two hour conversation discussing tools, scars, and hi-lift jacks?
Remember when tool companies had the balls to put half-naked beauty queens on their calendars?
Do you consider the Prius an abominable affront to the Gods of displacement, torque, and All Mighty Internal Combustion?


If you answered in the affirmative to the preceding: THIS IS YOUR JEEP.

DETAILS:
-I am the second owner. First owner barely got it dirty and engaged the front axles once.
-I have remedied this excessive caretaking with muddy roads and a pile of fun.
-The motor uses a little oil. How much? I don't know, I'm not collecting statistical analysis points.
I check the oil, I fill the oil, I drive. Not enough to bother me.
-It leaks a little oil. How much? Not enough for me to care. It has 220,000 miles, Poindexter!
If you have a vehicle with 220K NOT leaking or burning oil, it's empty!
-Rear bumper has a big-ass crease in it. I dented it backing into a concrete pole. Sober.
We drove away giggling, for the record. Haven't fixed it.
-Driver's side door was caught by the wind, whipped forward, got into the LF quarter panel.
-Radiator has a small leak. Pinhole. I can replace the radiator or you can. Really doesn't matter
A new radiator and hoses will run $145. If you don't want to replace them I will.
Add $250 to the price of vehicle. This includes radiator, hoses, and labor (beer). A freaking bargain.
-The badass little 4.0L bullet-proof in-line six starts and runs like the proverbial champ.
-Tranny and 4WD operate perfectly
-Tires will need replaced in a couple thousand miles. I haven't upgraded because I had plans:
Had planned a small lift, upgrade to 17" Wrangler wheels, and more aggressive tires.
Life got in the way - it ain't happening.
-Zombie stickers on the right rear window stay. My daughter's idea, take it up with her.
-Flogging Molly sticker stays as well. They kick ass, so there.

QUESTIONS:
-Why are you selling?
I can't justify owning it anymore. Motorsickles, kiddos, work, travel, and beer have consumed my time and money.
Someone else needs to appreciate the Jeep for what it is: awesome mechanical artistry.

-What's wrong with it?
Radiator. Small oil leaks. Driver's side door cosmetic issues.
And it's pissed it has been neglected and parked. It needs rescued.

-Does the 4WD work?
Hell yes. Like a Dickensian Orphan.

-Will you sell me the [engine / tranny / rear door / axle / etc.]?
No. I'm not in the salvage business. Buy the Jeep. Love the Jeep. Give the Jeep a home.

-Will you take [insert ridiculously stupid low number here]?
No. If I wanted [ridiculously low number] I would have asked [ridiculously low number]
Want a cheap car? Get your kid that lowered tuner piece of **** honda project down the road.
I think I'm plenty cheap for this bad mofo.

-Why is it still stock?
Because I bought it for a daily driver with the intention of turning it into a project.
I haven't had the time to do so. So I am selling it.

-Can I put a 6" lift and giant tires on it?
I don't give a ****. But be sure to use quality components and for God's sake - get it aligned after a lift!

-Would this make a good car for my daughter?
Hell. Yes. Not only a good car, a learning experience. Introduction to vehicular maintenance.
Additionally, there isn't really enough room in the back for that little bastard she's dating to try anything.

-Can you deliver?
Within reason. I'd drive it a hundred miles or so. But really, you should come get it. Look it over. Have a beer. Etc.

-Will you take a check / cashier's check / Western Union Transfer / Nigerian Promissory Note?
Would you take a ball pein hammer to the forehead?
No. I'll take Cash. Period. Bring cash or don't show.

-Will you ship to -?
No. See above.

-No, really, all I have is [lowball dollar amount]?
That's great, I don't give a ****. Unicef ain't running this deal, and until they do I want $1750.
Why? Because I don't HAVE to sell this little beauty. Truth be known, I'd rather keep it.
But if it's going to a good home - I will sell. Unless you're an ******* - then no sale.

-Why are you such a dick?
Everything is relative; you should see my friends.

Any other questions, feel free to reply to this email and ask.



Location: Enid, OK
it's NOT ok to contact this poster with services or other commercial interests

Posting ID: 4119280944

Posted: 2013-10-09, 11:39AM CDT

Updated: 2013-10-09, 3:36PM CDT

email to a friend

Avoid scams, deal locally! Do NOT wire funds (Western Union, Moneygram).
Beware cashier checks, money orders, shipping, non-local buyers/sellers. More info
 

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Punching above his weight
Joined
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10,901 Posts
This got me looking to see if I had any picture of Okey Doke on my computer.

I do!

9,500 feet. For good measure, it's filled with all my worldly possessions.

 

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Punching above his weight
Joined
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10,901 Posts
This is after I won the Brake Cylinder War of '09.
Probably the most frustrating automotive battle I've ever had. The cure was stacking two flare nut wrenches on the stripping copper nut and working it gently for about 15 minutes to remove it without damaging it. Barely made it to work on Monday. That one was a nailbiter.
 

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Super Moderator
Joined
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10,605 Posts
We are on our second Jeep. My wife is a fanatic. We sold our last vehicle prematurely so she could have another Jeep.
 

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Punching above his weight
Joined
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10,901 Posts
I spotted one error in the ad though...

-Would this make a good car for my daughter?
Hell. Yes. Not only a good car, a learning experience. Introduction to vehicular maintenance.
Additionally, there isn't really enough room in the back for that little bastard she's dating to try anything.


I don't know what luxury airliner this guy had when he was a teenager, but there is more than enough room for a small orgy in the back of an XJ.
 

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DPDT, Momentarily on
Joined
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718 Posts
Discussion Starter · #11 ·
I spotted one error in the ad though...

-Would this make a good car for my daughter?
Hell. Yes. Not only a good car, a learning experience. Introduction to vehicular maintenance.
Additionally, there isn't really enough room in the back for that little bastard she's dating to try anything.

I don't know what luxury airliner this guy had when he was a teenager, but there is more than enough room for a small orgy in the back of an XJ.
Yeah, I was thinking that, too, especially with the back seat folded down.
 

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Registered
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593 Posts
Look I have a red xj too. The list of things I've done to it is too long to even think of. All I know is that I've put over 2x what I paid for it and it wasn't cheap when I got it. Those receipts still haunt me
 

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Lazy Millennial
Carpenter
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4,014 Posts
I'm actually looking at ditching my 2004 Dakota and getting an old Cherokee and dropping a Truetrac in the rear. They make amazing winter vehicles.
 

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Registered
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593 Posts
Youngin' said:
I'm actually looking at ditching my 2004 Dakota and getting an old Cherokee and dropping a Truetrac in the rear. They make amazing winter vehicles.
Chrysler 8.25 in the rear and Aussie locker in the front. Drives different when the front is engaged but you'll never get stuck. Lock the front axle not the back so when you're not in 4wd it'll drive more like a road vehicle.
 

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DPDT, Momentarily on
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718 Posts
Discussion Starter · #17 · (Edited)
Chrysler 8.25 in the rear and Aussie locker in the front. Drives different when the front is engaged but you'll never get stuck. Lock the front axle not the back so when you're not in 4wd it'll drive more like a road vehicle.
This is good advice.

Additionally posi (lsd, locker, etc) rear isn't that great on snowy roads since it tends to push the vehicle regardless of steering input.

XJ buying tips:

Engine, 4.0 is near bullet proof. Look for one equipped with the Chrysler f.i. system not the Renault based Renix, the newer Chrysler set up is less troublesome. Avoid the 4 banger and 2.8 V-6.

Front axle, look for the NON central disconnect Dana 30, and the high pinion model is better still.

Rear axle, avoid the Dana 35 rear end unless your going to leave it stock, they're notoriously weak when lifts and larger tires are in the mix, the Chrysler 8.25 is stronger. Better still some models with the tow package came with a Dana 44.

Transfer case, NV231 or NV 242 are both good, the 242 is especially good for snowy climates since it has full time (differentiated f & r outputs) and part time (locked outputs). For wheeling use the part time only 231 since it's simpler, a little stronger and has more aftermarket support.

Trans, AW4 is as bulletproof as an a/t can be. Stay away from the earlier Peugeot 5 spd m/t.

For all things XJ here's a great resource: http://www.naxja.org/forum/index.php
 

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Contractor of the Month
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26,075 Posts
This is after I won the Brake Cylinder War of '09.
Probably the most frustrating automotive battle I've ever had. The cure was stacking two flare nut wrenches on the stripping copper nut and working it gently for about 15 minutes to remove it without damaging it. Barely made it to work on Monday. That one was a nailbiter.
Best way to deal with break cylinders is to cheat them out, hold the nut at the back and spin the break cylinder to avoid damaging the line. If it's really stuck take a torch to it and the piston will fall out, then heat it up and put a bar through it and give it a spin.
 

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Registered
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1,026 Posts
Technically it's a ZJ but same general style.
5.2 v-8 auto with 175k on her. Runs like a top.
Ford Explorer 8.8 rear axle with disk brakes and 4.10 gears limited slip.
6" lift and Monroe gas magnums.
35x 12.5 x 15 Super Swamper TSL radials on American Racing aluminum wheels.
 

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Lazy Millennial
Carpenter
Joined
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4,014 Posts
This is good advice.

Additionally posi (lsd, locker, etc) rear isn't that great on snowy roads since it tends to push the vehicle regardless of steering input.

...
Great advice, thank you. I'm going to take a screen shot of that to refer back to.

My Dakota is 4x4 but it's an open diff so if I try to get the thing going in 2wd over ice it just turns into a one wheel screamer unless I can feather the throttle enough. I was hoping that a jeep with limited slip would off set that problem. I hadn't thought of it as being a detriment.

Lots more research to do, that's okay though, I love me some automotive reading.
 
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