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Discussion Starter · #1 · (Edited)
No memory - I needed a gopher for some short term help and made the mistake of hiring a kid from the neighborhood that I didn't know very well that hit me up for some work to help me with a bathroom remodel. On his first day I would give him measurements for cuts and he couldn't remember them by the time he walked about 20 feet to the pile of materials. I told him to bring a notebook the next day. He forgot. :laughing:

Practically blind - I hired a tenant of mine living in a rental near my house since it was convenient to pick him up on a casual basis for some gopher stuff again on a remodel. I asked him to cut some drywall and it came back as squirrelly as I have ever seen. I gave him some tips and said try again. Next one just as bad. So I give him some more tips and I say this time I will watch you. I see him put his face about four inches from the board. I ask what the hell are you doing and he just stares at me and then goes back to doing it again. I realize dude can't see 12 inches in front of his face without the glasses he had lost. He didn't dare tell me he couldn't afford to replace his glasses. I loaned him some cash and he spent it on diapers for his kid. :clap:

House plant - We were going to be traveling so I wanted to get done as fast as possible so I hired a gopher temp for the trip for the summer that my wife knew from the high school she teaches at. We were at the hotel heading for breakfast and this kid forgot his wallet and has to head back to the room. In the process of going back to the room, this young kid got lost in the hallways and couldn't find his way back and was too timid to ask anyone for help. He calls his mom, who called my wife, who called me and we sent out a search party and found him on the wrong floor in a different wing of the hotel. :eek:

Pot head - One of my carpenters talked me into giving his older bother a chance to prove himself. I was putting fascia on the back of an addition we were building and I smell weed burning. I start down the ladder and look thru the back window thru the side window and see this clown hitting his pipe. I walk around the corner to confront him and startled him. He throws the glass pipe over his head behind him and it lands on the sidewalk about thirty feet away and shatters. I say, hey bud, I think you dropped something. Go sweep it up and I will take you home. Your all done today. :no:

Gone fishen' - I hired a guy to run a new crew I was trying to establish that was number two man on a crew that won national builder of the year for a pre-engineered building manufacturer that came very highly recommended. He was looking for a bigger place to live and his wife was looking for work. I had just bought a small motel and offered to move him and his mom into the managers quarters to run the motel with his wife. He started off beautiful and he was amazing with production levels, high quality work and excellent communication. About a month into it, I called the motel to spot check and no answer about five times in a row. I call his cell and ask what's up. His says his mom is there. I stop over to find her passed out drunk at 10 in the morning. We talked it over and he supposedly got her out of there and we make a plan to move forward without her. About a week later I get a call from my customer asking where the crew is. Eventually I track them down. He had fallen off the wagon (alcohol) with his mom and took my crew fishing in my company vehicle because nobody felt like working that day. :thumbsup:
 

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Discussion Starter · #3 ·
oh yeah....
well I hired my brother in law...
Hahaha. I did that too when I was engaged to my wife. I asked my father how do I fire my future brother in law without running the holidays. He said take him to a public place for breakfast and blame it all on yourself. Worked amazing. :whistling
 

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Discussion Starter · #4 ·
A commercial remodeler I know was thrown off a mall property when his crew drilled a peep hole thru the wall into the ladies changing room for the store next to the store they were remodeling. Apparently they couldn't see very well so they kept making the hole bigger until their while head fit thru the hole (according to legend). Hahaha
 

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Earlier most conservitive business men were former liberals who have now learned better about human nature....

My business isn't a charity....but business earns the money that provides charity.... Explain that to the big O and friends...

I can rebuild a hovel into the Tahj mahal, but I can't fix the uncaring's character defects...
 

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Home Repairs
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I have a kid working with me until summer as a favor to his mom. I use him for the mundane tasks that might save me a little time. He is a new story everyday. The kid has been doing ok for the most part, but he has his moments.

One morning about 8-9 days ago I told him to pop the top on a fiver of Pro Mar and stir it up while I run around the corner to get coffee. I come back 5 minutes later and see a paint run through the garage, up the steps. through the utility room, all the way up to the kitchen sink. I asked what happed. He said that I had told him to stir from the bottom up. I said yeah.....????? He used a 1 gallon stir stick after I had sat the 5 gallon stir stick on top of the container. :blink:
 

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hired a 17 year old go getter...

had him paint a radiator in the master bedroom, i set it all up for him, using oil black paint, brush, mini roller, screen in can, drop, and a rag for his fingers...

an hour later, wondering what the hel.l is taking so long... the drop COVERED in black paint... the carpet, soaked (knocked over the can) and one of my brand new wooster alphas in the paint, he was covered in black paint as well. he couldnt for the life of him understand what the mini roller was for, as far as the brush? he thought it was too big.. (2")

thankfully the HO was throwing out the carpet after we were done :whistling:laughing:
 

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Head Light Bulb Changer
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Yeah, I've hired some dumb ones.

17yo who couldn't for the life of him rack a HW floor. I have an easy system (that was taught to me - my WIFE picked it up in 5 minutes). 2 weeks of him screwing it up and he was gone.

18yo who was doing good after a month and demanded 1/2 of what I was CHARGING for the job. He couldn't understand material, supply, transportation, insurance, overhead, etc costs. "But I'm installing 1/2 the floor". Hey idiot - You're 18yo making $15/hr after I trained you for the past month.

27yo who could nail 1000+ ft a day, but couldn't rack or pull wall lines.

30yo afraid of heights over 10ft

A guy who showed up (late) every day in the same clothes (no bathing)

18yo showed up Monday morning with a shaved head, hoop earings, bolt in his lip, and new tattoos (new slutty GF)

Crackheads wanting me bail them out of jail at midnight Sunday so they could be at work Monday am

More I can't think of right now. 30 years of running a crew and you see ALL kinds.

Screw all that. I work on my own with one part-time helper now.
 

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Discussion Starter · #9 · (Edited)
A new guy comes to me after about a week and says "I just want to let you know I wont be worth a chit tomorrow because I will be up all night working on my derby car."

Followed by the rest of my crew breaking into hysterical laughter and my saying...

"I just want to let you know if you aren't worth a **** tomorrow you're fired. In fact, that is without a doubt the dumbest thing a new hire has ever said to me so let's end it now. You don't fit in here and your priorities and lack of common sense are beyond phucked"

Several have asked for loans a half dozen times which I do not do for idiots that can't manage money. I will only loan money for something important like a down payment on a house or needed vehicle if they have been with me for years and have proven their long term reliability and commitment to our goals.
 

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Finishing Carpenter
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66 Shelby;2017754 [B said:
30yo afraid of heights over 10ft[/B]

Haha that's me! I learned early on to suck it up and just go up the ladder. Two deep breaths, imagine that I need to pound the sh&& outa the guy at the top to get the adrenalin goin - up we go! It's easier now that I'm an old fart, I just climb and don't think about it.

you guys are scaring me, I'm thinking about hiring a part time helper. Geez, work ethics seem to be a missing link.
 

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Hired a 20 year old that had just moved in down the street from me. He claimed to be a 4th generation carpenter and said he had been helping his dad and uncle since he was 12. Told him I was going to set trusses on a 24'x40' garage in the morning and I was short handed. Stopped to pick him up the next morning on my way out at 6 AM. Its the middle of august, he gets in my truck with no cooler, no water, no hat, no sunglasses. We pulled 14 hours that day and he didn't come to the door the next morning when I stopped. :laughing:

Good friend told me a sob story about his uncle and talked me into giving him a try. 40 something year old guy was suppose to be able to do practically anything. Told me he had worked 20 years for Fredrick & May (one of the largest construction companies in this area). I drop him off and get him started digging post holes for a deck. I leave to go to the lumberyard, 5 minutes later he calls and tells me that we are going to have to call a blasting company - what ever the hell that is. He had hit "a rock" 12 inches down. Get the jackhammer out of the trailer and keep digging. :no:

Hired another random guy who claimed to be a good painter. I was about 2 days into a 2 week project on a HUGE stain job on a wood frame house. When we got on the job all he could do is look up and say, "Man that's tall!" :whistling
 

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All of the preceding post describe in perfect detail what America has for the most part become......a bunch of inept....self centered....unprepared....useless losers.....I was gonna hold back but what the hell.......I'm not going to live in denial....you shouldn't either.....feel blessed that you are accountable and capable.....and never settle for less from others
 

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Particulate Filter
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My helper couldn't figure out why the 10 inch miter saw wouldn't cut the 3.5 base molding in the vertical position (the motor was hitting just before the cut was completed). So he decided to MITER (not bevel) on the flat.

He's a good guy and we've worked together seasonally for four years, but after that I just decided there is absolutely no reason to spend another second allowing him to learn carpentry on my time. He'll just always be a helper.
 

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Nail Driving Fool
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My helper couldn't figure out why the 10 inch miter saw wouldn't cut the 3.5 base molding in the vertical position (the motor was hitting just before the cut was completed). So he decided to MITER (not bevel) on the flat.

:eek:
 

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Does an 130 lb Oxy-Contin addict count as an synthetic herion addict???

Didn't stink, pupils weren't hugely relaxed, but spent hours in Kybo(constipated) and was largely deaf(Russ lymbaugh II). Didn't understand how a good labor/operator could turn into a unsafe negative factor for production in a less than a six weeks..... Had to ask his helper," what the hell kind of dope Six was on?"

Lazy, Liar, and a theif, (time card and tools to buy dope....)
 
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