customers are great.

3587 Views 9 Replies 9 Participants Last post by Rustbucket, Aug 28, 2013

madrina

Discussion Starter · Aug 27, 2013 (Edited)

Anyone ever have a customer that has his /her chin on your shoulder while you work? I understand some older men just want to be part of the action.. And some people are interested in what your doing...but what is up with the customers that stand so close that ya can't even bend over without bumping into them?? I don't know what it up w this customer I have... My crew guy said he is staring at my ass.. But the dude is like 75. I hardly think he is interested in my ass...

and I mean damn if they insist on getting a piggy back ride, ya think they would be willing to pass me a tool from time to time. But NO. they just steady stare at me and watch me sweating my ass off in their attic.. And don't even turn the freckin ac on..

So the other day I get a call from a customer wanting to send me a referral. The guy needed a heat stack installed.. No big deal. Says he has all the parts and the attic is accessible. Said the roof wasn't steep and yadi yadi. I get there about 5 pm and its a 2 story 12/12 with no valley or hip or ridge anywhere near the spot I'm working. All the stuff he bought was wrong and yeah the attic was accessible alright..if I were a cat. On top of that they had the attic STUFFED TO THE BRIM WITH INSULATION. Ive never seen anything like it. He also told me he had plenty of extra shingles as I explained the possibility of one being torn while setting the flashing. Plenty being "2 &1/2" and the one I tore all to hell looked better than either one of the ones he had.

So I go buy the correct stuff and get back to the house just as the sun starts to fade.. I'm determined to install this vent before I leave for various reasons and I had plenty of time to do it.... Until the homeowner and wife decide to "help". So the guy gets a spotlight out, which may have been helpful had he shined it anywhere other than directly behind me or in my eyes... And the wife lined the ground with couch cushions in case I fell. Lol. They were insistent. So I've already cut my hole from the inside all I had to do was lift the shingles and put the flashing in.. Pop the hear stack in and wa la.. Yeeeeaaaah.. As I near the top of the ladder w my flat bar, flashing, hammer, nails and spray paint.. I start to reassess the situation.. **** this is steep! And the mere pressure of my hand caused a massive land slide of granules. Oh god! I'm on the roof now.. These shoes suck! Might as well have been wearing tap shoes...rethinking this... Toss the spray paint... Toss the hammer.. Put the nails in my mouth..flatbar in my belt loop and start climbing.. This was a dumb idea... But its too late now. Finally I reach the hole!! Thank god at least I have something to hold on to now.. Sweat in my eye.. 7500 watts in my eye.. Can this idiot not see that he is blinding the hell out of me? Not to mention I know the entire neighborhood could see my g string. Along with the tatoo on my back..

GO INSIDE!! ( I'm silently screaming that in my head). He doesn't hear me tho.. Omg.. Half my ass is showing..I'm clinging on this roof for dear life trying to lift these shingles w one hand... Blinded by sweat and the light they use to find lost airplanes... Ah. Knuckles all scratched up...nice. .. I hate myself... Flashing in!! Yea! Still hate myself...almost done... SLICE!! Mother f*-%&3!! !! Cut myself on the flashing....right in the thumb knuckle.. Bleeding all over the place... Won't stop.. **** !!!blood is running down my arm... damnit!!! Bleeding all over their shingles...omg so embarrassed...thank god the light is behind me and I'm casting a huge shadow.. Hiding my arm and the blood ... If I climb down I'm gonna leave bloody hand prints everywhere.. F"c%!.... No choice.. Reached in the attic and grabbed a handful of insulation.. Yeah. The fiberglass kind. Great. I hate myself more every second.. Finally reach the bottom of the roof and dude unplugs the light.. Perfect!! Its pitch black... Mosquito's swarming me.. Trying to find my ladder w one foot so I could flip on my belly and get off the roof...but at least the owner didn't see my arm!!! Searching for my tools in the grass ...still bleeding.. Every time I bend my knuckle I bleed more.. Now I have fiberglass and shingle dirt stuck to my arm.. Can't wipe my face...sweat still blinding me...I hate myself. Finally to the truck... $%&*! I just HAD to clean the truck out that morning! GREAT... any other day I'd have babywipes a Lil stack of clean towels.. A box of rags.. Hell even a shirt or two.. But no..nooooooo.. Not today... ..Panicking.... Can't let the homeowner see me.... How gross. I looked like a loch ness monster. I've never bled so much in my life.. ...oh....I see a bottle of water! Yea!... Freckin empty! Boo. Next... Hmmm. Yep I washed off the ol arm with some hot Gatorade.... Wtf! Is this really happening?.. ..I hate myself still. Air dried my arm...noticed the customer left the door open for me!! Score... Slipped in the house and found the rest room...cleaned myself up in under ten seconds.. Ran into the owner in the hall...got my check and hauled ass!.. ..went by the next day to see how bad I bled on their shingles ...and you could barely see it... I mean I could see it but they couldn't.. If they could they wouldn't think it was blood... Lol. ..nightmarejob#548.. Complete.

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roofermann

· #2 · Aug 27, 2013

We tell HO's like this that "because of liability reasons no one other than company personnel may be on the roof while work is being done" Seems to work:thumbup:

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Creter

· #3 · Aug 27, 2013

Thanks for the great story!

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toluene_hawk

· #4 · Aug 27, 2013

Lost it at couch cushions

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madrina

Discussion Starter · #5 · Aug 28, 2013

I forgot to tell Yal that the customers are the "live and in color" version of George Costanza parents. Northern accents and all.
Great people...just very comical. If anyone is a Seinfeld fan... You might remember the episode when Costanza's father goes to a therapist to learn how to cope w his stress... The therapist teaches him a relaxation method where he is supposed to breathe deeply and repeat "serenity now...serenity now" in between breaths. Later on there's a clip where George and his parents are stuck in the car in rush hour traffic and the wife is nagging them to death...you can see George's dad about to explode in the back seat and out of nowhere he starts SCREAMING "SERENITY NOW!! SERENITY NOW!!" at the top of his lungs.. and George looks in the rearview with total disgust and says "dad, are you sure you're supposed to scream it like that?"

That is the epitome of what its like every time I'm there. Lol.

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j_sims

· #6 · Aug 28, 2013

madrina said:
I forgot to tell Yal that the customers are the "live and in color" version of George Costanza parents. Northern accents and all.
Great people...just very comical. If anyone is a Seinfeld fan... You might remember the episode when Costanza's father goes to a therapist to learn how to cope w his stress... The therapist teaches him a relaxation method where he is supposed to breathe deeply and repeat "serenity now...serenity now" in between breaths. Later on there's a clip where George and his parents are stuck in the car in rush hour traffic and the wife is nagging them to death...you can see George's dad about to explode in the back seat and out of nowhere he starts SCREAMING "SERENITY NOW!! SERENITY NOW!!" at the top of his lungs.. and George looks in the rearview with total disgust and says "dad, are you sure you're supposed to scream it like that?"

That is the epitome of what its like every time I'm there. Lol.

:laughing: "Serenity now....insanity later" Hoochie Mama !!

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tedanderson

· #7 · Aug 28, 2013

:laughing::laughing::laughing:

I'm laughing so hard right now that I am in tears and I can barely breathe! Oh man!

I can relate to the light situation because it seems like when I go to fix something, the HO asks, "do you need more light?" and i say, "No thanks.. " but in my head I am saying, "No. No..Nooooo...NOOOOO NO!....eerrrrk NO! (sigh) I said NO!" because they start turning on lights and bringing lamps over to where I am regardless of my answer..

I sometimes troubleshoot wall jacks that lead up to the TV on the wall and the last thing I need is a light shining in my eyes as I am kneeling on the floor and looking up.

Then there is the pants-falling-down thing.. Like if I am carrying something big and heavy and my pants start to ride down a little bit, my #1 concern is moving the heavy item without breaking it. I don't need the HO to say, "umm..did you know that your pants are coming down? Well didja?" NEVERMIND! NEVER MIND! If you want to be helpful then hold the door!

Then with sweat in my eyes.. the observant HO's kid says, "You're sweating! Hey! HEY! HEEEEYYY!!! You're sweating!" has he pats me on my leg.. Umm... Mrs. Housewife, please tell Jr. to leave me alone?

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MarkJames

· #8 · Aug 28, 2013

I was helping my electrician with reattaching the utility line to my next door neighbor's house (retired guy) and repairing some flashing, etc. The homeowner came out with a folding chair, bag of chips, and sat down to watch us like we were a tv show. When he interrupted one too many times with "Are you sure there's nothing I can get you, etc.", I stopped, climbed down and asked him if he used to like it or it made him nervous when his old boss watched him closely while he worked. "Um, no, I didn't like it!" Then I replied, extra slowly for emphasis, "This is kind of the same thing - we really need to focus."

He folded up his chair but was sure to tell us where we could find him if we needed anything.

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jlsconstruction

· #9 · Aug 28, 2013

I keep one of those headlight flashlights and a big flash light that charges in the cigarette lighter in the truck at all times, And two Makita ones in the trailer. But those headlight ones are the cats ass

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