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Crazy, wacky and just plain dumb late/no-show excuces.

11456 Views 97 Replies 48 Participants Last post by  Roofcheck
Yep, we've all heard them! Outrageous excuses for someone being late or not showing up for work. Let's hear 'em.

My favorites (for being late): "I had a heart attack on my way in and pulled over until it passed." (For a no-show): "I couldn't fit my bag of chips into my lunch cooler so I had to go shopping for a new cooler."


Your turn!
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Had a fight with the old lady......

So???

I lost my keys..... again....
I had a young kid on my crew that was a bit unreliable, but it was hard to get any English speaking crew members at that time. I put up with it for a few weeks.

The final straw was when he showed up 4 hours late after missing a full day and said "I ate too much candy the other night". I almost wanted to keep him on because it was the first time I had heard that one. :laughing:
I had a guy call me one evening and wanted the rest of the week off cause his mother in law had died. And that was fine, but apparently he forgot 3 weeks prior he needed a few days off...CAUSE HIS MOTHER IN LAW DIED! :whistling

Hadn't seen him since. :laughing:
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Gotta keep those lies consistent, man! His father-in-law must have remarried real quick, right?
I had a guy call me one evening and wanted the rest of the week off cause his mother in law had died. And that was fine, but apparently he forgot 3 weeks prior he needed a few days off...CAUSE HIS MOTHER IN LAW DIED! :whistling

Hadn't seen him since. :laughing:
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We don't even ask for reasons anymore. We tell everyone who comes onboard that you're a grownup, things happen sometimes and we understand that, but:

1) No-call/no-shows are grounds for immediate dismissal and
2) If you're late more than I am, you're outta here.


It seems harsh, but it weeds out the BS'rs and the just plain lazy. And I enforce it, too. Not just lip service. We all meet up and ride together, so if some knucklehead is late 10 minutes every day, they're costing 2-4 other guys that ten minutes. Nobody gets paid to sit in my driveway.
one took 10 days off for morning, his doberman died
My mom made the pancakes too big (late)

Reached into medicine cabinet and grabbed flea dip instead of cough medicine. Spent an hour on the phone with poison control. (late) This one had to be true. You just can't make up stuff Luke that.
I hired my buddy to shingle my house years ago. His guy showed up 2 hours late, said he wasn't going to work because "it's supposed to rain" and left. It never rained & my buddy worked solo the whole day.
I worked with a lazy guy who always quit early because he had "a lawyers appointment about divorcing his wife." He used that one multiple times a week for over year before he got canned. Funny thing is after he would say that you could drive by his house and he and his wife's vehicles were always in the driveway. And as far as I know they're still married.
After this one I stopped paying attention to excuses because NOTHING beats this one. From our laborer at the time "I won't be in today, I was driving to work and chit my pants, I thought it was just a fart".
We couldn't stop laughing.
I worked with a kid whose grandmother died 37 times.
I had a guy call me one evening and wanted the rest of the week off cause his mother in law had died. And that was fine, but apparently he forgot 3 weeks prior he needed a few days off...CAUSE HIS MOTHER IN LAW DIED! :whistling

Hadn't seen him since. :laughing:
"I was gonna take my red truck to work, but my wife said I should take my blue one. So I didn't go cuz the tires on the blue truck are getting worn. "

I had a guy tell me he was meeting his lawyer over his ex wife's alimony. Couldn't miss it. I fired him for not giving me notice. He called me the next day, apologized, and asked for his job back. Took him back cuz I really needed guys.

About three weeks later when I fired him again I found out he was on house arrest and the meeting had actually been with his parole officer.
A twist on the subject. When I was new to the hiring thing many years ago I had a new guy say this to me.

"I just want to let you know I wont be worth a chit tomorrow because I will be up all night working on my derby car"

My response "I just want to let you know, if you're not worth a chit tomorrow, you will be fired. Thanks for being honest but I'm not a charity and I'm not your mommy"

He was trying to be honest even if he was an idiot.

At the end of the day I fired him for all the other stupid chit had been doing. Duh!
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I think I'd be late after that as well. This coming from a guy who dumped boiling water on his hand getting ready for work at 7am and was still at on time at 8am a month or so ago.

My mom made the pancakes too big (late)

Reached into medicine cabinet and grabbed flea dip instead of cough medicine. Spent an hour on the phone with poison control. (late) This one had to be true. You just can't make up stuff Luke that.
After this one I stopped paying attention to excuses because NOTHING beats this one. From our laborer at the time "I won't be in today, I was driving to work and chit my pants, I thought it was just a fart".
We couldn't stop laughing.
Well, chit happens:)
:thumbsup:
We don't even ask for reasons anymore. We tell everyone who comes onboard that you're a grownup, things happen sometimes and we understand that, but:

1) No-call/no-shows are grounds for immediate dismissal and
2) If you're late more than I am, you're outta here.



It seems harsh, but it weeds out the BS'rs and the just plain lazy. And I enforce it, too. Not just lip service. We all meet up and ride together, so if some knucklehead is late 10 minutes every day, they're costing 2-4 other guys that ten minutes. Nobody gets paid to sit in my driveway.
On the other end of the spectrum....


I was working with a guy once who cracked his head open with the claw of his hammer. Rushed him to the ER, where they stitched him up and sent him home. At 3 A.M., he goes back to the ER because the stitches pulled loose. Still made it on time the next day.
I had a guy show up late in his moms car. He said my car wouldnt start, I said that sucks and started to tell him where we were at, he said I cant work I just borrowed the car to come tell ya, mom needs her car back:blink: another guy was late alot , he said it was cause I worked too much :eek:
I pulled out ny driveway and puked all overmyself and the van once.. yeah Im not gonna make it in.
Had a guy say he was sleepwalking and turned off his alarm as his excuse for showing up a couple hours late...

Then of course there was the I don't have money for bus fare BS... Can't spend $3 to make $100+?
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