How about the day a hammer fell off roof. I called down to new guy and asked him to toss it back up. He said sure, and before I could blink, he had reared back and let fly as if from deep center trying to get a runner out at home. I screamed "duck" and everybody hit the deck. Hammer was found 3 houses away.
A fellow working for us kept complaining about the large detour around a house caused by the attached green house. Couple hours later, he pulled toe-board up and sent it through curved glass panel on same green house. "I didn't know it was there" excuse really didn't fly either. (-$795.)
Long-time worker on one job was told not to throw walk-boards down. Said he knew what he was doing. Tossed it anyway, lenghtwise like a large spear. Neat, the way it tagged a ladder rung and went flying through ladder, through picture window, and living room wall. (-$3250.)
I hadn't been at this line of work long, when while on a roof for some repair, I noticed a soft spot. Told foreman. When owner showed up,he went to spot and started jumping lightly on spot to show owner. Owner had to go into kitchen to finish that conversation with foreman!
How about the day I sent my son-in-law to paint new tin roof. According to him, the 2 yellow Labs must have been playing on deck while he was on roof and somehow got into the paint. Result 2 Black Labs, black deck, etc. Did I also mention the PET DOOR and indoor RESULTS. The husband, who probably didn't have as much to do with clean-up as wife, still gets red when I mention it. Wife thought it was a trip. She stills laughs about it. She said Szxz happens!!
While doing new tin roof on a site, new addition, My panel maker made a comment about all the BB's he have found on floor. ( our equip was inside addition). I looked up and,(skip sheathing), instead of seeing a dark attic area, it looked like a star-lit night. GC's kids had had a field day in there. When I told him to also figure another $65. per hour to patch his new roof he had a baby. TO this day, mention BB gun in that house, it gets REAL quiet and the, now 30 year-old kids still slink on out.
( Come to think about it, last two were in that Va. county I'm getting a phobia about.)
Rain caught us short one day. I told one helper, Not a newbie, to cut 12" strips from end of roll of felt and nail them upside down on hip so nails wouldn't be needed on finished side. I was tarping and felting elsewhere. He said "took care of it boss". Next day when I went to continue job, found he had ran felt over hip about 3' and nailed hell out of it!
Came around the house one day to hear: " You stupid Bxzzxzx, it's only a MzxzFcczv bush. I'll Fxzx buy you another fzxx bush, you dumb Bzxz. etc,etc, Shut up woman, I'll jack your jaw,etc. He couldn't understand why I fired him and I understand why I never got a referral.
Boss was in bushes and said to keep eye out for lady of house. I said sure. Sounded like everything was coming out OK, So I saidc" yes ma'am, he's right here in the bush. Lots of noise in bush, mumbling, etc. Boss's head comes out "Where is she?" "She left". Cussed me out, called me bad names. Looked like he had spilt a large drink in his lap.
On a sub job once, for some reason, couldn't get dump in drive under 12/12 beside house. Asked L.O.H. to put car in front because of trash in drive. She refused. Next I know, she's driving over large pile of T.O.. Long story short, she made about 8 trips through T.O. during day. Sent bill to Roofer for $562. in flat repairs for the day. ( She did end up eating it too!)
Helper hollered for my help one day. Had to cross through t.o. and as I put a nail in one foot, L.o. H. popped around corner to see me hop and bite my tongue. On thrid hop, got other foot. Said S.O.A.B.
She like to busted a gut laughing and said she would have started cussing on first nail!
Butch and I were working on gutter. Lot of ladies by open window playing bridge. Butch said darn, I cut it wrong. ( or something). We went into repair mode instead of blame mode. Boss all of a sudden starts screaming " What the Fzzxz is that. You Stupid xzx zsas
zxaax,etc, What the Fxz is the biddy gonna say when she sees that Fzxzxup? Needless to say, ALL the biddies were standing behind him by time he finished. Butch and I left him to them, and he didn't even say hi to us for next 2 or 3 days!
Had a newbie on a bur years ago. When Jack said he needed a bunch of 12" strips of felt, newbie said he'd cut them. Asked if he could do that? Sure, been watching you all day. Shortly afterwards he handed us several long pieces, nicely cut, to do curbs. Later, Jack stopped in his tracks on way to ladder and called me over to ask, " What the xzcxz is this?" Roof was full of paralell cuts about 30' long and about 12" across! Newbie, with a hook-blade, had cut clear through 3 plies and bases sheet! He was able to make it to ladder and leave before Jack caught him and tossed him off roof.
Years ago, when I was new, I told boss I could sweep 12" snow off 12/12 so we could roof it. Set ladder at gable and only managed to clear one 2'wide strip from ridge to gutter before I called it quits.
Only took 3 seconds to figure that out!
Worked with a guy once who talked all the time!! He even said he could forget what he was doing while talking. As he said that, he walked right off other end of building holding dumb end of chalkline. Way the reel spun, you would have though I had hooked a mackeral!! Came right back up and asked if I saw what he meant by getting distracted?