I have been around carpentry and roofing all of my life. From building homes and shops, to major exterior and interior remodels, to hundreds of sq. Of roofing in a season. I graduated college with a Building Construction Technology degree, I have been working with dad in the summers since I was 12 up until I finished college. My dad and I have always had a problem working together. Its not that he is hard on me, I have a lot of drive and always push for production. We have a lot of communication issues. I try to discuss jobs with him and he wont answer his phone, he is rarely at the jobs which is understood if he was doing estimates in that time. If I try to talk to him in person he gives me a hard time. I am trying to help this business grow even further, as that is what I want and my dad wants, but this isn't going to work out. I have done so much to try to make this business grow. I can't help further this business with him when we can't even talk to each other regardless if its boss to employee or father to son. I am going through a lot of stress and depression right now with my father. I really can't stand being around him. We have always had some relationship issues.
I have worked for other contractors before in the past because there were times I couldn't stand working for my dad. I would go through misery all summer in a mental state. I enjoyed working for other contractors but I always ended up leaving after 4-6 months as my dad was desperate for a lead. I felt bad and figured he needs my help. But things always run downhill between us and our relationship. We do good work, have a great name, and have done a lot of big jobs together. But I cannot stand working for him, I have tried and tried to mentally keep myself sane. I am now thinking of next season as I don't want to go through another year of stress and depression with my dad. So here are my options that each have their own pros and cons. I'd like to know what others think, any responses would be appreciated.
1. Continue to work for my dad, and go through the stress and depression that bogs me down and makes the summers so mentally painful, to continue that "father and son" picture that customers like to see, but deep down its an unhealthy situation.
2. Work for another contractor. I have left my dad twice for these same reasons to work for other contractors. The experience was great, the contractors I worked for really liked my skill and work ethic, and I always got raises quickly. I am a lead carpenter whether working for dad or anyone else. The pro of this is I won't go through the stress with my dad and we can salvage some of our relationship. The cons are I will be working for my dads competition.
3. Start my own business. This is something I have always wanted to do. I have done a lot of my own side work while working for my dad. There is so much more reward from doing a job as the business owner. To get $3500 in a week versus $700 from doing the same work, but doing additional after work estimates or paperwork sounds absolutely worth it to me. This has always been my goal. I have a good amount of capital to be able to pursue this. The pro of this is making real money, being my own boss, and not dealing with the stress my father gives me. The cons are creating a new kind of stress being a business owner, and becoming my fathers competition in a small city.
I have seen some local contractors who were once father and son, split up and do their own thing. I am unsure how that effects the relationship. All I know is the relationship between my dad and I cannot get much worse than it is. I feel even though I am not working for him, but for myself, that it may help salvage our father to son relationship.
My father has raised me and taught me a lot, and I will always appreciate that. But our relationship is horrible. It hurts us both mentally. We cannot communicate at all. But I love doing this work, I just no longer want to do it with my dad. I also really don't want to just be that guy working by the hour for his competition. I have a lot more potential than that. I really would like to run my own company but its a big move in this situation after knowing the cons. But the pros seem to balance it out. And not having to stress and depress with my dad preserves a lot of my energy.
Any thoughts or suggestions?
I have worked for other contractors before in the past because there were times I couldn't stand working for my dad. I would go through misery all summer in a mental state. I enjoyed working for other contractors but I always ended up leaving after 4-6 months as my dad was desperate for a lead. I felt bad and figured he needs my help. But things always run downhill between us and our relationship. We do good work, have a great name, and have done a lot of big jobs together. But I cannot stand working for him, I have tried and tried to mentally keep myself sane. I am now thinking of next season as I don't want to go through another year of stress and depression with my dad. So here are my options that each have their own pros and cons. I'd like to know what others think, any responses would be appreciated.
1. Continue to work for my dad, and go through the stress and depression that bogs me down and makes the summers so mentally painful, to continue that "father and son" picture that customers like to see, but deep down its an unhealthy situation.
2. Work for another contractor. I have left my dad twice for these same reasons to work for other contractors. The experience was great, the contractors I worked for really liked my skill and work ethic, and I always got raises quickly. I am a lead carpenter whether working for dad or anyone else. The pro of this is I won't go through the stress with my dad and we can salvage some of our relationship. The cons are I will be working for my dads competition.
3. Start my own business. This is something I have always wanted to do. I have done a lot of my own side work while working for my dad. There is so much more reward from doing a job as the business owner. To get $3500 in a week versus $700 from doing the same work, but doing additional after work estimates or paperwork sounds absolutely worth it to me. This has always been my goal. I have a good amount of capital to be able to pursue this. The pro of this is making real money, being my own boss, and not dealing with the stress my father gives me. The cons are creating a new kind of stress being a business owner, and becoming my fathers competition in a small city.
I have seen some local contractors who were once father and son, split up and do their own thing. I am unsure how that effects the relationship. All I know is the relationship between my dad and I cannot get much worse than it is. I feel even though I am not working for him, but for myself, that it may help salvage our father to son relationship.
My father has raised me and taught me a lot, and I will always appreciate that. But our relationship is horrible. It hurts us both mentally. We cannot communicate at all. But I love doing this work, I just no longer want to do it with my dad. I also really don't want to just be that guy working by the hour for his competition. I have a lot more potential than that. I really would like to run my own company but its a big move in this situation after knowing the cons. But the pros seem to balance it out. And not having to stress and depress with my dad preserves a lot of my energy.
Any thoughts or suggestions?
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