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So Much For Getting A Girlfriend

 
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Old 03-29-2013, 11:54 AM   #21
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Re: So Much For Getting A Girlfriend


Oh God guys, just cut to the chase!

Ask her if she prefers Studs or Tongue & Groove!!
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Old 03-29-2013, 12:00 PM   #22
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Re: So Much For Getting A Girlfriend


Hey does my hand smell like chloroform? works every time
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Old 03-29-2013, 12:09 PM   #23
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Re: So Much For Getting A Girlfriend


Business cards, business cards, business cards!

Oh yeah and the wedding ring.

Try opening with this:

I like your shirt. Where do you guys get your uniforms.

(wait for answer)

I run a construction company and have been looking for a supplier for uniforms.

(and the ice is broken just pay attention to the body language. If she suddenly "relaxes": game on. If not, move on.)

But I'm married so what do i know hehe...
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Old 03-29-2013, 02:18 PM   #24
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Re: So Much For Getting A Girlfriend


Quote:
Originally Posted by Chris Johnson View Post
I think this is Nick in a disguise account...either that or a very close relative of his.
Nah, nick would have asked her if she likes pickles...
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Old 03-29-2013, 02:23 PM   #25
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Re: So Much For Getting A Girlfriend


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Hey does my hand smell like chloroform? works every time

That and our white van with the 'Free Cookies, come on in' printed on the side panels
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Old 03-29-2013, 02:38 PM   #26
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Re: So Much For Getting A Girlfriend


Typically baristas like tough guys. When she serves you your hot coffee, remove the lid and pour it on your head screaming "THIS DOIN' IT FOR YA, BABY?!"

How I met my ex-wife. I was the barista.
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Old 03-29-2013, 03:36 PM   #27
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Re: So Much For Getting A Girlfriend


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Originally Posted by toluene_hawk View Post
Typically baristas like tough guys. When she serves you your hot coffee, remove the lid and pour it on your head screaming "THIS DOIN' IT FOR YA, BABY?!"

How I met my ex-wife. I was the barista.
You served your ex-wife coffee and she poured it on her head? Wasn't that a red flag?
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Old 03-29-2013, 05:00 PM   #28
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Re: So Much For Getting A Girlfriend


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You served your ex-wife coffee and she poured it on her head? Wasn't that a red flag?
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Old 03-29-2013, 05:01 PM   #29
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Re: So Much For Getting A Girlfriend


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Nah, nick would have asked her if she likes pickles...
Chris introduces me as "Pickle".... I used to reply "no, im nick" but now im just like "aww **** it i am Pickle"
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Old 03-29-2013, 05:19 PM   #30
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Re: So Much For Getting A Girlfriend


Quote:
Originally Posted by B.Scott View Post
Oh God guys, just cut to the chase!

Ask her if she prefers Studs or Tongue & Groove!!
I wouldn't mention Tongue & Groove, she might get curious and you can fuggedaboutit...
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Old 03-29-2013, 05:25 PM   #31
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Re: So Much For Getting A Girlfriend


What a bunch of perves trying atract women with "wood" and "studs"...

You need a more gentle approach... try to discuss plywood, and all the layers, how they're being glued together with adjacent plies and having that natural wood grain positioned at the right angles to each other to form one solid material. Dam... I need a cold shower now
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Old 03-29-2013, 05:26 PM   #32
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Re: So Much For Getting A Girlfriend


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Originally Posted by greg24k View Post
I wouldn't mention Tongue & Groove, she might get curious and you can fuggedaboutit...
Or the other possible outcome......and you jump in and thank the gods for it.
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Old 03-29-2013, 05:28 PM   #33
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Re: So Much For Getting A Girlfriend


Quote:
Originally Posted by BlueRidgeGreen View Post
Or the other possible outcome......and you jump in and thank the gods for it.
Well, if you put it that way, then get your headphones ready because it looks like its gonna be a long weekend
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Old 03-29-2013, 05:29 PM   #34
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Re: So Much For Getting A Girlfriend


Quote:
Originally Posted by greg24k View Post
What a bunch of perves trying atract women with "wood" and "studs"...

You need a more gentle approach... try to discuss plywood, and all the layers, how they're being glued together with adjacent plies and having that natural wood grain positioned at the right angles to each other to form one solid material. Dam... I need a cold shower now
Now THAT is some GOOD material. You are well on your way now Ty.

I retract my previous warning for that post alone......and double-down on it for all the others.
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Old 03-29-2013, 05:58 PM   #35
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Re: So Much For Getting A Girlfriend


Quote:
Originally Posted by Chris Johnson

That and our white van with the 'Free Cookies, come on in' printed on the side panels
Nicks van
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Old 03-30-2013, 12:09 AM   #36
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Re: So Much For Getting A Girlfriend


My daughter swears that my van looks like that when I pick her up at school.
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Old 03-30-2013, 12:38 AM   #37
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Re: So Much For Getting A Girlfriend


Quote:
Originally Posted by Tylerwalker32 View Post
I thought you all would have a good time with this post. And as for the being gay, I'm not.
Do you ever put on womans makeup? I'm not going to post the pic
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Old 03-30-2013, 03:37 AM   #38
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Re: So Much For Getting A Girlfriend


my faincee tell me dam you r built lika brick outhous,i looked hr in th eyes and sad your got prettty eyes it was gameon then i thnk she lubricat rihgt then

sh said she new sh want mee when sh could see my thong when i ben over evertim

Last edited by Mavis Leonard; 03-30-2013 at 03:40 AM.
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Old 03-30-2013, 05:56 AM   #39
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Re: So Much For Getting A Girlfriend


Quote:
Originally Posted by FramingPro View Post
Chris introduces me as "Pickle".... I used to reply "no, im nick" but now im just like "aww **** it i am Pickle"
You will thank me one day...just be patient
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Old 03-30-2013, 07:49 AM   #40
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Re: So Much For Getting A Girlfriend


I like this one (hall pass)

How much does a Polar Bear weigh?.....enough to break the ice. Hi I'm <insert name>!

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