The Official CT Joke Duel Page - Page 124 - Off Topic (Non Trade) - Contractor Talk

The Official CT Joke Duel Page

 
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Old 02-22-2019, 07:03 AM   #2461
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Re: The Official CT Joke Duel Page


No man. It's me, Dave.
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Old 02-23-2019, 07:56 AM   #2462
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Re: The Official CT Joke Duel Page


The Official CT joke duel page-bq-5c712dd26bfef.jpeg
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Old 02-26-2019, 04:52 PM   #2463
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Re: The Official CT Joke Duel Page


Do you believe in life after death, the boss asked one of his newest employees.

Yes sir, the new employee replied.

Well then, that makes everything just fine, the boss went on.

Because after you left early yesterday afternoon to attend your grandmother's funeral...she stopped in to see you.
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Old 03-07-2019, 04:49 PM   #2464
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Re: The Official CT Joke Duel Page


Ma was in the kitchen fiddling around when she hollers out, "Pa! You need to go out and fix the outhouse!"
Pa replies, "There ain't nuthin wrong with the outhouse."
Ma yells back, "Yes there is, now git out there and fix it."

So Pa mosies out to the outhouse, looks around and yells back, "Ma! There ain't nuthin wrong with the outhouse!"
"Ma replies, "Stick yur head in the hole!"
Pa yells back, "I ain't stickin my head in that hole!
"Ma says, "Ya have to stick yur head in the hole to see what to fix."

So with that, Pa sticks his head in the hole, looks around and yells back, "Ma! There ain't nuthin wrong with this outhouse!"
Ma hollers back, "Now take your head out of the hole!"
Pa proceeds to pull his head out of the hole, then starts yelling,
"Ma! Help! My beard is stuck in the cracks in the toilet seat!"

To which Ma replies,"Hurts, don't it?!"
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Old 03-09-2019, 11:32 PM   #2465
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Re: The Official CT Joke Duel Page


https://i.imgur.com/qkARcqd.jpg
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Old 03-11-2019, 09:22 AM   #2466
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Re: The Official CT Joke Duel Page


movie humor
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Old Today, 06:06 AM   #2467
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Re: The Official CT Joke Duel Page


The Kindness of the Irish

The Irish are always the first ones to come to the aid of their fellow man.
Shortly after take-off on an outbound, evening Aer Lingus flight from
Dublin to Boston, the lead flight attendant nervously made the following
painful announcement in her lovely Irish brogue: "Ladies and gentlemen,
I'm so very sorry, but it appears that there has been a terrible mix-up by
our catering service.

I don't know how this has happened, but we have 103 passengers on board,
and unfortunately, we received only 40 dinner meals. I truly apologize for
this mistake and inconvenience."

When the muttering of the passengers had died down, she continued,
"Anyone who is kind enough to give up their meal so that someone else
can eat, will receive free and unlimited drinks for the duration of our
10-hour flight.

Her next announcement came about 2 hours later: "If anyone is hungry, we
still, have 40 dinners available."

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