Jobsite "one-liners" - Page 8 - Off Topic (Non Trade) - Contractor Talk

Jobsite "one-liners"

 
Thread Tools Search this Thread Display Modes
Old 03-10-2013, 11:36 AM   #141
Pro
 
Five Star's Avatar
 
Trade: Finish Carpenter,Deck Builder, Contractor
Join Date: Jan 2009
Location: New Jersey
Posts: 1,524
Rewards Points: 1,010

Re: Jobsite "one-liners"


Quote:
Originally Posted by donerightwyo
Put down your purse and hit that SOB.
When someone is over pounding on something I alway say you beat the bejesus out of that thing, it never had a chance against you!
Or if someone over nails I say you nailed the bejesus out of it!
__________________
The Bitterness of Poor Quality Remains longer
Than The Sweetness Of A Low Price Is Forgotten
Five Star is offline  
The Following User Says Thank You to Five Star For This Useful Post:
donerightwyo (03-10-2013)

Warning: The topics covered on this site include activities in which there exists the potential for serious injury or death. ContractorTalk.com DOES NOT guarantee the accuracy or completeness of any information contained on this site. Always use proper safety precaution and reference reliable outside sources before attempting any construction or remodeling task!

   

Advertisement

 

Old 03-10-2013, 11:39 AM   #142
Pro
 
tenon0774's Avatar
 
Trade: Remodeling Carpenter
Join Date: Feb 2013
Location: Pittsburgh, PA
Posts: 2,138
Rewards Points: 2,270

Re: Jobsite "one-liners"


One of the carpenters, Bill, was tormenting a laborer who was bigger than he was within earshot of my foreman at the time.

My foreman said one thing to him to get him to knock it off:

"Keep it up Bill, I'm not gonna pull him off of you!"
__________________
-Scott
tenon0774 is offline  
The Following 2 Users Say Thank You to tenon0774 For This Useful Post:
AlbacoreShuffle (04-19-2013), donerightwyo (03-10-2013)
Old 03-10-2013, 11:41 AM   #143
Pro
 
donerightwyo's Avatar
 
Trade: custom builder
Join Date: Oct 2011
Posts: 2,816
Rewards Points: 346

Re: Jobsite "one-liners"


Mikey does'er nice, cause Mikey does'er twice.
__________________
I can't compete with hacks.
donerightwyo is online now  
Sponsored Links
Advertisement
 
Old 03-10-2013, 11:42 AM   #144
Registered User
 
ToddnDarla's Avatar
 
Trade: General Contractor
Join Date: Jan 2013
Location: Windom, MN
Posts: 16
Rewards Points: 22

Re: Jobsite "one-liners"


About the "Low Budget" customer, "He skins his farts for lard."

When you only waste a tiny bit, "That would even make a Mennonite smile."

When something just isn't working, "Like shootin' pool with a rope."

When someone is struggling with a simple task, " Would you like a small child to help you with that?"
ToddnDarla is offline  
The Following 2 Users Say Thank You to ToddnDarla For This Useful Post:
donerightwyo (03-10-2013), tenon0774 (03-10-2013)
Old 03-10-2013, 11:43 AM   #145
Pro
 
tenon0774's Avatar
 
Trade: Remodeling Carpenter
Join Date: Feb 2013
Location: Pittsburgh, PA
Posts: 2,138
Rewards Points: 2,270

Re: Jobsite "one-liners"


Quote:
Originally Posted by donerightwyo View Post
Mikey does'er nice, cause Mikey does'er twice.
...or thrice.
__________________
-Scott
tenon0774 is offline  
The Following User Says Thank You to tenon0774 For This Useful Post:
donerightwyo (03-10-2013)
Old 03-10-2013, 12:23 PM   #146
Gen. Contractor
 
Ninjaframer's Avatar
 
Trade: Residential Light commercial
Join Date: May 2011
Location: Utah
Posts: 3,194
Rewards Points: 2,610

Re: Jobsite "one-liners"


You gonna frame that or make love to it!
__________________
"slow makes smooth, smooth makes fast"
Ninjaframer is offline  
Old 03-10-2013, 12:33 PM   #147
Pro
 
LCG's Avatar
 
Trade: Roofing/Siding/Seamless
Join Date: May 2011
Posts: 288
Rewards Points: 272

Re: Jobsite "one-liners"


Sometimes you just have to stop and ask yourself.

What would Cooter do?
LCG is offline  
The Following User Says Thank You to LCG For This Useful Post:
tenon0774 (03-10-2013)
Old 03-10-2013, 12:49 PM   #148
Pro
 
bcf's Avatar
 
Trade: Fence Contractor
Join Date: Mar 2006
Location: Colorado Springs, CO
Posts: 134
Rewards Points: 75

Re: Jobsite "one-liners"


Tighter than a bull's a** during fly season!
What they call working, I call milking.
Can't make chicken soup outta chicken sh*t.
__________________
Matt Ehrenzeller
bcf is offline  
Old 03-10-2013, 12:57 PM   #149
Gen. Contractor
 
Ninjaframer's Avatar
 
Trade: Residential Light commercial
Join Date: May 2011
Location: Utah
Posts: 3,194
Rewards Points: 2,610

Re: Jobsite "one-liners"


Hotter than 2 squirrels screwing in wool sock.

Rainin harder than a double ****ed cow pissin on a flat rock.
__________________
"slow makes smooth, smooth makes fast"
Ninjaframer is offline  
Old 03-10-2013, 12:59 PM   #150
Gen. Contractor
 
Ninjaframer's Avatar
 
Trade: Residential Light commercial
Join Date: May 2011
Location: Utah
Posts: 3,194
Rewards Points: 2,610

Re: Jobsite "one-liners"


Happier than a fag with 2 buttholes
__________________
"slow makes smooth, smooth makes fast"
Ninjaframer is offline  
The Following 2 Users Say Thank You to Ninjaframer For This Useful Post:
Dirtywhiteboy (03-10-2013), tenon0774 (03-10-2013)
Old 03-10-2013, 01:00 PM   #151
Atlanta Remodeling
 
bdoles's Avatar
 
Trade: Home Repairs and Remodeling
Join Date: Sep 2007
Location: Atlanta
Posts: 234
Rewards Points: 154

Re: Jobsite "one-liners"


"You got time to lean, you got time to clean"

"You couldn't pull a greasy string out of a cats ass"
bdoles is offline  
Old 03-10-2013, 01:16 PM   #152
Builder of Stuff
 
Young_Buck's Avatar
 
Trade: Carpentry
Join Date: Jul 2009
Location: Huntington, Vermont
Posts: 362
Rewards Points: 288

Re: Jobsite "one-liners"


He's squeezing his last nickel so hard, he has a pocket full of buffalo [email protected]#.
Young_Buck is offline  
Old 03-10-2013, 01:30 PM   #153
Registered User
 
mikebr's Avatar
 
Trade: GC
Join Date: Mar 2013
Location: Central Illinois
Posts: 4
Rewards Points: 10

Re: Jobsite "one-liners"


"If you fall,your fired before you hit the ground"
"Go to the trailer and get me a gallon of poka dot paint"
mikebr is offline  
Old 03-10-2013, 01:38 PM   #154
I own stock in FotoMat!
 
480sparky's Avatar
 
Trade: 132 on Bush, I've got him at gunpoint!
Join Date: Jan 2009
Location: Iowa
Posts: 11,990
Rewards Points: 11,874

Re: Jobsite "one-liners"


Tree fiddy.
__________________
This post has been modified from its original version. It has been formatted to fit this screen and edited for content.
480sparky is online now  
The Following 2 Users Say Thank You to 480sparky For This Useful Post:
Dan V. (05-04-2013), tenon0774 (03-10-2013)
Old 03-10-2013, 01:47 PM   #155
Pro
 
schaefercs's Avatar
 
Trade: Remodeling
Join Date: Jul 2008
Location: Rochester NY
Posts: 593
Rewards Points: 520

Re: Jobsite "one-liners"


When someone is struggling to drive a spike missing it more than they hit it.

You're like lightning cause you never strike in the same place twice.
schaefercs is offline  
Old 03-10-2013, 02:04 PM   #156
Pro
 
JesseCocozza's Avatar
 
Trade: Carpentry
Join Date: Aug 2011
Location: Sarasota, FL
Posts: 865
Rewards Points: 810

Re: Jobsite "one-liners"


Quote:
Originally Posted by NINZAN STUDIO
This is irritating. A few guys I've worked with will pronounce caulk with an emphasized "L", in order to avoid saying "cock" which always lead to one liners. Just plain stupid...it's caulk like cock. Right!??
That's why we call it jimmy...
JesseCocozza is offline  
Old 03-10-2013, 02:07 PM   #157
Builder of Stuff
 
Young_Buck's Avatar
 
Trade: Carpentry
Join Date: Jul 2009
Location: Huntington, Vermont
Posts: 362
Rewards Points: 288

Re: Jobsite "one-liners"


Safety kills!

Safety Fourth!

Call OSHA and save me from myself!
Young_Buck is offline  
Old 03-10-2013, 02:22 PM   #158
Pro
 
painterman's Avatar
 
Trade: Historic Restorations
Join Date: Feb 2005
Posts: 370
Rewards Points: 288

Re: Jobsite "one-liners"


for the site loud mouth...His mouth is like a clutch...every time he opens it he disengages his brain
painterman is offline  
Old 03-10-2013, 02:30 PM   #159
Pro
 
donerightwyo's Avatar
 
Trade: custom builder
Join Date: Oct 2011
Posts: 2,816
Rewards Points: 346

Re: Jobsite "one-liners"


When in doubt, scrap out.
__________________
I can't compete with hacks.
donerightwyo is online now  
The Following User Says Thank You to donerightwyo For This Useful Post:
tenon0774 (03-10-2013)
Old 03-10-2013, 02:46 PM   #160
Pro
 
JesseCocozza's Avatar
 
Trade: Carpentry
Join Date: Aug 2011
Location: Sarasota, FL
Posts: 865
Rewards Points: 810

Re: Jobsite "one-liners"


"Tighter than a fish's a--"

"I'm so hungry I could eat the north end of a southbound skunk."

"He has anal glaucoma. He can't see his a-- making it to work today."

When someone drops my tools, "don't worry they give those away free at the depot."

Advertisement

JesseCocozza is offline  


Thread Tools Search this Thread
Search this Thread:

Advanced Search
Display Modes Rate This Thread
Rate This Thread:

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are Off
Pingbacks are Off
Refbacks are Off


Similar Threads
Thread Thread Starter Forum Replies Last Post
Non union jobsite (quaker church)vandalized in philadelphia $500,000 Damage mastersplinter Carpentry 41 04-19-2013 01:06 AM
Get off my jobsite. BIG_JER New Member Introductions 14 06-14-2012 10:22 PM
Jobsite Etiquette for Beginners Seven-Delta-FortyOne General Discussion 51 12-25-2011 11:55 AM
Homeowners on Jobsite philco Business 16 05-05-2009 05:00 AM
Jobsite rules bwalley General Discussion 80 01-29-2009 07:09 PM

Join Now... It's Fast and FREE!

I am a professional contractor
I am a DIY Homeowner
Drywall Talk is for
PROFESSIONAL CONTRACTORS ONLY!

At DrywallTalk.com we cater exlusivly to professional contractors who make their living as a contractor. Knowing that many homeowners and DIYers are looking for a community to call home, we've created www.DIYChatroom.com DIY Chatroom is full of helpful advices and perfect for DIY homeowners.

Redirecing in 10 seconds
No Thanks
terms of service

Already Have an Account?