Jobsite "one-liners" - Page 20 - Off Topic (Non Trade) - Contractor Talk

Jobsite "one-liners"

 
Thread Tools Search this Thread Display Modes
Old 03-31-2013, 02:37 PM   #381
Pro
 
CarpenterSFO's Avatar
 
Trade: GC
Join Date: Dec 2012
Location: CA
Posts: 7,076
Rewards Points: 2,044

Re: Jobsite "one-liners"


Quote:
Originally Posted by MKnAs Dad View Post
Dropping some coins or swiping a card works as well
Coins, yeah, but swiping a card might get you a pipe wrench across the shins.
__________________
- Bob
CarpenterSFO is offline  

Warning: The topics covered on this site include activities in which there exists the potential for serious injury or death. ContractorTalk.com DOES NOT guarantee the accuracy or completeness of any information contained on this site. Always use proper safety precaution and reference reliable outside sources before attempting any construction or remodeling task!

   

Advertisement

 

Old 03-31-2013, 05:33 PM   #382
Pro
 
donerightwyo's Avatar
 
Trade: custom builder
Join Date: Oct 2011
Posts: 2,857
Rewards Points: 100

Re: Jobsite "one-liners"


Quote:
Originally Posted by MKnAs Dad View Post
Dropping some coins or swiping a card works as well
We call it a "pencil holder".
__________________
I can't compete with hacks.
donerightwyo is offline  
Old 03-31-2013, 07:05 PM   #383
Superior Firepower
 
skyhook's Avatar
 
Trade: GC HVAC/R Lic. since 1985
Join Date: Mar 2007
Location: 3,077' above sea level
Posts: 5,089
Rewards Points: 3,880

Re: Jobsite "one-liners"


Can't make stew without stirring the pot. FIL

All I want to see is a**holes and elbows.

Stop to pick up a nail and you're fired.

Last edited by skyhook; 03-31-2013 at 09:28 PM.
skyhook is offline  
Sponsored Links
Advertisement
 
Old 03-31-2013, 11:53 PM   #384
Particulate Filter
 
Metro M & L's Avatar
 
Trade: Flooring
Join Date: Jun 2009
Location: Portland, OR
Posts: 4,430
Rewards Points: 1,484

Re: Jobsite "one-liners"


We were all saying "its not my first rodeo" when we came up with a solution. now we just say "rodeo dude rodeo."

Whenever some one hurts themself around me i just say"dont do that, it hurts." makes me laugh anyway.
__________________
"A smart man learns from his mistakes; a wise man learns from the mistakes of others."

www.portlandhardwoodrefinishing.com
Metro M & L is offline  
Old 04-01-2013, 08:27 AM   #385
New Guy
 
disenchantedsub's Avatar
 
Trade: carpentry
Join Date: Jul 2012
Location: MA
Posts: 26
Rewards Points: 14

Re: Jobsite "one-liners"


When doing something awkward, " this is more awkward than an eighth grade dance!"
disenchantedsub is offline  
The Following User Says Thank You to disenchantedsub For This Useful Post:
skyhook (04-01-2013)
Old 04-01-2013, 01:08 PM   #386
Pro
 
donerightwyo's Avatar
 
Trade: custom builder
Join Date: Oct 2011
Posts: 2,857
Rewards Points: 100

Re: Jobsite "one-liners"


There's gotta be an easier way to make a living
__________________
I can't compete with hacks.
donerightwyo is offline  
Old 04-01-2013, 01:30 PM   #387
Nail-Bender
 
Brutus's Avatar
 
Trade: Carpenter
Join Date: May 2007
Location: Halifax, NS, Canada
Posts: 4,604
Rewards Points: 2,020

Re: Jobsite "one-liners"


Quote:
Originally Posted by skyhook View Post

All I want to see is a**holes and elbows.

Larry Haun
__________________
Quote:
Originally Posted by 2ndGen
If you haven't bled while working once in your life, you haven't worked!
Brutus is offline  
Old 04-01-2013, 01:43 PM   #388
Pro
 
Dirtywhiteboy's Avatar
 
Trade: Home Framing- Roof Stacking
Join Date: Oct 2010
Location: Honolulu Oahu,Hawaii
Posts: 16,204
Rewards Points: 13,598

Re: Jobsite "one-liners"


Quote:
Originally Posted by Brutus View Post
Larry Haun
Dose TnT frame
__________________
I Have Done So Much With So Little For So Long, I Can Do Almost Anything With Nothing Now
Dirtywhiteboy is offline  
Old 04-01-2013, 10:45 PM   #389
Superior Firepower
 
skyhook's Avatar
 
Trade: GC HVAC/R Lic. since 1985
Join Date: Mar 2007
Location: 3,077' above sea level
Posts: 5,089
Rewards Points: 3,880

Re: Jobsite "one-liners"


Don't mind if I douche.
skyhook is offline  
Old 04-01-2013, 10:52 PM   #390
Pro
 
tenon0774's Avatar
 
Trade: Remodeling Carpenter
Join Date: Feb 2013
Location: Pittsburgh, PA
Posts: 2,138
Rewards Points: 2,270

Re: Jobsite "one-liners"


Quote:
Originally Posted by donerightwyo View Post
There's gotta be an easier way to make a living
"Who does this?"
__________________
-Scott
tenon0774 is offline  
The Following 2 Users Say Thank You to tenon0774 For This Useful Post:
donerightwyo (04-02-2013), Jaws (04-08-2013)
Old 04-01-2013, 11:11 PM   #391
Pro
 
CarpenterSFO's Avatar
 
Trade: GC
Join Date: Dec 2012
Location: CA
Posts: 7,076
Rewards Points: 2,044

Re: Jobsite "one-liners"


When you're trying to figure out what to do with a minor screw-up: Measure to cut, pound to fit, paint to hide.
__________________
- Bob
CarpenterSFO is offline  
Old 04-01-2013, 11:20 PM   #392
Pro
 
tenon0774's Avatar
 
Trade: Remodeling Carpenter
Join Date: Feb 2013
Location: Pittsburgh, PA
Posts: 2,138
Rewards Points: 2,270

Re: Jobsite "one-liners"


Quote:
Originally Posted by CarpenterSFO View Post
When you're trying to figure out what to do with a minor screw-up: Measure to cut, pound to fit, paint to hide.
"Yeah, yeah... OH YEAH! "
__________________
-Scott
tenon0774 is offline  
Old 04-02-2013, 01:55 PM   #393
Pro
 
MTN REMODEL LLC's Avatar
 
Trade: Remodel and new build Colorado @ 7651 FT
Join Date: Sep 2010
Posts: 2,193
Rewards Points: 1,428

Re: Jobsite "one-liners"


To/about a slow paying customer..... I've been carrying you longer than your mother
MTN REMODEL LLC is offline  
Old 04-02-2013, 02:00 PM   #394
Maxi-Pier Tech
 
essrmo's Avatar
 
Trade: foundation specialist
Join Date: May 2007
Location: Riverside, Ca.
Posts: 570
Rewards Points: 810

Re: Jobsite "one-liners"


I've done enough damage for one day.
__________________
we're not in Kansas anymore Toto
essrmo is offline  
Old 04-02-2013, 02:03 PM   #395
Pro
 
MTN REMODEL LLC's Avatar
 
Trade: Remodel and new build Colorado @ 7651 FT
Join Date: Sep 2010
Posts: 2,193
Rewards Points: 1,428

Re: Jobsite "one-liners"


I'd loan you the money... but I've got everything tied up in cash.
MTN REMODEL LLC is offline  
The Following 2 Users Say Thank You to MTN REMODEL LLC For This Useful Post:
dom-mas (04-02-2013), Metro M & L (04-06-2013)
Old 04-02-2013, 02:38 PM   #396
Fairly new guy
 
Foxit's Avatar
 
Trade: General contractor
Join Date: Mar 2013
Location: Lancaster PA (Steeler Nation)
Posts: 108
Rewards Points: 105

Re: Jobsite "one-liners"


I wonder if my wife would baby sit my girlfriends kids?
Foxit is offline  
Old 04-03-2013, 11:34 PM   #397
Pro
 
wyoming 1's Avatar
 
Trade: General contractor
Join Date: May 2008
Location: Carbon county Wyoming
Posts: 559
Rewards Points: 520

Re: Jobsite "one-liners"


He's so slow it takes him and hour and a half to watch 60 min.

I tell this one to one of my ultra wealthy customers when he he thinks I'm charging to much "you can sheer a sheep many times but only skin him once"
wyoming 1 is offline  
Old 04-04-2013, 12:17 AM   #398
New Guy
 
ABD Promotions's Avatar
 
Trade: Service Provider
Join Date: Apr 2013
Location: San Jose, California
Posts: 16
Rewards Points: 10

Re: Jobsite "one-liners"


A sod layer to his apprentice:
GREEN SIDE UP!
ABD Promotions is offline  
Old 04-04-2013, 01:48 AM   #399
Goin' Down in Flames....
 
Seven-Delta-FortyOne's Avatar
 
Trade: Highwayman
Join Date: Mar 2011
Location: Somewhere Between Heaven And Hell
Posts: 4,429
Rewards Points: 1,252

Re: Jobsite "one-liners"


Beat it to fit, Paint it to match.

It's like tryin' to shove a wet noodle up a wild cat's ass.

He doesn't know enough to pour piss out of a boot.

$#!t in one hand and wish in the other, see which one fills up faster.

Goofier than a wooden watch.

That's more f...ked up than goldfish in a blender.
Seven-Delta-FortyOne is offline  
The Following User Says Thank You to Seven-Delta-FortyOne For This Useful Post:
Jaws (04-08-2013)
Old 04-06-2013, 12:32 PM   #400
Pro
 
MTN REMODEL LLC's Avatar
 
Trade: Remodel and new build Colorado @ 7651 FT
Join Date: Sep 2010
Posts: 2,193
Rewards Points: 1,428

Re: Jobsite "one-liners"


Had a fella call in one day... and he had one of those honest personalities that you just can't get mad at:

"Boss... I just feel too good to come into work today."

Advertisement

__________________
Never stop learning (xcep fer speling en typeing)
MTN REMODEL LLC is offline  
The Following User Says Thank You to MTN REMODEL LLC For This Useful Post:
Dirtywhiteboy (04-06-2013)


Thread Tools Search this Thread
Search this Thread:

Advanced Search
Display Modes Rate This Thread
Rate This Thread:

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are Off
Pingbacks are Off
Refbacks are Off


Similar Threads
Thread Thread Starter Forum Replies Last Post
Non union jobsite (quaker church)vandalized in philadelphia $500,000 Damage mastersplinter Carpentry 41 04-19-2013 01:06 AM
Get off my jobsite. BIG_JER New Member Introductions 14 06-14-2012 10:22 PM
Jobsite Etiquette for Beginners Seven-Delta-FortyOne General Discussion 51 12-25-2011 11:55 AM
Homeowners on Jobsite philco Business 16 05-05-2009 05:00 AM
Jobsite rules bwalley General Discussion 80 01-29-2009 07:09 PM

Join Now... It's Fast and FREE!

I am a professional contractor
I am a DIY Homeowner
Drywall Talk is for
PROFESSIONAL CONTRACTORS ONLY!

At DrywallTalk.com we cater exlusivly to professional contractors who make their living as a contractor. Knowing that many homeowners and DIYers are looking for a community to call home, we've created www.DIYChatroom.com DIY Chatroom is full of helpful advices and perfect for DIY homeowners.

Redirecing in 10 seconds
No Thanks
terms of service

Already Have an Account?