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Hard Day Yesterday

 
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Old 02-20-2014, 10:02 AM   #1
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Hard Day Yesterday


One of my best friends lost their daughter to cancer. A gorgeous 20 something. What do you say to someone when this happens? It seems so unfair to put so much energy and love in to a child only to lose them early.
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Old 02-20-2014, 11:05 AM   #2
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Re: Hard Day Yesterday


Nothing you can say.
I would just say that you're extremely sorry and if he needs anything you got his back.

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Old 02-20-2014, 11:20 AM   #3
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Re: Hard Day Yesterday


I always skip the "I'm so sorry for your loss" stuff and show them I'm there for them when they need me. That doesn't mean bring them a cold cut tray this week and move on. It's years of being there, that's a true friend.
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Old 02-20-2014, 11:27 AM   #4
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Re: Hard Day Yesterday


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I always skip the "I'm so sorry for your loss" stuff and show them I'm there for them when they need me. That doesn't mean bring them a cold cut tray this week and move on. It's years of being there, that's a true friend.
Most don't want to hear the old bs of "anything you want I'm here" no more than they want the same "sorry for your loss" actions speak louder than words and a cold cut tray isn't a bad start.
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Old 02-20-2014, 11:49 AM   #5
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Re: Hard Day Yesterday


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Originally Posted by Inner10
Most don't want to hear the old bs of "anything you want I'm here" no more than they want the same "sorry for your loss" actions speak louder than words and a cold cut tray isn't a bad start.
I'm pretty sure you miss understood everything I was saying.
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Old 02-20-2014, 12:29 PM   #6
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Re: Hard Day Yesterday


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I'm pretty sure you miss understood everything I was saying.
Pretty sure I agreed with you.
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Old 02-20-2014, 02:10 PM   #7
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Re: Hard Day Yesterday


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Pretty sure I agreed with you.
Oh then I was the one misunderstanding
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Old 02-20-2014, 05:22 PM   #8
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Re: Hard Day Yesterday


Thank you guys.
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Old 02-20-2014, 05:41 PM   #9
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Re: Hard Day Yesterday


It isn't supposed to happen that way - parents aren't supposed to outlive their children, especially one so young.

All you can do is say you're sorry, and try not to bring up anything with other people around - she's going to have a hard time keeping it together. I've known people that did their shopping in a different town where nobody knew them so they wouldn't run into people they knew in public and have to talk about it. If she's married, perhaps the two of them can handle being out shopping together. If she's single, she may need someone to go with her to divert people who come up to her. Whatever you can do to help.

FWIW, it's fairly common that people in extreme grief can't really taste food for some time. It's a pretty clear sign of how badly they're feeling.
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Old 02-20-2014, 05:46 PM   #10
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Re: Hard Day Yesterday


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Thank you guys.
Anyone with kids has to feel for your friend; I'd give anything not to be in her shoes
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Old 02-20-2014, 06:06 PM   #11
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Re: Hard Day Yesterday


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Anyone with kids has to feel for your friend; I'd give anything not to be in her shoes
Yeah, both parents shoes. We put on this fundraiser at a local brewery a few months back. Their daughter was there and she looked pretty vibrant talking and laughing with folks.

She might have been putting on her strongest, bravest face to keep cheery for the "party" that was going on in honor of her. You know, keep that money flowing in so her parents aren't stuck with a huge medical bill. Can you imagine having to do that while being the one that is sick?

Anyway, we all left that night with so much hope that she might kick it, but sadly, the cancer got her. Her parents are crushed. Makes you want to hug your own kids extra tight you know?
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Old 02-20-2014, 06:24 PM   #12
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Re: Hard Day Yesterday


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FWIW, it's fairly common that people in extreme grief can't really taste food for some time. It's a pretty clear sign of how badly they're feeling.
I never heard that before. Damn, if life wasn't hard enough. You can't even get a little joy from the taste of food while grieving.
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Old 02-20-2014, 07:30 PM   #13
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Re: Hard Day Yesterday


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She might have been putting on her strongest, bravest face to keep cheery for the "party" that was going on in honor of her.
It's not uncommon at all for the one who's ill to be stronger than all the friends and relatives. Odd how that works.

We recently lost a good neighbor to cancer. 30-odd, two kids, a health nut and marathon runner. Hubby seems to be holding up pretty well, but it's a shocker.
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Old 02-20-2014, 07:32 PM   #14
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Re: Hard Day Yesterday


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One of my best friends lost their daughter to cancer. A gorgeous 20 something. What do you say to someone when this happens? It seems so unfair to put so much energy and love in to a child only to lose them early.
The only thing you could say is God had a special pair of wings and she was the only one who could fill them.

Sad.....
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Old 02-20-2014, 07:41 PM   #15
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Re: Hard Day Yesterday


My best friend died at 21 and I had to be there right when his parents found out... Can't say or even do anything except pray, and I thought God was a joke then.

Listen, if you want to do anything, your words will be cheap for some time, so just listen and pray.
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Old 02-20-2014, 08:21 PM   #16
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Re: Hard Day Yesterday


I lost my younger bro many years back. Make sure you are there for them for all the b days and anniversaries. I can count on one hand the people who are still there for my parents. After a couple of months people disappear. Just be there as much as you can, now and for the long haul.
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Old 02-20-2014, 08:40 PM   #17
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Re: Hard Day Yesterday


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I lost my younger bro many years back. Make sure you are there for them for all the b days and anniversaries. I can count on one hand the people who are still there for my parents. After a couple of months people disappear. Just be there as much as you can, now and for the long haul.

I lost a friend in high school. He would always make his mom make pie on March 14th ( pi day)

So every year since I've brought them a pie, but i took it up a notch and make it square because on pi day, pi r square
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Old 02-20-2014, 08:51 PM   #18
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Re: Hard Day Yesterday


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( pi day)

So every year since I've brought them a pie, but i took it up a notch and make it square because on pi day, pi r square
Ha! That's good.
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Old 02-20-2014, 09:47 PM   #19
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Re: Hard Day Yesterday


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I lost a friend in high school. He would always make his mom make pie on March 14th ( pi day)

So every year since I've brought them a pie, but i took it up a notch and make it square because on pi day, pi r square
I didn't know there was a pi day, but next year's should be special: 3.14.15, but I'm not sure I want to start a party at 9:56 AM.
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Old 02-20-2014, 09:49 PM   #20
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Re: Hard Day Yesterday


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Originally Posted by hdavis
I didn't know there was a pi day, but next year's should be special: 3.14.15, but I'm not sure I want to start a party at 9:56 AM.
That's too good.

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