Dear Lyft Driver - Off Topic (Non Trade) - Contractor Talk

Dear Lyft Driver

 
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Old 11-06-2018, 07:28 AM   #1
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Dear Lyft Driver


Dear Lyft Driver:

You picked up a sobbing man on Sunday morning at 5:15 a.m. He managed to mumble ďItís my nieceĒ or some such thing as he instinctively covered his face in the Tennessee darkness while tossing his luggage into your trunk. He did a fair job of stifling his tears and composing himself in your back seat although a flat out wail for a bit may have been a quicker and better release.

He had traveled from his home in Sarasota, Florida, to see his theater-geek niece Valerie play Titania in a local production of Shakespeareís A Midsummer Nightís Dream. His flight from Tampa to his layover in Chantilly, Virginia, was diverted to Richmond due to the weather closing Dulles International Airport. After the EMTís removed a panic attack victim from the plane, the airline announced that because the Richmond airport was so small, that 10 other planes also needed refueling, and that it took 40 minutes to refuel each plane, any other passengers that wanted to leave may do so. Considering his fear of being trapped on a plane and his claustrophobia, it was an easy decision to join 3 seatmates in a plan to ride share the two-hour drive to Dulles. 40 bucks apiece including tip.

While in the car, he got a text from the airline. He would miss his delayed flight to Nashville. He phoned Mariott reservations and got a room, but when he got to the hotel, they were booked up and he had foolishly told the reservation agent he didnít need an email confirmation. Another ride share and another Mariott and he had a room for the night. Another phone call and he had a flight to Nashville at 5:00 p.m. the next day, arriving at 6, the play starting at 7:30. His head hit his pillow at 1:30 a.m.

In the morning, the Mariott shuttled him the quarter mile to the local mall where he walked and watched the children play in the play area. That always makes him smile. His plans for a day in Nashville ruined, he found the forced time-killing to be surprisingly relaxing and needed. He got to the airport early.

His plane touched down at 7 p.m., not at 6 as promised. Heís going to miss the first half of the show. He decides to not tell his niece he didnít see the whole thing, but then overhears the guys behind him speaking about the time zone change they just flew over and that their cellphones hadnít calculated yet. It is 6. He will make the show on time. His relief is palpable. The woman at the will-call tickets stashed his luggage under her desk when he arrived at 7:38 p.m. His ass hit his seat and the curtain opened.

Tatiana owns the stage at her entrance. Stage presence has never been a weakness of Valerieís. Her voice is strong; her articulation flawless. She moves with a graceful confidence. He is about to explode with pride and can barely contain himself to his seat.

At a late dinner that evening, he sat next to her, her boyfriend Sam opposite. Sam was reluctantly recruited to play Snug and did a fine job for a beginner. Valerie is still wearing her exotic Tatiana makeup, but has lost Tatianaís very low-cut are-those-things-gonna-pop-out-of there costume. With the exception of Sam, they have a few too many drinks, he tells her he loves her, and chokes up in the restaurant. He loves her too Sam; you have to share and he was first.

He spent the night at their place in the spare bedroom. Guessing which one it is, he tapped on their bedroom door at 5 a.m. They both got up long enough to say goodbye. Valerie drove him and his luggage to the front of the apartment complex to wait for the Lyft driver. They had a serious private catching-up conversation with the heater blasting away the cool morning. Standing in a final embrace as the driver turned in, but itís more than he can take. All the struggle to get there, the great performance, and the brevity is just too much. He canít stop the wounds to his guts and they spill like his tears to the asphalt.
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Old 11-06-2018, 08:23 AM   #2
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Re: Dear Lyft Driver


oh look more crap

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Old 11-06-2018, 09:18 AM   #3
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Re: Dear Lyft Driver


Dear customer from Sarasota,

It's ok. I've pretty much seen it all by now, especially the early morning rides.

Lyft Driver

Last edited by MarkJames; 11-06-2018 at 09:33 AM.
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Old 11-06-2018, 09:58 AM   #4
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Re: Dear Lyft Driver


Lyft driver thinks to himself, 'at least he didn't puke in the car'...............
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Old 11-06-2018, 10:01 AM   #5
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Re: Dear Lyft Driver


Quote:
He canít stop the wounds to his guts and they spill like his tears to the asphalt.
You threw up?
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Old 11-06-2018, 10:31 AM   #6
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Re: Dear Lyft Driver


Looks like you sent it to the wrong place.

Should have gone to the director of one of the day time soap operas or the editor of one of the bird cage liners sold at supermarket checkouts.....

But to a bunch of construction guys....wtf
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Old 11-06-2018, 01:03 PM   #7
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Re: Dear Lyft Driver


I was able to make it through the first paragraph. If you send me a hundred bucks, I'll consider reading the rest.
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Old 11-06-2018, 01:09 PM   #8
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Re: Dear Lyft Driver


What, nobody bedded down in this story?

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Old 11-06-2018, 06:04 PM   #9
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Re: Dear Lyft Driver


In the rated R version the main character has incestuous relations with his niece, but he didn't want to get the thread deleted again.
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Old 11-06-2018, 06:12 PM   #10
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Re: Dear Lyft Driver


Way too many words on airline time and such. Got boring quick.
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Last edited by Robie; 11-06-2018 at 06:14 PM.
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Old 11-06-2018, 06:22 PM   #11
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Re: Dear Lyft Driver


Dear idiot: This is a contractor's forum. Get your crap outta here.

Its not even fkn mediocre.
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Old 11-06-2018, 06:43 PM   #12
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Re: Dear Lyft Driver


The more things change....the more they stay the same
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Old 11-06-2018, 10:49 PM   #13
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Re: Dear Lyft Driver


Quote:
Originally Posted by SmallTownGuy View Post
Dear idiot: This is a contractor's forum. Get your crap outta here.

Its not even fkn mediocre.
Small Town Guy:

Kiss my ass, please. This is the off-topic forum. If you don't like it, don't read it.

And while you're at it, please study the Terms of Service of the forums on which you participate. You aren't allowed to call someone an "idiot" here.

Oh, unless it's me. Then the mods ignore their own rules.
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Old 11-06-2018, 11:57 PM   #14
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Re: Dear Lyft Driver


Kowboy,


Interesting read. Somewhat anticlimactic, I was glad to hear niece was okay and sobs were due to emotions as opposed to misfortune.


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Old 11-07-2018, 12:19 AM   #15
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Re: Dear Lyft Driver


Quote:
Small Town Guy:

Kiss my ass, please. This is the off-topic forum. If you don't like it, don't read it.

And while you're at it, please study the Terms of Service of the forums on which you participate. You aren't allowed to call someone an "idiot" here.

Oh, unless it's me. Then the mods ignore their own rules.
I'm writing my own short story.

If you feel my description of a stupid, desperate, narcissistic, possibly sociopathic real estate novelist character closely resembles you - I assure you it is pure coincidence.

Now, as far as the sordid sexual perversion you just demanded me to perform, I'm sure the site has some standards regarding that.
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Last edited by SmallTownGuy; 11-07-2018 at 12:27 AM.
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Old 11-07-2018, 12:54 AM   #16
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Re: Dear Lyft Driver


Kowboy,
Rough crowd here. But that's why you're here with these stories.
If you can make this bunch enjoy it ,
it should fly in class.

BTW, you've done better.
Just my .02Ę
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Old 11-07-2018, 06:56 AM   #17
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Re: Dear Lyft Driver


Quote:
Originally Posted by Mordekyle View Post
Kowboy,


Interesting read. Somewhat anticlimactic, I was glad to hear niece was okay and sobs were due to emotions as opposed to misfortune.


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Yeah, thought I was going to read a plane crashed into their house and wiped everybody out.
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Old 11-07-2018, 07:59 AM   #18
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Re: Dear Lyft Driver


Anyone got the short version? Someone bottom line this thing for me.
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Old 11-07-2018, 08:05 AM   #19
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Re: Dear Lyft Driver


Quote:
Originally Posted by Deckhead View Post
Anyone got the short version? Someone bottom line this thing for me.
Someone needs to redo it as a Haiku.

Hellacious trip.
Stage, niece, youth, wonder.
Weep tipsy cab self.
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Old 11-07-2018, 08:08 AM   #20
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Re: Dear Lyft Driver


Quote:
Originally Posted by MarkJames View Post
Someone needs to redo it as a Haiku.

Hellacious trip.
Stage, niece, youth, wonder.
Weep tipsy cab self.
Nice. Tells a bit of a story.

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