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Any Man Can Be A Father But It Takes Someone Special To Be A Daddy

 
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Old 05-28-2019, 10:43 AM   #1
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Any Man Can Be A Father But It Takes Someone Special To Be A Daddy



What does it mean to YOU to be a father? What is the best thing about fatherhood?

This last December my daddy died. (Yes, I have always called him "daddy".) I am not ashamed to admit that it brought me to my knees. I was beyond devastated. It was one of the most difficult times I have ever faced. With Fathers Day approaching, (June 16th) I decided that instead of falling back into the abyss, I want to celebrate dads and remember the joy he brought into my life.

What are your best memories of your father while you were growing up?

I firmly believe the following quote, so biology isn't part of this. If you're raising kids (or raised kids) you're a father.
Quote:
"Any man can be a father, but it takes someone special to be a Daddy".
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Old 05-28-2019, 10:51 AM   #2
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Re: Any Man Can Be A Father But It Takes Someone Special To Be A Daddy


It's the most rewarding job in the world. Also the hardest.

I never really grew up until I had my kids. Everything I thought was important really wasn't. These two people are completely reliant on me to teach them how to better the world and it's an awesome sense of responsibility.

"You teach your son how to be a man... you teach you're daughter how to be appreciated by a man."

The only job that is even close to important is being a husband. A little girl has a shortcut to her Daddys heart... I wouldn't change a thing about it.

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Old 05-28-2019, 12:38 PM   #3
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Re: Any Man Can Be A Father But It Takes Someone Special To Be A Daddy


To me, it was all about raising kids to be well adjusted adults. The most fun was watching them suddenly 'get it' after trying for awhile, plus the uniqueness of the individual kids.

Rather than a single memory, the thing that really stuck out about my father no matter what it was, he never gave up, and he was staggeringly observant.
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Old 05-28-2019, 01:11 PM   #4
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Re: Any Man Can Be A Father But It Takes Someone Special To Be A Daddy


I wrote this back in early 2008, so the age at the end is incorrect. The minister read this at my daddy's funeral.

When I was born, my father told his friends I was the ugliest baby he had ever seen, and that I sounded just like a cricket. I think that must have been the moment that I became my Daddy’s little princess.

As a little girl, I remember seeing my daddy sitting at the kitchen counter, drinking his first cup of coffee every morning. Because of a broken finger that never quite healed right, every time he took a drink, his pinky finger would stick up a little bit.

When I grew up, I wanted to be just like him.

By the time I was 10 years old, I was drinking coffee during the summers at my uncle Charley’s dairy farm. Back then I needed a ton of sugar and cream to drink the stuff. Nowadays I use just a little cream, and I sweeten it with the fake stuff, but to this very day, my pinky sticks up a little, every time I take a drink of my coffee.

We have always shared a love of various farm animals. Well, except for that mean old goose that used to chase me around the yard hissing at me, and nipping me in the butt when I tried to run away.

One day I saw the goose trying to do the same thing to my daddy. He turned around and stomped his foot. Then he got right in the goose’s face and said “git on out a here now”.

I thought he was teaching me how to stand up to an old goose, but what he taught me was not to run from things, to stand up and face my fears head on. It took me many years to finally learn that lesson.

I cannot begin to count how many runts I thought I could save over the years. I had a weakness for piglets that were too small to survive with the litter. He would help me sneak them past my mama, and into the house. I would set my alarm to feed them every couple of hours.

He did this, even knowing that I could not save them all, knowing that some would die, and he would have to pick up the pieces of my broken heart, but he was teaching me not to be afraid to take a risk, to have the courage to try even when all the odds were against me.

I started working at the restaurant with my daddy, in my early teens. There were times that I thought he was tougher on me than the employees. He was tough, and he expected nothing less than the best. It was many years before I realized he was teaching me good work ethics and that anything worth doing, was worth doing well.

Growing up, one of my biggest fears in life was disappointing my daddy because I could not bear to see that look in his eyes.

When I was a senior in high school some friends and I snuck out of the house to go to a party. Before that night, I had never drunk a single drop of alcohol but apparently I was making up for lost time because before I knew it, it was noon the next day.

It was time to face my daddy.

Seeing that look in his eyes was way worse than the butt whooping I got. To top it off, he still made me go to work, sicker than a dog, and praying to the porcelain god. That was one lesson in life that I learned very quickly, because I remembered it every single day of the 30 days I spent grounded afterwards.

During that same year, it was my daddy who took me for a long walk up the hill to quietly tell me that my very best friend, Ronnie Winston, had died at the age of 17. Looking up into my daddy’s eyes, I could see his heart breaking for me as he tried to explain that there are some things in life that not even daddy can fix.

It was then that I first began to truly understand the serenity prayer, to accept the things I cannot change, to have the courage to change the things I can, and above all, to have wisdom to know the difference.

It has been 46 years since I became my daddy’s little princess, and you know what? I grew up to be just like him.

I love you daddy.

- Cricket
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Old 05-28-2019, 03:48 PM   #5
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Re: Any Man Can Be A Father But It Takes Someone Special To Be A Daddy


Quote:
Originally Posted by Cricket View Post
I wrote this back in early 2008, so the age at the end is incorrect. The minister read this at my daddy's funeral.

When I was born, my father told his friends I was the ugliest baby he had ever seen, and that I sounded just like a cricket. I think that must have been the moment that I became my Daddy’s little princess.

As a little girl, I remember seeing my daddy sitting at the kitchen counter, drinking his first cup of coffee every morning. Because of a broken finger that never quite healed right, every time he took a drink, his pinky finger would stick up a little bit.

When I grew up, I wanted to be just like him.

By the time I was 10 years old, I was drinking coffee during the summers at my uncle Charley’s dairy farm. Back then I needed a ton of sugar and cream to drink the stuff. Nowadays I use just a little cream, and I sweeten it with the fake stuff, but to this very day, my pinky sticks up a little, every time I take a drink of my coffee.

We have always shared a love of various farm animals. Well, except for that mean old goose that used to chase me around the yard hissing at me, and nipping me in the butt when I tried to run away.

One day I saw the goose trying to do the same thing to my daddy. He turned around and stomped his foot. Then he got right in the goose’s face and said “git on out a here now”.

I thought he was teaching me how to stand up to an old goose, but what he taught me was not to run from things, to stand up and face my fears head on. It took me many years to finally learn that lesson.

I cannot begin to count how many runts I thought I could save over the years. I had a weakness for piglets that were too small to survive with the litter. He would help me sneak them past my mama, and into the house. I would set my alarm to feed them every couple of hours.

He did this, even knowing that I could not save them all, knowing that some would die, and he would have to pick up the pieces of my broken heart, but he was teaching me not to be afraid to take a risk, to have the courage to try even when all the odds were against me.

I started working at the restaurant with my daddy, in my early teens. There were times that I thought he was tougher on me than the employees. He was tough, and he expected nothing less than the best. It was many years before I realized he was teaching me good work ethics and that anything worth doing, was worth doing well.

Growing up, one of my biggest fears in life was disappointing my daddy because I could not bear to see that look in his eyes.

When I was a senior in high school some friends and I snuck out of the house to go to a party. Before that night, I had never drunk a single drop of alcohol but apparently I was making up for lost time because before I knew it, it was noon the next day.

It was time to face my daddy.

Seeing that look in his eyes was way worse than the butt whooping I got. To top it off, he still made me go to work, sicker than a dog, and praying to the porcelain god. That was one lesson in life that I learned very quickly, because I remembered it every single day of the 30 days I spent grounded afterwards.

During that same year, it was my daddy who took me for a long walk up the hill to quietly tell me that my very best friend, Ronnie Winston, had died at the age of 17. Looking up into my daddy’s eyes, I could see his heart breaking for me as he tried to explain that there are some things in life that not even daddy can fix.

It was then that I first began to truly understand the serenity prayer, to accept the things I cannot change, to have the courage to change the things I can, and above all, to have wisdom to know the difference.

It has been 46 years since I became my daddy’s little princess, and you know what? I grew up to be just like him.

I love you daddy.

- Cricket
If my kids grow up to say something like this about me, than mission accomplished. Great read right there.

All other accomplishments in life would be secondary. Your Old Man sounded like one helluva a guy. I'm sure he knew he was one when he looked at you. Thanks for sharing.

Without my kids and wife... I'd feel empty. Great reminder that Fathers day isn't always about accepting the accolades but what to strive for.
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Old 05-28-2019, 04:22 PM   #6
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Re: Any Man Can Be A Father But It Takes Someone Special To Be A Daddy


Wow, I love that story. I hope that my girls feel the same way about me. One is moving out of state the week after fathers day, so that is gonna be tough.
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Old 05-28-2019, 04:29 PM   #7
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Re: Any Man Can Be A Father But It Takes Someone Special To Be A Daddy


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Originally Posted by Warren View Post
Wow, I love that story. I hope that my girls feel the same way about me. One is moving out of state the week after fathers day, so that is gonna be tough.
If I could be even half the human being my daddy was, I would feel like I had done something good in my life.
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Old 05-28-2019, 04:33 PM   #8
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Re: Any Man Can Be A Father But It Takes Someone Special To Be A Daddy


Quote:
Originally Posted by Warren View Post
Wow, I love that story. I hope that my girls feel the same way about me. One is moving out of state the week after fathers day, so that is gonna be tough.
Godspeed my friend. My boy is 8 and daughter is 6. I'm starting to realize how quick it actually happens.
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Old 05-28-2019, 10:43 PM   #9
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Re: Any Man Can Be A Father But It Takes Someone Special To Be A Daddy


My job as a parent was to make sure my kids could handle life without my wife and I. I'm very pleased at how well they adapted to adulthood. My jobs not complete but I'm ready for the next phase of life, that being grandkids. Can't wait to be the spoiler I've always wanted to be with my kids. I think I've earned spoiler status.

Always remember kids learn by what they see more than what you tell them. When I got married my wife and I had a session with a minister. He looked at me and said, "see this young lady, you treat her well, if you ever have a son he will grow up and treat his wife the way he saw his father treat his mother".

My wife deserves a ton of the credit. She sat for hours teaching my kids how to learn on their own. It was a bit in her wheelhouse, I let her run with that ball. That may have been the single most important thing they've learned.

The other thing that I believe was huge, was sports and color guard. Both kids stayed busy learning what it meant to work as a team. How to win and just as importantly how to lose......my .02



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Old 05-29-2019, 12:50 AM   #10
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Re: Any Man Can Be A Father But It Takes Someone Special To Be A Daddy


Technically, any man with a child is a father. But being a good one takes a lot more, and even goes beyond providing their basic needs - food, shelter, clothing. Being a daddy is also about imparting life lessons, sometimes through actions so that they may turn into adults who can take whatever life throws at them and be able to treat others with dignity and respect.
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Old 05-29-2019, 05:31 AM   #11
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Re: Any Man Can Be A Father But It Takes Someone Special To Be A Daddy


my sons a hardcore addict .
came out ( gay) at 25
clean for a year and a half now
very rocky times from rehabs out of state
to him living in his car in the worst part of town
nasty fights, tears ,etc.

my wife this year found out she has a list of medical problems ( diabetes is one of them )

son , who hasn`t work for over a year, took charge, cooking mom special meals each night ( he`s a hi-end chef by trade)
spends hours making her great meals , even mousse ( spelled right?)
with no sugar , but it satisfies her sweet took
he gets up and drives her to work when her knees hurt.

he and i had a big fight 2 nights back, both got immature , and nasty
but he forgives in a heartbeat , and apologized .
i am probably to blame for some his issues , i was not easy on him when he was young.
but i truly enjoy him as an adult. great conversations , about cooking ,
family , his addictions ,etc.. he knows he can talk to me about anything .he`s a an introvert who can say nothing for hours .
but when he hugs me , he means it .

i`m just as proud as you all are of my kid
he`s an awesome guy
still fighting to find his way
but he loves unconditionally, and is a strong man .
has integrity, and drive when he needs it

love him dearly
and i know for all we`ve been through , he loves me the same
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Old 06-15-2019, 02:58 PM   #12
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Re: Any Man Can Be A Father But It Takes Someone Special To Be A Daddy





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