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My Dad Owns A Construction Business, I Am His Son. Poor Father And Son Relationship.

 
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Old 01-03-2018, 02:22 AM   #21
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Re: My Dad Owns A Construction Business, I Am His Son. Poor Father And Son Relationship.


My father and I have worked together for over 20 years. He was the boss first and now I am and he works as a project manager. We try and maintain work as work and family as family. Clear lines of responsibility/control have helped the most but working with family can be frustrating no matter what.

A couple of ?’s to ask yourself
Are there clear lines for responsiblity and clear expectations at work?

Are you both living up to them?

Is there a succession plan for you to you end up running the company?

If so have you guys had the conversation for what that looks like (on your side - progressive responsibility, increasing control, pay, timeline or goals that trigger the next step, etc. On your Dad’s side -what his roles will be, pay/buy out, expected timeline etc)

For us, if things aren’t working the question is always “is my expectation/response the same as for any other employee/boss?” If the answer is yes, we acknowledge the others position but the lead decision maker moves forward with what they think is in the best interest of the business just like they would if they disagreed with any other employee. If the answer is no then we readjust.
The following are questions we used when things weren’t working (full disclosure I thought it was bs we we started it, but it ended up working pretty well) “our inability to communicate isn’t working for us and is not best for the company, what can we do? Are there changes we can make? Are you interested in that? Here are a few ideas. What are yours?” or “we can’t seem to find a system to discuss project progress/needs let’s talk about how to fix it.” Or “how about we try it my way on this job (or week or month) and see what the bottom line looks like?” No one will argue with making more money or the same money with less hassle, unless they are simply not interested is giving up any control or are a nut.

Through those interactions my dad was reinforced/learned I’m not a kid anymore and am capable of making tough decisions, living with those consequences and maintaining or improving the bottom line. I learned he’s a hell of a lot smarter, knows more than I’ll ever know, I’m lucky he’s letting me learn on his dime and I should listen to the lesson and maybe not the delivery, also he’s just as grumpy as I thought growing up (lol). We both learned a hybrid of old school and new school made great contributions to the company.

Ultimately, if there’s no succession plan and/ or you guys can’t find a way to construct a good working relationship then parting ways is probably best. I’d give more than 2 weeks and be specific why you’re leaving, also acknowledge you’ve come and gone before but won’t comeback without significant changes (if that’s what you want)
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Old 01-03-2018, 07:18 AM   #22
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Re: My Dad Owns A Construction Business, I Am His Son. Poor Father And Son Relationship.


Most people here on CT know that I grew up working for my Dad. And continued on after his passing.

I could wright a book about our situation,life and business...probably wouldnt be a best seller by any stretch...mini series maybe..but not a best seller

If the original poster would go back and read his first post, all the answers hes seeking are right there in front of him.

Weve all got to work, have jobs and pay bills...but weve all only have one Mom and Dad and once they are gone there will be plenty of time to reflect and regret.

Go pursue the career youre craving and fix your relationship with your Dad
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Old 01-03-2018, 07:19 AM   #23
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Re: My Dad Owns A Construction Business, I Am His Son. Poor Father And Son Relationship.


Not sure this is the best forum for this, but if it makes you feel better then I guess its okay. You guys need to hash it out because leaving bad blood with people that you have to at least somewhat have in your life will just cause more pain over the long run.

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Old 01-03-2018, 07:24 PM   #24
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Re: My Dad Owns A Construction Business, I Am His Son. Poor Father And Son Relationship.


The most valuable person in the world for a business is the person who can work with anyone and everyone regardless of the problems that any person has. The person who can work with anyone and the person who everyone likes is the reason companies like Disney pay their CEO $350 million+ yearly.

When two people working together have a problem the person who is bothered by the problem also has a problem. We don't have the power of god to change other people, but we have the power to get help for ourselves.

Personally, if I was hired by a company where the owner's son did not like his dad, or did not get along with each other I would last less than 1 day.
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Old 01-09-2018, 06:39 AM   #25
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Re: My Dad Owns A Construction Business, I Am His Son. Poor Father And Son Relationship.


My brother has a similar situation with our dad and I know your situation is not easy. Far from it. How old is your dad? Maybe he can work for you? It's hard to say, but if your own business is your goal, why not do it? You can hire your dad for a position where you two won't be forced to discuss a lot.
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Old 01-09-2018, 07:53 AM   #26
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Re: My Dad Owns A Construction Business, I Am His Son. Poor Father And Son Relationship.


The original post was the first and last for the OP. Too bad because I would like to know what he did and how it turned out.

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