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Old 01-24-2019, 12:21 PM   #21
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Re: Up For Discussion


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Old 01-24-2019, 12:24 PM   #22
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Re: Up For Discussion


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Originally Posted by Robie View Post
Here's a thought.

Have a man-to-man, intelligent and composed meeting with the guy causing the problems...not his boss. Set up in advance a lunch meeting with him so he doesn't feel overwhelmed and threatened. Have a short list of notes ready of things you'd like to discuss.

From my experience, if you come across as someone just telling him..."you suck", it's not going to get you very far except maybe the door.

Try to use a little psychology. Sounds like he may be on a power trip of being in charge.
Maybe....maybe...if you can approach him in a way of making him aware of some of the problems without directly placing blame on him...he will start to look for answers himself, making him look like a star.

I've always tried to go to the source. Going behind or around someone can make it look like a conspiracy...not good.

Throw a BBQ...invite all the guys....maybe it will jog his memory about how things used to be.

Good luck.
I respect your suggestion on this. But this is 1970's fuzzy psychology ( which is when I got my degrees in Behavioral Psychology).

Frankly, it's like being in prison, now you want to have a "heart to heart", mano a' mano, tea and cookies conversation with the 300lb, 6' 4" Bubba that's been F...ing you in the A this whole time, thinking that if I can just have an adult conversation with this "foaming at the mouth" Neanderthal, everything will be right as rain.
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Old 01-24-2019, 12:27 PM   #23
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Re: Up For Discussion


Wow.
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Old 01-24-2019, 12:34 PM   #24
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Re: Up For Discussion


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I respect your suggestion on this. But this is 1970's fuzzy psychology ( which is when I got my degrees in Behavioral Psychology).

Frankly, it's like being in prison, now you want to have a "heart to heart", mano a' mano, tea and cookies conversation with the 300lb, 6' 4" Bubba that's been F...ing you in the A this whole time, thinking that if I can just have an adult conversation with this "foaming at the mouth" Neanderthal, everything will be right as rain.
Not so. A lot of problems can be fixed by plainly stating what you need out of a situation.

A lot of things can be fixed if a worker clearly states what needs to change to make it work for them and is willing to leave if not. There are people who will leave to avoid this conversation. If nothing else having the conversation gives the boss something to think about after you leave.

You act like Robie was talking about trying to fix it by putting out positive energy or something.
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Old 01-24-2019, 12:54 PM   #25
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Re: Up For Discussion


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Not so. A lot of problems can be fixed by plainly stating what you need out of a situation.

A lot of things can be fixed if a worker clearly states what needs to change to make it work for them and is willing to leave if not. There are people who will leave to avoid this conversation. If nothing else having the conversation gives the boss something to think about after you leave.

You act like Robie was talking about trying to fix it by putting out positive energy or something.
That is true, but it sounds like Robie is suggesting having a conversation with someone who is not acting like a responsible adult. And, with the expectation that a positive outcome is the most viable result.

I've been there many years ago, thinking positive outcome results by having a conversation..........which seemed to happen, right up until the time you get fired. The usual reason was: he just didn't fit in. But that was also from an adult that just didn't like having the conversation to begin with.

It's a lot to ask that your belief is that the other person is going to act in a way that you can predict. That they, like you, are a reasonable, mature adult that will see the benefit of a one on one discussion, and, that your logical and helpful suggestions will be taken in a gesture of mutual respect and understanding.
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Old 01-24-2019, 02:46 PM   #26
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Re: Up For Discussion


Quote:
That is true, but it sounds like Robie is suggesting having a conversation with someone who is not acting like a responsible adult. And, with the expectation that a positive outcome is the most viable result.

You possibly didn't read...Maybe...maybe in my post....

When it seems it's a case of either shut up or move along....having a conversation seems like a good idea. Maybe not though, eh?
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Old 01-24-2019, 06:34 PM   #27
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Re: Up For Discussion


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You possibly didn't read...Maybe...maybe in my post....

When it seems it's a case of either shut up or move along....having a conversation seems like a good idea. Maybe not though, eh?
Actually I did read your post about 3 times. The "maybe" part was toward the last 3rd of your post. The first and middle parts pretty much encouraged him to "have that talk".

But like you said, either shut up, or , move on. He sound somewhat desperate and naive on this stuff, so who knows. He will know quick if he decides to go up to the guy and have a "the" talk.

Even with my experience, I wouldn't waste my time talking with the guy, but then again, I have little patience in some thing.

I'm just playing 'devil's advocate bring up another point of view anyway.
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Old 01-24-2019, 09:07 PM   #28
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Re: Up For Discussion


Realistically, having "the talk" with the previous owners son coming from the OP as ONE individual is probably not going to yield anything fruitful...

It would involve the previous owners son changing what he may perceives as a situation that works for him and the company... in essence, just for the OP who's already gone over his head to his boss (mistake one)... and therefore unlikely...

We're only really getting one side of the story here, and assuming it's all accurate, unless the OP can get others to join him in addressing it, or the OP has some overarching value to the company that we don't know about, it's hard to see previous owners son's motivation to change for one person, when in his mind, it's working and people already put up with it...

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