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Stupid Things I've Heard Said

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Old 04-24-2015, 11:14 PM   #41
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Re: Stupid Things I've Heard Said

Originally Posted by TaylorMadeCon View Post
I was working in an oil refinery (it was not operational either) and stopped to have a drink from my water bottle. A safety officer runs up to me and says
" you can't have water out here!! It may get contaminated when you open it"
For the rest of that 6 month job we had to walk back to the lunch trailer when we were thirsty.
Not unusual - no eating, drinking, smoking in potentially contaminated areas.
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Old 04-24-2015, 11:49 PM   #42
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Re: Stupid Things I've Heard Said

Originally Posted by asevereid View Post
And my personal favorite ;" If you guys ever get stuck on how to do something, just look it up on YouTube ".
Sounds like an old boss when he wanted me to mud and tape and I had never done it before.
Originally Posted by mnld View Post
Home Depot... you can glue it, we can help!
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Old 04-25-2015, 09:30 AM   #43
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Re: Stupid Things I've Heard Said

How come they can do it so much faster on the home improvement shows?...

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Old 04-25-2015, 10:05 AM   #44
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Re: Stupid Things I've Heard Said

Can you sand the asbestos off my kitchen floor?


Why not.

Because I dont want to die of cancer.

But tile is more expensive.

Thats not my problem.

What if I have my twenty dollar an hour guy sand it off and then you refinish them?
"A smart man learns from his mistakes; a wise man learns from the mistakes of others."
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Old 04-25-2015, 10:45 AM   #45
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Re: Stupid Things I've Heard Said

True story. We do camera systems for this large chain of gyms in NorCal. So I'm running around with my ladder inside the this large gym, connecting, mounting and focusing cams. I'm going through these at a good clip, because I have only done this about 10,000 times.

So I notice this rather rotund guy, you know-the type that pumps a couple of lightweight weights, takes a ten minute break, then does a rep or two on a machine, then takes another break.....Anyway, I noticed he was watching me do my job rather he comes up while I am up on the ladder and starts talking to me (another break for him after a rigorous 30 seconds with those 5 pound weights).

He goes "hey, that job you do looks real easy, I'm thinking of putting cameras in my house in the Philippines and watching from my computer over here (USA). So all you do is attach some of those wires and it all works right ??? I bet those cameras are pretty cheap too....I know I can buy them on the internet and they are only like 30 or 40 dollars". So how long did it take you to learn how to do all this ??

At this point, I definitely feel that this fool needs a serious slap down, but I resist. So I tell him: " I've been doing this for a while now, but I would say that in the last 10 years I've done about 5000 cameras.....So to answer your questions....after about the first 1000 or so cameras, it does become easier....good luck, you should have no problems"
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Old 04-25-2015, 11:40 AM   #46
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Re: Stupid Things I've Heard Said

"Two different switches turn on this light and now the light isn't working right."

This is on the one nightmare job I have had in my career. It was a very large remodel but we were to do no electrical on the job. We came in one morning and the night before the homeowner had put in all new switches, outlets, lights etc including changing out several 3 way switches with single pole switches.

Let's just say there were several fixtures he installed that didn't work. I told him well unfortunately for me to continue with the contract my electrician has to come fix everything because I don't know the full extent of your "wiring". And I for sure didn't want to be associated with anything he had done. Worst job ever.
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Old 04-25-2015, 09:14 PM   #47
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Re: Stupid Things I've Heard Said

This is second hand, I wasnt' there. After a guy had a fire, the plastic roof vents had melted and there were holes in his roof where they had been. This guy looks up at them and proclaims that he can't believe the roof didn't leak beforehand.

This one I did witness. My wife walks across a back yard which I was preparing to seed, but it had just rained. She walks across a wood deck and into the house, tracking mud the whole way. I say, "Woman, what in the hell are you doing?" She said she didn't notice she was tracking mud. This isn't funny, it is sad. The worst part is that she did the same thing the next time it rained.
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Old 04-25-2015, 09:52 PM   #48
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Re: Stupid Things I've Heard Said

I'm installing an invisible fence with one of my helpers, using a walk-behind edger. After about 30 minutes,

Him: "So what do you normally use an edger for?"

Me: "Uhh, edging."

Him: "Ohhh,"

And another from the same guy:

"I know how we can get more work. We just need to UNDERBID everybody else."

Thanks for the advice, Einstein!
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Old 04-26-2015, 06:39 AM   #49
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Re: Stupid Things I've Heard Said

I don't need to build a storm water retention pond. I'll just let my water run into the one you already have.
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Old 04-26-2015, 07:37 AM   #50
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Re: Stupid Things I've Heard Said

Built an elevated, roofed deck over a larger existing concrete patio. The codes inspector told us the neighbors had contacted the township office wanting to have the project stopped because the roof would cause too much rainwater runoff.
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Old 04-26-2015, 07:56 AM   #51
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Re: Stupid Things I've Heard Said

Had a lady ask me if I could demo and rebuild her cold room in the basement then waterproof it..... ALL FROM THE INSIDE because she didn't want to remove her new deck she had built over it last year.
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Old 04-26-2015, 10:29 PM   #52
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Re: Stupid Things I've Heard Said

Taking some of my chickens to get processed. Neighbor lady sees me and asks about it. Then adds "Why don't you just buy chicken at the store where it doesn't have to be killed"
Ride Safe, Wave, I'll Wave Back.
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Old 04-27-2015, 08:36 AM   #53
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Re: Stupid Things I've Heard Said

"This oughta be real easy. . . "

The last time I heard this was a 2000' driveway with 20 lamp posts installed by a nitwit (buried ROMEX) in the 1960's. They hadn't worked in 20 years.
(And they still don't work!).
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Old 04-27-2015, 11:01 AM   #54
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Re: Stupid Things I've Heard Said

went to the bank to borrow some money one time.After looking over my pay stubs,my banker asked why I needed a loan,that I made more money than he did....I looked him in the eye and told him," I also make more than my dentist,but I don't pull my own teeth".
life is short,do your masonry naked!!
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Old 04-27-2015, 03:37 PM   #55
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Re: Stupid Things I've Heard Said

"It's a very small, simple job. We want a two car garage that can fit three."
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Old 04-27-2015, 04:40 PM   #56
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Re: Stupid Things I've Heard Said

this ones for all the sparkys.

I was working on panel years back. The JOURNEY man carpenter saw me working and said" shouldn't you hold on to the gas pipe so your grounded"
I laugh looking back at him and joking "ya cant get electrocuted if your grounded"
he didn't laugh and I soon realized he was for real.
not the first time I caught this guy being dumb.
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Old 04-27-2015, 05:39 PM   #57
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Re: Stupid Things I've Heard Said

"I'm not paid enough to move fast."

To which I promptly said "now you're not paid at all. Get in your car and go home."
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Old 04-27-2015, 06:47 PM   #58
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Re: Stupid Things I've Heard Said

Demo guy said to me once.

"You can bury asbestos in your backyard. Just bury it. Totally legal."

Same guy.

"My lead levels are slightly elevated. Slightly."
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Old 04-27-2015, 07:30 PM   #59
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Re: Stupid Things I've Heard Said

On a large hotel build, I found an apprentice chewing on some fire caulking. I asked him what the he11 he thought he was doing.

"I just wanted to see what it tasted like."

Yes, fire caulk.
This post has been modified from its original version. It has been formatted to fit this screen and edited for content.
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Old 04-27-2015, 07:39 PM   #60

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Re: Stupid Things I've Heard Said

Originally Posted by shesbros View Post
"I'm not paid enough to move fast."

To which I promptly said "now you're not paid at all. Get in your car and go home."
I had a similar experience.

I said that if I hear the line again, "That's not my job",

My response would be, "Your right, it's not, your FIRED!!"


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