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Funny Things Helpers Do!

 
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Old 01-13-2019, 11:33 PM   #41
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Re: Funny Things Helpers Do!


Years ago, I was working for a company and one day on a reno job the new guy brings me a handful of old bent brad nails and asks where I want him to put them. The garbage is clearly where I wanted them to go but when I asked why he was asking me he tells me the boss said "take the baseboards off and pull the nails out of them because we are going to keep them to reuse".

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Old 01-14-2019, 02:13 AM   #42
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Re: Funny Things Helpers Do!


Not really a helper story, but we used to tell new privates to go out in the field and shake that tree. That way we could find it on the map.

Worked every time.

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Old 01-14-2019, 07:05 AM   #43
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Re: Funny Things Helpers Do!


This was 2 years ago. I was doing a condo reno. The flooring upstairs was done. I walked him thru the upstairs to show him where to install the baseboard. I left for the day for another job. Text with him thru the day, hes telling me progress is good, looks great hes saying. About 6pm he tells me hes done, that's great I text him. I get there in the morning with him, walk upstairs, no baseboard is even started. He had installed all the baseboard downstairs, where the floor was yet to be installed. He kept saying sorry to the point i told him if he said sorry again i was gonna tell him to go home.
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Old 01-14-2019, 07:16 AM   #44
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Re: Funny Things Helpers Do!


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Originally Posted by builditguy View Post
Through the years I sent more than one to the truck to get the board stretcher.

I had one guy naked Brad. During his divorce, his wife was yelling, in front of his house, about his 1” D***.
Several times after that I would send him to the truck to get the 1” brads. When he came back with them, I said never mind. I never needed them. After the 3rd time he caught on.

Of course this makes me look like a jerk.

Last year we couldn’t get a door open, from the inside. Our helper went around the building and kicked it in. Good job. Then he disappeared. Couple minutes later he comes back from the inside. I asked why he didn’t walk through the door. After 15 seconds of no response, he admitted he didn’t realize he could.


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Obviously should have said "named" instead of naked. Autocorrect got me. Fat fingers and small keys syndrome.
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Old 01-14-2019, 03:06 PM   #45
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Re: Funny Things Helpers Do!


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Obviously should have said "named" instead of naked. Autocorrect got me. Fat fingers and small keys syndrome.
I honestly assumed that was his nickname and I was disappointed we didn't get the origin story. Makes more sense now
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Old 01-15-2019, 10:53 AM   #46
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Re: Funny Things Helpers Do!


seriously ,i may of done 2/3 of the things listed at one time or another .
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Old 01-15-2019, 08:42 PM   #47
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Re: Funny Things Helpers Do!


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Originally Posted by builditguy View Post
Obviously should have said "named" instead of naked. Autocorrect got me. Fat fingers and small keys syndrome.
Hold on there! I liked the "naked brad" story a lot better. Maybe you should stick with that one
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Old 01-15-2019, 11:43 PM   #48
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Re: Funny Things Helpers Do!


A friend of mine was a crew leader at a local deck & fence company.

He had to put in a sky lift (steel pipe fastened to top plate, pipe jack flashing, and a bucket to hold a beam)

He wanted to make sure nothing was in the bay between the trusses, so he drilled a 3/4” hole with a paddle bit and stuck his finger in the hole to feel around.

He said he yelled for a long time before his helper came with a sawzall.


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Old 01-16-2019, 12:22 AM   #49
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Re: Funny Things Helpers Do!


Back when I was on a painting crew the boss tells the new guy to fill up a couple buckets from the hose bib outside before painting the window trim. An hour later I find the window trim not even started and the buckets are still there empty. I find the new guy in the HO's garage "I'm looking for a hacksaw." WTF? He explained that the hose bib was too low to put the whole bucket under it so he was going to cut their garden hose to make a short hose to fill the bucket!
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Old 01-16-2019, 09:05 AM   #50
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Re: Funny Things Helpers Do!


not a funny one but : a stupid helper story

i hired " lazaro" as a helper
he showed up first morning . nice kid about 28-30

3 hours into the job ,he goes to cut a piece of1x4 on my miter saw.
he grabbed the trigger, then reached under the blade to get the piece of wood.
turned the blade on , it started to cut him , right at the wrist
he panicked. ,so he grabbed the trigger harder , and the saw just kept going into his wrist.
a total "W.T.F.??!" moment
thankfully it was my 7-1/4 inch mitersaw , and not my 12 inch.
the motor bogged out , the blade stopped after he was 3 /4 of the way through his wrist
he pulled his hand away
bright shiny bone showing , blood squirting with his heart beat.
i said , " lay down laz , your gonna pass out!"
then took my shirt off and help his hand on , and yelled to the homeowner to call 911.
a cop , and 5 paramedics came .it was just another day to them , no rushing , no big deal to them

i`d never had an injury that bad in all my 35 years having workers.
i handled it good , but had to leave to go home and sleep for a few hours.
now i`ve dubbed that mitersaw the " handsaw"
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Old 01-16-2019, 11:16 AM   #51
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Re: Funny Things Helpers Do!


Once had a helper show up ten minutes early, leave his phone in his truck, put his bags on, and got to work.

He kept his mouth shut, did what he was told, and didn't stand around.















Just kidding. That never happened.
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Old 01-16-2019, 02:05 PM   #52
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Re: Funny Things Helpers Do!


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Originally Posted by Seven-Delta-FortyOne View Post
Once had a helper show up ten minutes early, leave his phone in his truck, put his bags on, and got to work.

He kept his mouth shut, did what he was told, and didn't stand around.















Just kidding. That never happened.
You had me for a minute there.
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Old 01-16-2019, 08:25 PM   #53
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Re: Funny Things Helpers Do!


Quote:
Originally Posted by Seven-Delta-FortyOne View Post
Once had a helper show up ten minutes early, leave his phone in his truck, put his bags on, and got to work.



He kept his mouth shut, did what he was told, and didn't stand around.































Just kidding. That never happened.


Good one


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Old 01-16-2019, 08:35 PM   #54
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Re: Funny Things Helpers Do!


“Jose” was sent to me by my roofer friends worker. Showed up in his bus boy outfit lol. No English. His only job was to cut up the old gutter and downspouts and put them in a pile by the truck.

I Left for 10 min and came back and he not only crushed all the old downspouts and put them in a pile but also all shiny new ones I just made too lol.


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Old 01-16-2019, 09:16 PM   #55
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Re: Funny Things Helpers Do!


You guys might think this is funny. I wasn't amused.
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Old 01-16-2019, 10:21 PM   #56
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Re: Funny Things Helpers Do!


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You guys might think this is funny. I wasn't amused.
Hey, it took our guy almost two hours today to get 4 cripples and a header installed for a 2-0x 3-0 opening today...

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Old 01-16-2019, 10:35 PM   #57
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Re: Funny Things Helpers Do!


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Hey, it took our guy almost two hours today to get 4 cripples and a header installed for a 2-0x 3-0 opening today...

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Did his cripples at least go down to he bottom plate?
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Old 01-16-2019, 10:40 PM   #58
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Re: Funny Things Helpers Do!


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Did his cripples at least go down to he bottom plate?
Just

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Old 01-17-2019, 04:16 PM   #59
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Re: Funny Things Helpers Do!


Quote:
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You guys might think this is funny. I wasn't amused.
Sorry, Johnson... That's funny right there. I don't care who you are. That's funny.

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