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Funny Things Helpers Do!

 
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Old 06-22-2008, 12:46 PM   #21
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Re: Funny Things Helpers Do!


Every now and then my helpers find a way to be productive, its not funny but it makes me smile
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Old 06-22-2008, 01:37 PM   #22
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Re: Funny Things Helpers Do!


Had a new kid fresh out of
trade school, ready to tear
the world a new one, and
teach me a better way of
....everything.
I'm talking to the owner about
some foundation changes.
Got 2 rolls of prints spread out
on the hood (driver's side) with
my opened attache, calculator,
scales, a brick....to hold things
down in the wind.
Owner and I step over to
the footers to look at something.
Kid is following me like a puppy
and I am finally tired of finding stuff
for him to do that won't cause trouble.
Hand him a $10 and tell him to get coffee
for all three of us.
Turn around and he's driving away in
my truck spewing prints, etc all over...
with the open attache still on the
on the hood directly in front of his face!

Two days later he takes off to go
deer hunting...no notice.
What happened?
He had to "leave at 3 A.M. didn't
think you'd want me to call you that early!"
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Old 06-22-2008, 03:08 PM   #23
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Re: Funny Things Helpers Do!


Working for a G.C. in my home town when I get a call to go to another job to set up fence posts,When I get there Joe and Charlie had dug the holes.So I run a string line I didn't need a level I could see the holes where all out.Listen boys these holes are half a hole out.Joe looks at me and says thats an old joke theres no such thing as a half a hole.Thats not what I meant the posts are all at the end of the holes and not in the middle.Charlie rears up at joe and says see I told you we should have dug the holes where Bungalow Frank left the bricks.Bungalow was the helpers forman so called because every one said he had nothing upstairs.Charlie and Joe where so scared of moving the bricks that they dug the holes along side them,so if any one said any thing they could point to the bricks and say look thats where the bricks are.So I said"look boys just dig the holes out the concret is on the way"."ILL go back to the yard and get some 4"by1" to make braces for the posts,"thats a good idea" says charlie and if the wind blows it wont blow them over.I'm not buying that says Joe how does he know which way the winds going to blow.Charlie and Joe where two of the nicest guys I have ever worked with.
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Old 06-22-2008, 03:42 PM   #24
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Re: Funny Things Helpers Do!


This was me the apprentice.
Doing electrical work on a scaffold in a school gym they asked me to do some paint touch up and sent me up a 5 gallon bucket of paint when a pint would have done. Long story short the bucket hits the floor and paint shoots across the entire gym. Nailed one of the custodians and nailed the stacks of folding chairs. Three hours later the place was spotless. The only thing I couldn't save was the speakers on the boom box, (paint went through the grill)... We don't do paint touch up now.
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Old 06-22-2008, 04:35 PM   #25
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Re: Funny Things Helpers Do!


The Boss hired a couple of twin bros to add to the framing crew. Of course they claimed they were going to show us old guys how it's done. I look down on the ground to see them standing on a 2x12 header nailing the thing together.
I yell down to them "hey that's what the sawhorses are for, put the header on the horses it will save your back" they thought that was a good idea.
A few mins later I look down to see the header on the saw horses and 2 dips standing on top of the header nailing it toghether.
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Old 06-22-2008, 05:25 PM   #26
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Re: Funny Things Helpers Do!


Northwest of vegas is a ski resort town in the mountains,I don't recall the name but I had a guy riding with me that the owner wanted me to evaluate.When we got to the higher elevations there was a lot of snow and ice on the ground,and when we got to the house I boogied right up the 100' drive being that I grew up with snow in Chicago and knew how to walk.My trainee was from L.A. and hadn't seen snow before.Well ,the frickin' guy fell 4 or 5 times bewteen the truck and the front porch,complete wipe-outs,I was dying.I'm laughing my a$$ off right now.
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Old 06-22-2008, 06:48 PM   #27
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Re: Funny Things Helpers Do!


Quote:
Originally Posted by curtis2kul View Post
Nothing is better than sending a new guy out to the truck to get the pipe stretcher. Most of the time they figure it out after a while when its not in the tool bin.
I've heard about superintendents getting pretty about that, a waste of time I guess. One time an apprentice was sent for a bucket of compression (or steam or skyhooks, etc), and he played along even though he was not dumb. He went to the break room, opened a paper and relaxed.

A foreman or superintendent found him some time later and asked him what he was doing and he said he was waiting there for someone. He asked for the bucket of compression and the guy told him he'd be right back, and to wait there.

"WHO SENT YOU FOR THAT!!" he yelled, and it was someone's ass.

======

I'll admit to falling for an obvious one, some Iron Workers got me.

"How many welding rods can you bend on the back of your neck?" One guy said 12, another said 20, one 30, etc. Right as I began to bend them, I realized and stopped, but not before I had some flux run down my back. "ya got me, bastard! good one"

They laughed and told me about guys trying to outdo them with as many rods as they could, only to get the back of their pants full of flux... I guess a good welder CAN fill any crack!
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Old 06-22-2008, 07:49 PM   #28
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Re: Funny Things Helpers Do!


I'll never forget the time I sent the new guy for the sazall,he comes back with a skillsaw.I fliped and said the SAZALL THE SAZALL, after a few minutes I hear everyone yelling,up comes the new guy with 4-5 skillsaws.
I sceeam I NEED THE SAZALL, hs screams THIS IS ALL THE SAWS!!
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Old 06-22-2008, 08:01 PM   #29
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Re: Funny Things Helpers Do!


Drywalling a house a few weeks back. It was hot and towards the end of the day. Tell my new guy to go cut an 8 footer to 97 1/2 in. I follow him to the stack just to watch as he takes out his tape and actually tried to measure it.
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Old 06-22-2008, 08:09 PM   #30
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Re: Funny Things Helpers Do!


My helper was left to do some roof painting. He called later to say he has mixed the black pain ton the deck, and somehow 2 golden retievers had knocked the 5 gal bucket over, Then, the 2 Black retrievers had gone through the doggie door and back into the house!

If those dogs missed touching anything in that house, I don't know what it could have been! What a clusterfk!!!!!

Been about 18 years now. HO still cusses me when we meet. His wife, she busts a gut laughing about it! And, we're still on good terms! Go figure.
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Old 01-13-2019, 04:12 AM   #31
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Re: Funny Things Helpers Do!


Been almost 11 years.
I think it needs a bump.
No good stories about helpers?
I'm a one man show, sometimes I use helpers, but I have nothing to add to these stories.
Let's here yours.
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Old 01-13-2019, 06:04 AM   #32
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Re: Funny Things Helpers Do!


Woke up this morning from a weird dream about a helper. Les Nessman type that went full-on idiot.
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Old 01-13-2019, 11:59 AM   #33
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Re: Funny Things Helpers Do!


I needed to pour a circular pad of concrete. Lumberyard sent out redwood bender board.
Helper is staking it in, but doesnít pick up his feet, and snaps the board when he tries to step over it. 3 form repairs later, I tell him to work on something else.

That guy still trips over stuff to this day haha


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Old 01-13-2019, 01:40 PM   #34
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Re: Funny Things Helpers Do!


On a suspended slab garage we convinced our helper that after stripping the forms we had to perform a "resonance frequency test" that involved him (being the heaviest) to jump on predetermined areas on the slab to check for deflection...
So on "test day", we drew out four circles and had him jump on those areas several times... Not once did he get wise to it... Not until we couldn't hold in the laughter.

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Old 01-13-2019, 04:37 PM   #35
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Re: Funny Things Helpers Do!


Had a young kid helping me paint one summer. We are doing some routine aluminum soffit and fascia. We're two stories up. Anyway, I hear a blood curdling scream from the other side of the house where he was painting. He's standing by the ladder completely out of breath! What's wrong? He finally mutters, "Snake!" Snake? Two stories up? Well darned if there wasn't a snake tucked in a gap in the soffit and it's tail was hooked around something so that it was attacking him as he painted. Never saw anything like it before or since. Poor kid was absolutely terrified.
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Old 01-13-2019, 05:00 PM   #36
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Re: Funny Things Helpers Do!


Had a helper install some siding on a pump house, he brought a piece of siding to me and asked if he should do rough side or sooth side out. I looked at it and said letís make it smooth.
A few minutes later I realize I hear the thickness planer running. I found him running the siding trough it and I ask him wtf? He said.... you said letís make it smooth!
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Old 01-13-2019, 05:04 PM   #37
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Re: Funny Things Helpers Do!


Quote:
Originally Posted by Jay hole View Post
Had a helper install some siding on a pump house, he brought a piece of siding to me and asked if he should do rough side or sooth side out. I looked at it and said letís make it smooth.
A few minutes later I realize I hear the thickness planer running. I found him running the siding trough it and I ask him wtf? He said.... you said letís make it smooth!
Hard to find good help that follows instructions to the letter like that

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Old 01-13-2019, 05:13 PM   #38
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Re: Funny Things Helpers Do!


Quote:
Originally Posted by asevereid View Post
Hard to find good help that follows instructions to the letter like that

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That's what I thought when the guy marked 14 1/2" on a 2x4.
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Old 01-13-2019, 06:54 PM   #39
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Re: Funny Things Helpers Do!


Through the years I sent more than one to the truck to get the board stretcher.

I had one guy naked Brad. During his divorce, his wife was yelling, in front of his house, about his 1Ē D***.
Several times after that I would send him to the truck to get the 1Ē brads. When he came back with them, I said never mind. I never needed them. After the 3rd time he caught on.

Of course this makes me look like a jerk.

Last year we couldnít get a door open, from the inside. Our helper went around the building and kicked it in. Good job. Then he disappeared. Couple minutes later he comes back from the inside. I asked why he didnít walk through the door. After 15 seconds of no response, he admitted he didnít realize he could.


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Old 01-13-2019, 07:39 PM   #40
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Re: Funny Things Helpers Do!


I had an oddball laborer. About 20 years old, but not much on social graces. We are doing the rare inside job in an occupied remodel. Homeowner offers us coffee and I decline for both of us. About an hour later, the helper disappears. I ask where he's been and he replies that he's made coffee. In the homeowners kitchen... I just stared at him and went back to work. A little while later, the homeowner comes back to check on us. My helper says "thanks for the coffee"

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