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Funniest Home Center Story

 
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Old 07-31-2007, 08:58 PM   #1
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Funniest Home Center Story


Was curious to hear from other guys/gals who've seen funny [email protected]# at the home centers. Two of my favorites:

The guy loading 5 sheets of 1/2" osb and 30 studs on the roof of his new cadillac. (with twine no less)

Here's a photo of something similar:

http://www.carbuyingtips.com/pics/loser15.jpg
(apparently there's 10, 80 lb. bags of concrete in the bag seat, too)

Saw another guy a while back loading a few dozen studs into his new corvette. Haven't these people ever heard of renting a truck?

Another personal favorite was overhearing a conversation in the electrical isle. A 50-ish woman was asking for help finding a new dryer cord. She was holding one that had the wires fused together at the end. She went on to say her dryer had stopped working and she wasn't sure if it was getting power. Her version of a voltage tester was to take the cord off the dryer, plug it in, and touch the ends of the wires together to see if it would "spark." I nearly pissed myself as she told this with a straight face to the equally clueless HC electrical gomer. Had to leave the isle to regain my composure. (his response, "Gosh, you know that probably wasn't a good idea.")

Anyone else have a good one?
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Old 07-31-2007, 10:05 PM   #2
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Re: Funniest Home Center Story


I always giggle when I see excited homeowners with a big push cart loaded with home center vinyl siding, you know the siding where the boxes colapse under their own weight, I also like to see the same homeowner following around the scruffy dude they just hired as he picks out what hes gonna need to work on their house for $10/hr
What really burns me about HD is their boards that are sold by the lineal foot and the cashiers F&^% you right down to the quarter inch on the boards. I swear one day when I actually have the time im gonna show up and cut all my boards to the exact size in the isle and leave them with all the unsellable scrap that they just have to throw away

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Old 07-31-2007, 10:34 PM   #3
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Re: Funniest Home Center Story


Lowes sells the boards by board. Not linear ft. Most of the time cheaper too. Problem with both Home Depot and Lowes esp. by me in Northern NJ/Rockland County is CUSTOM SERVICE. Or lack of.

I am not sure if other contractors have a problem with these home centers, but the customer service is not there. They never have the supplies either.

Thankfully for me I have a few lumberyards by me. They are more expensive on the materials, but they are good at customer service, have the items and they load it in the van for you! A few extra dollars I can pass onto the customer to get the job done faster!!
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Old 07-31-2007, 10:43 PM   #4
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Re: Funniest Home Center Story


Have you heard the story about the EC from NJ that was "almost" arrested for shoplifting at HD?

Apparently, the "store" felt he was attempting to sell $300+ worth of lumber.

No joke.


Lemme see if I can find that thread on the forum I posted it on....BTW, the alleged shoplifter was yours truly....
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Old 07-31-2007, 10:54 PM   #5
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Re: Funniest Home Center Story


Quote:
Originally Posted by Patrick View Post
I also like to see the same homeowner following around the scruffy dude they just hired as he picks out what hes gonna need to work on their house for $10/hr
That guy must get around, I've seen him out here too.

Maybe not a funny story but lately my fuse has gotten shorter and shorter, I used to know everybody at the HD I go to, but it seems they turned everybody over lately.

I like it when I push up a freaken load of 30 sheets of DensShield and when I get to the counter the girl asks me do I know where the UPC code is? I've been pretty good so far I have been able to just say "No" and then stand there till they figure maybe they are going to have to figure it out themselves.

Everytime this happens I have visions of myself going off and saying:

"I just loaded this God Forsaken pile of crap myself, wheeled it up here, waited in line for 10 minutes and you're asking me where the price tag is? I need to check myself out now too? WHERE DOES YOUR PART OF THIS PROCESS BEGIN?"

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Old 08-01-2007, 06:10 AM   #6
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Re: Funniest Home Center Story


Quote:
Originally Posted by Mike Finley View Post

"I just loaded this God Forsaken pile of crap myself, wheeled it up here, waited in line for 10 minutes and you're asking me where the price tag is? I need to check myself out now too? WHERE DOES YOUR PART OF THIS PROCESS BEGIN?"

Ya I hate that. Whats worse is you have your cart loaded with various long lengths of lumber and the only registers that are open are the self checkouts and you roll up and they expect you to actually take everything off the cart and scan it on the machine. You have to beg them to come over and scan it for you.
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Old 08-01-2007, 07:31 AM   #7
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Re: Funniest Home Center Story


Quote:
I also like to see the same homeowner following around the scruffy dude they just hired as he picks out what hes gonna need to work on their house for $10/hr
His twin brother shops around here (in a few different stores)

Quote:
Whats worse is you have your cart loaded with various long lengths of lumber and the only registers that are open are the self checkouts and you roll up and they expect you to actually take everything off the cart and scan it on the machine. You have to beg them to come over and scan it for you.
Yep! That pi$$es me off more than anything. I have actually left the store leaving a cart piled with 2x4x16's and drywall when the only lane open was the self-check-out. Now, you can not physically move 16 foot lumber through the checkout and out the door there, so I asked "Skippy" the cashier if there was anyone at the prodesk or contractor sales that could check me out, he told me if I wanted to wait 20 more minutes, "Bob" will be back from lunch, he could do it then. "No thanks", I said, and left, leaving the cart right where it is. The poor boy didn't know what to say....

The funniest thing I think I ever saw was a couple, probably in their 40's, with two of the big flat carts, both loaded at least 6 feet high (2 piles on each cart 6 feet high) with the 'assemble them yourself' kitchen cabinets. They were having all they could do just to push them down the aisle. It will probably take a week or two just to assemble them. Gotta wonder....
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Old 08-01-2007, 11:25 AM   #8
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Re: Funniest Home Center Story


I love the self check lines. I usually stand on line with a completely loaded cart. I purposely park it sideways so no one can use the other self checkout or leave with their purchases. This now forces the cashier to scan the items on my cart. Yes the people behind you are usually P/O but i usually turn to them and say "Sorry but if they had more help this would not have happened. Use the survey on the bottom of your receipt to complain that you want more cashiers for a better shopping experience." I get the " you know your right" answer.
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Old 08-01-2007, 11:56 AM   #9
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Re: Funniest Home Center Story


Three stooges over loaded their pick up with chain link fence, poles, tension rods, hardware, ect. Nothing was tied down. As soon as he turned the corner and stepped on the gas, it all slid out onto the Blvd. They stopped, jumped out and were scurrying around in the middle of the street trying to pick up everything and avoid the traffic jam they created.
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Old 08-01-2007, 03:10 PM   #10
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Re: Funniest Home Center Story


Quote:
Originally Posted by Patrick View Post
Ya I hate that. Whats worse is you have your cart loaded with various long lengths of lumber and the only registers that are open are the self checkouts and you roll up and they expect you to actually take everything off the cart and scan it on the machine. You have to beg them to come over and scan it for you.
I had it happen twice, first time man at the pro- desk actually told me to take it to self checkout. Was some sheetrock and misc items. Second time was lumber and the pro desk people were standing around looking at me.

Left it in the isle both times. Second time I emailed HD Headquarters, something to the effect that if the can pay a 200 million severance then why can't they afford to hire cashiers.

Received their standard reply of we are sorry but if you verify your address wew will send a 10% coupon. Never verified canceled HD cc and have not been back.

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Old 08-01-2007, 07:05 PM   #11
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Re: Funniest Home Center Story


I wonce dropped some shelving boards about ten off them made a load noise. there was people scurrying to the isle. Thinking that one of the pallets of crap the keep over head fell down.

I find it funny now but it wasn't so funny at the time as it was a month after that gal died from a pallet falling from overhead.
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Old 08-01-2007, 07:09 PM   #12
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Re: Funniest Home Center Story


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Originally Posted by SuperiorBuilt View Post
I love the self check lines. I usually stand on line with a completely loaded cart. I purposely park it sideways so no one can use the other self checkout or leave with their purchases. This now forces the cashier to scan the items on my cart. Yes the people behind you are usually P/O but i usually turn to them and say "Sorry but if they had more help this would not have happened. Use the survey on the bottom of your receipt to complain that you want more cashiers for a better shopping experience." I get the " you know your right" answer.

I agree about the help. I often stop on my way home if I need to pick up a couple of incidentals in order to save time in the morning. But I'm not sure about that, because at 5:30 when me and the other 500 people have the same idea, the store manager has four registers open, and it takes 35 minutes to checkout. Surveys and complaints, it would be nice to believe that they cared , but it is obvious they don't, because the backlash is not significant enough to huirt sales on a large enough scale.

The store managers are caught in the middle between complaining, but still buying, customers and the quarterly reports that his job is depending on.
As anyone who has ever been involved in major retail chains knows, all that matters is meeting the expected numbers. When some numbers cruncher sees that a manager's ratio of employee hours to sales volume is higher that the company policy says is should be, his job is on the line.

But I still want to work for HD. I want to be the guy who is armed with the taser to intervene when people like you go through the self check out lines with stupid stuff, and stares blankly at the machine for ten minutes as it keeps telling him to place his item in the bagging area. And exactly how should he fold those ten foot pieces of moulding so they fit in the bag. This is where my job comes in...."excuse me sir, is that you moulding...zaaaap. Next in line please. Don't worry about him, he will stop flopping around the floor in a couple of minutes."

Last edited by troubleseeker; 08-01-2007 at 07:20 PM.
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Old 08-01-2007, 08:50 PM   #13
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Re: Funniest Home Center Story


I hate all the F%#&ing contractors who park their F%#&ing trucks in front of the door instead of in the parking lot. Makes it impossible to push a cart with 16' materials out the door.
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Old 08-01-2007, 09:17 PM   #14
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Re: Funniest Home Center Story


Quote:
I hate all the F%#&ing contractors who park their F%#&ing trucks in front of the door instead of in the parking lot. Makes it impossible to push a cart with 16' materials out the door.
I'd at least get the satisfaction of...ummm....SLAMMING my cart full of lumber into their truck a few....dozen...times.
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Old 08-01-2007, 09:26 PM   #15
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Re: Funniest Home Center Story


About 25 yrs ago a friend of mine was at a grossmans store up north, similar to todays HD. anyways they always had trucks parking infront of entrance. Store policy changed when in 30 minutes 4 trucks were stolen, guess who owned the tow truck? The trucks were always found, but the agrivation and lost time made a impression. By the way he was the brother of the chief of police.
I would not recommend trying this these days!
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Old 08-01-2007, 09:27 PM   #16
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Re: Funniest Home Center Story


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I hate all the F%#&ing contractors who park their F%#&ing trucks in front of the door instead of in the parking lot. Makes it impossible to push a cart with 16' materials out the door.
Make a bright orange sticker that says "I DONT KNOW HOW TO READ. I AM A RETARD" and start sticking it to every piece of glass on thier vehicle. OR right over thier magnets/lettering. I bet they will stop real quick. I have seriously considered doing that.
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Old 08-01-2007, 09:38 PM   #17
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Re: Funniest Home Center Story


The funniest thing I ever saw was in the early 90's. There was a guy with a Volkswagon Beetle (60's/70's model), strapping 3 or 4 long 2x4's under the car. Slid them under, front to back, and lashed them up to the front and back bumpers. I hope he took the potholes and manhole covers gently, otherwise he might have pole vaulted the whole thing.
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Old 08-01-2007, 09:44 PM   #18
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Re: Funniest Home Center Story


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Originally Posted by Patrick View Post
I also like to see the same homeowner following around the scruffy dude they just hired as he picks out what hes gonna need to work on their house for $10/hr
That's my favorite! Specialy when they turn to you & say something stupid about the HO, all I can do is laugh!
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Old 08-01-2007, 11:11 PM   #19
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Re: Funniest Home Center Story


Today! I had a customer call me and ask if I could come and set a Water heater for them. I said sure! Then he said well I already bought one and it's here already. I said, that's fine. When I got there they had their water heater straped on top of their (smurf blue) ford festiva (at least they used tie downs.) My first thought was what did I get myself into?? Then the HO came out to greet me and help me get it off of his car. (wearing white tee shirt, tan shorts , and navy blue sock pulled up to his knees with white tennis shoes on) I hope when I get that old my wife will not let me go in public like that!!

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Old 08-02-2007, 05:19 AM   #20
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Re: Funniest Home Center Story


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The funniest thing I ever saw was in the early 90's. There was a guy with a Volkswagon Beetle (60's/70's model), strapping 3 or 4 long 2x4's under the car. Slid them under, front to back, and lashed them up to the front and back bumpers. I hope he took the potholes and manhole covers gently, otherwise he might have pole vaulted the whole thing.
Actually several years ago my Mom got some 3/4 pipe and they tied it underneath her 66 Fury. Made it home just fine. Never would have thought of doing that.

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