Questions For The Paint GURU?

paint_booger

A question?

paint_booger

I love wall papering. It's relaxing.

MakDeco

Ditto that!

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STUMPFOOT

Mr. Booger, Can you help me with these conundrums:


If Jimmy cracks corn and no one cares, why is there a song about him?


Why does mineral water that has "trickled through mountains for centuries" go out of date next year?


If the professor on Giligan's Island can make a radio out of coconut, why can't he fix a hole in a boat?

Why do people point to their wrist when asking for the time, but people don't point to their crotch when they ask where the bathroom is?


Can blind people see their dreams?


Why do they call it "getting your dog fixed" if afterwards it doesn't work anymore?

Why do they call it taking a dump? Shouldn't it be leaving a dump?

Where in the nursery rhyme does it say humpty dumpty is an egg?

Why do they sterilize needles for lethal injections?


If electricity comes from electrons, does morality come from morons?

Why does Donald Duck wear a towel when he comes out of the shower, when he doesn't usually wear any pants?


If a cat always lands on its feet, and buttered bread always lands butter side down, what would happen if you tied buttered bread on top of a cat?

If the #2 pencil is the most popular, why's it still #2?

What color would a smurf turn if you choked it?

paint_booger

If you get overspray on the bottom of a cabinet ... shouldn't it be called "underspray"? Yes.

If the drywaller used screws, shouldn't they be called "screw-pops"? Yes.

George Z

We can make BEHR work, if we really have to.

1- Problems: Do a search. People here love it. Look for posts by some guy named Slickshift.

2- It is sold by the Devil As a principle, they won't get our money.

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Zip

Here goes...are you a painter, painting contractor, material manufacturer?...in business?...how long?
I've been giving prices of how much, then painting, or having painted resi & comm for about 40 yrs and I still don't get the fact that regardless of paperwork, some people just can't be trusted.

paint_booger

First painted as a kid - 10 yrs old. A few times.

Painted parents house at 13 - little by little Not very good, but free.
It was a chore.

Painted for neighbors at 15.

Foreman for a small nonunion company at 18.

Started my own company at 20.

Grew it to 25 painters and a couple office people by 30.

Hundreds (thousands?) of estimates.

Divorce dismantled the company - been running all kinds of union jobs since.

I've seen all sides to the business, and done just about everything. I'm not a fan of stage work - painting the exterior of sky scrapers. I'm more comfortable with a brush or a pen in my hand.

George Z

I heard that If you paint with it long enough, radishes sprout ouf of your ears...
They should list TDS and MSDS in their website like anyone else

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paint_booger

I've never had radishes grow out of my ears before, but my fingers did start turning a little pink while using their decking stain. I'm glad the deck wasn't any bigger. That may have been the first symptom.

furiousstyles

Kudos to stumpfoot for a humor break!

paint_booger

Michelangelo finished painting the ceiling in the sistine chappel and gave the bill to the pope. The pope told him "I said Two Coats!"

Paul_R

O Mighty Guru :Thank you for the encouragement. I have borrowed a copy of "The E Myth Contractor" and have been reading it during my recuperation. It is a really good book. Now for some more questions.

As you may know there seems to be a continuing debate over paint coverage, What are your ideas on one coat coverage?

How do you measure the thickness of paint film?

A local contractor is advertising in the classified adds that they use a "lifetime exterior paint-never paint again". What in the world is he smoking? Should I call and ask what brand it is? Or MYOB?

Salutations, eagerly awaiting your response. Paul

paint_booger

One coat coverage ...

Awesome for new construction primes using a dead flat. Our cost for SW CHB is $8 per gallon, and touch-up with the dead flat is awesome. It makes good $ sense for the paint contractor during new construction, but it will bite into the repaint guy. The walls are just plain "THIRSTY". The repaint guy will walk in thinking 10 gallons, and burn up 15 to 20. And if it's an eggshell or better ... 2 coats.

As far as film thickness ...

I believe you are talking about "wet film thickness". Many contractors have requirements as to the wet film thickness, and angle of refraction for the gloss levels you use. You can get a wet filmthickness gauge from your local Sher Wms store. It looks like a metal credit card with grooves around the edges. You spray and backroll the drywall, then push the card on the surface. The grooves are different depths, and the depth of your paint coat will be evident by the lack of paint on the recessed edge. Imagine a hair comb with teath of different lenghts. Say 1/8 inch incraments. Measure the depth of your shag carpet in incraments of 1/8 inch. Same as the wet paint but it is measured in microns. 1 inch = 25.4 microns. A 7 mil wet film is plenty.

Lifetime exterior paint ...

I have a bridge I want to sell you. Let me tell you a story about when I was an "expert witness" for a small clames law suit. The painter gave a 7 year guarantee against chipping on a house that was 80 years old. After 3 years the window glaze and paint was chipping ... as we all would figure. The judge used me as a tool to gauge the amount of work it would take to return the house to the condition it was in 3 years prior. "What % would be scraping? What % would be sanding? What % would be priming?" ... and so on. When we were done with those questions, the judge asked me if I had any comments.

I said, "It wasn't this guy's paint that chipped, it was the guy's paint that was aplied in the 1950's that chipped. This painter's paint is still sticking to the paint chips. (The guy who paid me to be a witness turned thao blue.)

"But he guaranteed 7 years without chipping.

"I would have only done that if I charged tripple to begin with, or guaranteed MY PAINT not to chip. His contract just says "chipping". Go figure!" Judge gave my client $3000.

Your lifetime guarantees are as good as the LLC that writes them.

Get well Paul.

paint_booger

It was a bizare question ...

being asked to be an "Expert witness" in a small claims case ...

but the guy who owned the house was a lawyer,

and payed me a fee ($200)

which was done before my testomony,

and entered it into the court records ...

I said ... what the hell ... half a day (1991) ... 200 bucks ... lets go.

Kind of flattering ... being in the right place at the right time helps.

Put that on your resumee ... LOL.

Tom Rohland

Paint Guru,

Questions:

1. Do you use a crystal ball?

2. Is there anything you don't know about painting?

3. Do you know the Shell Answer Man?

4. What would it cost to hire you fulltime as the "GURU"?


Tom Rohland, Jr.
Ranger Painting & Pressure Cleaning, Inc.
Lake Mary, Florida

paint_booger

1) No.
2) Yes.
3) He's chained to the wall in the basement at BP.
4) The real question is, "How much would you make by having me as your full time guru."

plazaman

guru, please answer my question in this thread

http://www.contractortalk.com/f8/painting-limestone-rails-spindles-23511/

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paint_booger

Try these 2 links.

http://www.archpainting.com/ask_a_pro/chalking.htm

http://www.sherwin-williams.com/pro/...t/index_p2.jsp

paint_booger

Plazaman,

I must admit your questions are in the grey areas of my memory. Its been 15 years since I've done that kind of work. Although I do remember it well. Just make sure all of the h2o has worked it's way out before you prime. You don't want to lock it in (it will find it's way out.) I used Ben Moore products ... even had the BM guy come out to set me up with the right stuff.

From what I read, and what I researched last night ... you are on the right track! Those products all look like winners. One little tip though, call the SW district mngr, and have him set you up with the exact product you need. Doing that releases you of the liability if anything goes wrong. I'm all about "differing liability and creating credibility". Your customer wont think you are clueless ... on the contrary ... they will be very impressed by the fact that you want to do the very best for them!

The SW guy will probably give you some free paint for the asking too. That's all they do ... drive around and promote their products. Make him feel like he's the know it all, and he'll smother you in free stuff.