Practical Jokes And Idiotic Moves.

4thGeneration

One time when we were all going to the store for a lunch break. My Uncle had this guy working for him forever, but was a real tool. Anyhow this heman as he thought of himself slapped his female body inspector hat on before he gave the ladies a treat by seeing him in the store. What he did not know was earlier in the day we took some paint and matched it to the color of his hat to block out the letters FE. So in essence he was walking in the store wearing his "MALE body inspector hat" He came up to the counter with his items and the raised eyebrow of confidence when the counter babe started to giggle. He said whats so funny darling.She pointed and re-read what the hat said. This guy took off the hat, read it and cursed us for every mother in the book. Good thing we did not have company tees lol.

farrellpainting

I've got thousands, but this one came to mind.

When I was younger my freind passed out at my house from too much smokin, it was only about 9pm, keep in mind he had to be home at ten, so I got my moms old bingo marker out and polka dotted his whole face, then I set my clock ahead to 11pm.I woke him up at 9:10 all frantically,I was like ohhh man it's eleven you gotta go, he was all pissed and told me his dad was gonna beat his azz, well he flew out of my house ran all the way home opened his door and began apoligizing to his dad for being late...... with blue polka dots all on his face! I guess he still got reamed out for bein a damn idiot, but oh well!He was a good sport about it!

send_it_all

Practicle Jokes ?

...Guy's I used to work with used to slap the rainbow gay pride stickers on each other's cars...

One of those guys, a foreman no less, used to torture a deaf guy we had on the crew by farting near him all the time. Sometimes he would change it up by farting into a newly installed base cabinet and then telling the deaf guy to go install the shelves.

Idiotic moves?

...Same deaf guy operating screw gun on one side of a wall to back screw panels to the other side of wall...where non-deaf guy was holding same panel in place to wait for deaf guy to screw panel from behind...(can I say that?)...anyway, 2 inch screw got mixed in with a bunch of 1-1/4" screws....through panel into guy's hand...deaf guy cant hear screaming...hilarity ensues...

Friend of mine and I are installing laminate flooring in a house...He is operating table saw while I watch and has his hand in a position where he would be cut if he doesnt move his hand, which I'm thinking he will do any second now...but its getting closer and closer...so I yell "HEY!!!" so he jerks his hand away just in time that there is a tiny nick in it with a single drop of blood...

NCC

I once convined an apprentice that reversing the blade on a circ saw, going out to the concrete curb and lowering whil running would sharpen the blade, got an s chewing from the foreman but later would tell the story laughing ! Another classic nailing or screwing pouches down or up hanging off gable peak soffit.

farrellpainting

Once I cut a chunk of my buddy's hair off and super glued it to his forehead!

After that random people started drawnig all over his face, clown lips, big black eyes, dual phallus&ballsack on checks into mouth, and whatever else our drunk azzes did.We took a picture of him, blew it up and hung it up in the office of our high school!

4thGeneration

The same guy from my earlier story was working on a commercial job at night. They were supposed to use the stairs only. Well he thought he would sneak and use the elevator. He loaded everything into the elevator and puched the button to go down. Nothing happened after 5 minutes so he went down the stairs to tell my Uncle. They had no key and when he saw it he screamed to not let the door shut. He came down and my Uncle said whats the problem. He said he got on the elevator with all the equipment and pushed three to come down. My Uncle said you are on the 3rd floor stupid you have to push one to come down. My Uncle said no problem. I will push the button. Bring the elevator down and we will get our stuff. Well, 5 minutes went by and nothing. The guy told my Uncle that the elevator would come down except for the igloo he placed in the door jamb to keep the door from shutting while he loaded the elevator. My Uncle was lucky enough to get hold of the maintenance guy instead of having to call the big wheel.

farrellpainting

I made this sweet three wheeled bike when I was a kid.Well when I wasn't lookin some dumbazz took it for a spin and ended up crashing it into a fence and breaking a lot of stuff on it!When I found out about it I ran inside, got a roll of duct tape,ran outside, tackled him, picked him up threw him into my lamp post and then, what else.......I duct taped him to the lamp post, and then went inside for dinner. He was actually still stuck on it almost an hour later when I went to go check on him, then I let him loose.It was all fun and games!

4thGeneration

I will always try to not name names,but when I was in high school I lettered football varsity all three years. On this varsity team was several young guys like myself. While at a local all u can eat which is what they called it back then in 89 instead of buffet, my friend who is a police officer now took a dump in the urinal wall unit. The manager came in while it was going on and our team got banned from the eating establishment. On game nite this was not a cool thing. Lucky we won. That was one consolation prize. You know come to think of it. Most of my friends who are officers now were the trouble makers then. Funny how when you run into them and the younger officers are calling them sarge or mr. I laugh and say are you kidding?

MarvinWilleyJr

What about the old lit cig in the 5 in 1 pocket of our whites!

Better be a good friend or be ready to defend your self..........

Joewho

I was doing an apt. once and kept getting marks on the wall. I checked and checked again, but the roller was clean.

Turns out I picked up a ladies false fingernail somewhere along the way. Really hard to find on a roller.
Dropping a whole pack in a 5 is a dirty trick I've been saving, but haven't used.


Had a friend, blind in one eye and glasses. He fell asleep at another friends house who didn't know he was blind in one eye. So he puts shaving cream on the blind side of his glasses. Guy wakes up, but doesn't know the difference .

Years ago I worked at Bally unloading games for the assembly line. 3 of us. Two of us worked and the other guy always stood around talking to the boss. One time when it was really busy, I hid his dolly and complained to the boss that he wasnt' working......

BMAN

I used to run a shipping dock and we had a very fun crew, one day the phone on my desk rings and I pick it up, and put it to my head only to feel the strangest sensation. It was covered in white lithium grease! I took my licks and waited to get revenge. I put clear tape across the front of my bosses desk so when he went to sit down he couldnt put his legs under the desk.

Then there is always saran wrap over the toilet bowl!!!!!

Humble Abode

Anyone who wears one of those hats deserves whatever they get...

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Just because some of us can read and write and do a little math, that doesn't mean we deserve to conquer the Universe. Kurt Vonnegut, (1922 - 2007) from the Novel 'Hocus Pocus'
The NAPP
Milwaukee Painting Contractor

DPainting

This is going back 11 years ago when I was 20, we worked for a GC who sub-ed out part of the paint work of a 2 block section of exterior columns and spindel work to 2 guys who were brothers.

We were set up to help them as well so in total there were 5 of us. Well while cleaning up at the end of a day one of my buddies left a FIVE'R with out the top on by mistake and there was rain forcast for that night. Then next day it was clear to paint and by lunch time one of the subs goes to clean his hands in a FIVE'R he thought was set up with water to clean your hands and proceeds to dunk his arms into a 1/3 paint and 1/3 water upto his FOREARMS was all that could come out of his mouth!.....priceless! haha Hated us till the end of that job!

TempestV

had a friend that got ahold of a friend of his' bags and ziptied all the tools except for the utiltiy knife to the bags themselves. so the next morning, he puts the bags on, reaches for his tape, and finds it connected to his bags. a little mad, he reaches for his utility knife, only to find out that they took the blades out.

4thGeneration

I once sent a helper we had to ask the super what color "Jamaican" stain root he wanted us to stain his cabinets. He was called every ignorant name in the book lol. That helper could not take the jokes and left. All the better because he sucked at painting, but was a good target to make look stoooopid.

TempestV

Stupid moves- was working with a guy that would try to carry a 12" speed square in his bags, which would fall out every other step, and then he couldn't find it when he needed it. worse yet, he kept it up for two weeks.

mdshunk

I worked at a factory with this one notable fella that we'll call "Russ" (because that was his name ). He would snack on anything people had sitting out. Open a bag of chips or a pack of cookies, and if Russ happened by, he'd snag one. It's not a real big deal, but he did this constantly to everyone. He was a human garbage disposal.

This really worked on the nerves of one machinist in particular, so he decided to set Russ up. He opened a pack of Ritz crackers, and squeezed out an ample supply of white lithium grease on a paper plate and placed a plastic knife on the plate next to the grease, to complete the effect. A half-dozen of us who were in the know as to what the sting was in the maintenance shop assumed our vantage positions and kept an eye on the Ritz crackers and white grease. Just like clockwork, Russ strolled through, buttered a cracker with grease, and popped it in his mouth. The look on his face was priceless. He spit it out in the waste can right away, and never mentioned it to anyone. We all saw it go down, and each of us managed to keep our composure (Russ was an arm-wrestling champ, and would have seriously beat down a fella if he thought he was being set up). That was only topped by the guy that offered Russ a rotten salami sandwich that had been stewing in the break room on a shelf for days. Russ took a bite, and then things got ugly. Good think the guy that offered him the rotten sandwich was a big farm boy.

TempestV

heard about a joke a while ago- Guy 1 gets to the site, locks his truck and goes into the building to work. Guy 2 grabs the forklift, picks up guy 1's truck, and "parks" it between two trees that leave about an inch between the trees and the front and rear bumper.

PressurePros

We had this real arrogant clown that worked with us in a beer distributor. One day we made up a sign that read "Honk if you think the driver is a HOMO"

When we were leaving that day, I went over to his car to distract him while another employee stuck it to his passenger door. The next day he strolls in looking extra smug. I gave him the usual "hey, man whats up" We all lost it when he said in his typical conceited tone, "Just another day of looking good, you should've seen the carload of hot chicks that just beeped at me when I was pulling into the lot." That resulted in a further action of taping a piece of sheet metal over his license plate that read HIV POS. The rest of his time with us he spent all of his feeble brain power trying to get even. I had six employees that liked their paychecks too much to help him out. One day he tried the old flipping the drawer upside down trick. I sent out two guys and had them use a roll of box tape over his roof and around both doors over and over again until the roll was depleted. He had to razor blade his way in, then the tape melted and you have seen the gooey mess.

He eventually went on to become a township cop and was busted out the following year in a sex scandal. Go figure.

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Ken Fenner
Pressure Washing PA
Roof Cleaning Services PA

Brushslingers

Stopped in the local store to buy a cold one on the way home for me and the crew.. happened to be a feed store, there was this basket of "treats" on the counter named pepperoni ribs... the whole counter is covered in dog treats, eagle comes up from the bathroom and I say "Hey dude, wanna rib?" He says SURE and grabs one, proceeds to chew on it and walks out the door.. shoulda seen the look on the countermans face! Eagle was really mad while I laughed all the way home.

One time I had this helped named Mikey... I told him in order to REALLY be a painter, he had to taste paint... long story short he stuck his finger in the primer we were using and stuck it in his mouth... took me 20 minutes to stop laughing.

Yes, i'm a prankster.

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Benn