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You Know You're A Redneck When.....
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03-17-2008, 09:06 PM
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#1 |
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Remodeling Professionals
Trade: Remodeling Contractor
Join Date: Dec 2007
Location: South Jersey Shore
Posts: 1,251
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You Know You're A Redneck When.....
1. You take your dog for a walk and you both use the same tree.
2. You can entertain yourself for more than 15 minutes with a fly swatter. 3. Your boat has not left the driveway in 15 years. 4. You burn your yard rather than mow it. 5. You think "The Nutcracker" is a vice on the work bench 6. The Salvation Army declines your furniture. 7. You offer to give someone the shirt off your back and they don't want it. 8. You have the local taxidermist on speed dial. 9. You come back from the dump with more than you took. 10. You keep a can of Raid on the kitchen table. 11. Your wife can climb a tree faster than your cat. 12. Your grandmother has "ammo" on her Christmas list. 13. You keep flea and tick soap in the shower. 14. You've been involved in a custody fight over a hunting dog. 15. You go to the stock car races and don't need a program. 16. You know how many bales of hay your car will hold. 17. You have a rag for a gas cap. 18. Your house doesn't have curtains, but your truck does. 19. You wonder how service stations keep their restrooms so clean ? 20. You can spit without opening your mouth. 21. You consider your license plate personalized because your father made it. 22. Your lifetime goal is to own a fireworks stand. 23. You have a complete set of salad bowls and they all say "Cool Whip" on the side. 24. The biggest city you've ever been to is Wal*Mart. 25. Your working TV sits on top of your non-working TV 26. You've used your ironing board as a buffet table. 27. A tornado hits your neighborhood and does $100,000 worth of improvements. 28. You've used a toilet brush to scratch your back. 29. You missed your 5th grade graduation because you were on jury duty. 30. You think fast food is hitting a deer at 65. |
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Warning: The topics covered on this site include activities in which there exists the potential for serious injury
or death. ContractorTalk.com DOES NOT guarantee the accuracy or completeness of any information contained on this site. Always use proper safety precaution and reference reliable outside sources before attempting any construction or remodeling task!
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03-17-2008, 09:13 PM
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#2 |
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Pro
Trade: masonry
Join Date: Feb 2008
Location: Glen Burnie MD.
Posts: 174
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Re: You Know You're A Redneck When.....
31 Your home of your dreams is a double wide
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03-17-2008, 09:51 PM
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#3 |
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Plumber / Carpenter
Trade: Virginia Building and plumbing contractor
Join Date: Mar 2006
Location: Farmville, Va
Posts: 1,647
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Re: You Know You're A Redneck When.....
#32 If you ever held a family reunion at a jail or prison
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03-17-2008, 09:56 PM
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#4 |
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The Grand Wazoo
Trade: It blowed up real good!
Join Date: May 2007
Location: Illinois
Posts: 3,090
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Re: You Know You're A Redneck When.....
33. Your wife has to ask you to remove the transmission from the tub so that she can take a bath.
__________________
A flush is better than a full house. |
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03-17-2008, 10:04 PM
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#5 |
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Member
Join Date: Jul 2007
Posts: 51
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Re: You Know You're A Redneck When.....
34. Your first date is a trip to the tattoo parlor.
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03-17-2008, 10:15 PM
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#6 |
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Plumber / Carpenter
Trade: Virginia Building and plumbing contractor
Join Date: Mar 2006
Location: Farmville, Va
Posts: 1,647
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Re: You Know You're A Redneck When.....
35 When your wife has more tattoos than you do
36 When a Jack-O-Lantern has more teeth than you |
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03-17-2008, 10:19 PM
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#7 |
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The Grand Wazoo
Trade: It blowed up real good!
Join Date: May 2007
Location: Illinois
Posts: 3,090
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Re: You Know You're A Redneck When.....
37. Your grandmother doesn't bother to remove the Marlboro from her lips while she tells the state trooper to kiss her ass.
__________________
A flush is better than a full house. |
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03-17-2008, 10:25 PM
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#8 |
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Plumber / Carpenter
Trade: Virginia Building and plumbing contractor
Join Date: Mar 2006
Location: Farmville, Va
Posts: 1,647
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Re: You Know You're A Redneck When.....
38 If you graduate from grade school the same year as your nephew
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03-17-2008, 10:39 PM
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#9 |
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Sharp Improvements
Trade: Remodeling
Join Date: Jan 2007
Location: Wilmington, N.C.
Posts: 554
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Re: You Know You're A Redneck When.....
39- you say"git-r-done"
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03-17-2008, 10:47 PM
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#10 |
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Gus
Trade: Remodel, specialize in flooring
Join Date: Feb 2008
Location: Papillion,Nebraska
Posts: 81
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Re: You Know You're A Redneck When.....
40- All of your hunting trips include breaking the law.
__________________
Never trust a man that doesn't fish-my grandma |
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03-17-2008, 10:47 PM
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#11 |
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The Grand Wazoo
Trade: It blowed up real good!
Join Date: May 2007
Location: Illinois
Posts: 3,090
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Re: You Know You're A Redneck When.....
40. You have cut up your previous house to cash in the scrap aluminum.
__________________
A flush is better than a full house. |
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03-18-2008, 01:10 AM
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#12 |
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Pro
Trade: general contractor/ remodeling
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Orange County, Ca.
Posts: 1,989
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Re: You Know You're A Redneck When.....
If you've ever mowed your lawn and found a car.
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03-18-2008, 01:11 AM
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#13 |
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Pro
Trade: general contractor/ remodeling
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Orange County, Ca.
Posts: 1,989
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Re: You Know You're A Redneck When.....
If you used your lottery winnings to put a new roof on your trailer.
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03-18-2008, 10:31 AM
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#14 |
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listen twice talk once!
Trade: electrician
Join Date: Oct 2005
Location: Orange county California
Posts: 668
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Re: You Know You're A Redneck When.....
42 you have a shirt that says I snatch kisses and vice versa.
43. once a year you have to change the oil in your jeans. |
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03-18-2008, 01:24 PM
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#15 |
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Gus
Trade: Remodel, specialize in flooring
Join Date: Feb 2008
Location: Papillion,Nebraska
Posts: 81
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Re: You Know You're A Redneck When.....
__________________
Never trust a man that doesn't fish-my grandma |
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03-18-2008, 06:32 PM
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#16 |
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Plumber / Carpenter
Trade: Virginia Building and plumbing contractor
Join Date: Mar 2006
Location: Farmville, Va
Posts: 1,647
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Re: You Know You're A Redneck When.....
When people start comming to your house for automotive parts
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03-18-2008, 07:16 PM
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#17 |
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"da Whale don't hesitate"
Trade: Hard Surface Flooring
Join Date: Jan 2006
Location: South Florida
Posts: 2,341
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Re: You Know You're A Redneck When.....
Your porch collapses and kills more than 4 dogs.
__________________
Precision Flooring (772) 237-9900 Tile, Hardwood, Laminate, and Resilient Installation, Sales & Repair - "We do it right the FIRST time" |
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03-18-2008, 07:21 PM
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#18 |
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Pro
Trade: Residential Contractor
Join Date: Feb 2004
Location: Jensen Beach, FL
Posts: 10,475
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Re: You Know You're A Redneck When.....
44. Hubcaps and sliced/reconfigured tires are considered yard decor.
45. You go to a family reunion looking to 'hook up'.
__________________
You can't solve you're problems with the same level of thinking that created the problems. Albert Einstein |
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03-18-2008, 07:24 PM
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#19 |
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Pro
Trade: masonry
Join Date: Feb 2008
Location: Glen Burnie MD.
Posts: 174
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Re: You Know You're A Redneck When.....
44 one of your husbands wedding vowels is to promise not to make your mother pull his finger.
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03-18-2008, 08:05 PM
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#20 |
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Plumber / Carpenter
Trade: Virginia Building and plumbing contractor
Join Date: Mar 2006
Location: Farmville, Va
Posts: 1,647
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Re: You Know You're A Redneck When.....
If local law enforcement has your number on speed dial
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