Snow, Oh Beautiful Snow

Ed the Roofer

It's that time of year again, to take in all of the wonderment that Nature showers upon us.

Let's re-live those memories from the amazing insight of this wonderful couple, who are first experiencing tha majesty of a freshly fallen snow at their new winter retreat.

Sit back and listen to their thought for the next few moments and share there wonderment.

Ed





December 8th:


It's starting to snow. The first of the season and the first one we've seen in years. The wife and I got out our hot buttered rums and set by the picture window, watching the snow flakes drift down, clinging to the trees and covering the ground. It was soooo beautiful.



December 9th:


We awoke to a lovely blanket of crystal white snow covering the landscape, what a beautiful sight. Every tree and shrub covered with a beautiful white mantel. I shoveled for the first time in years and loved it. I did our driveway, our sidewalk, and even the neighblrs walk. Later a snowplow came along and accidentally covered up our driveway with compacted snow from the street. The driver smiled and waved. I smiled back and shoveled it again.



December 10th:


It snowed an additional 6 inches last night and the temperature dropped to around 11 degrees. Several limbs on the trees and shrubs snapped due to the weight of the snow. I shoveled the driveway again, heck with the neighbors walk. Shortly afterwards, the snowplow came by and did his trick again. Much of the snow is now brownish grey.



December 11th:


It warmed up enough today to create some slush which soon became ice when the temperature dropped again. I bought snow tires for both cars. Fell on my ass in the driveway. $145.00 to a chiropractor, but nothing was broken. More snow and ice expected.



December 12th:


Still Friggin cold. Sold the wife's car and bought a 4 X 4 in order to get her to work. Slid into a guard rail anyway and did a considerable amount of damage to the right rear quarter panel. Had another 8 inches of the white Chit last night. Both vehicles covered in salt and crud. More shoveling in store for me. That Godddamn snowplow came by and buried me again.



December 13th:


2 degrees outside. More Fricking snow. Not a tree or shrub on our property that hasn't been damaged. Power was out most of the night. No Fricking heat. Tried to keep from freezing to death with the candles and a kerosene heater. Heater tipped over and nearly burned the house down. I managed to put the flames out but suffered second degree burns on my hand and lost all my eyelashes and eyebrows. Car slid on ice on way to emergency room and was totaled.



December 14th:


GodDarn Mother-Frickin white Chit keeps on coming down. Have to put on all the clothes we own just to get to the Fricking mail box. If I ever catch the son of a bitch that drives the snowplow, I'll chew his chest off and rip out his heart. I think he hides around the corner and waits for me to finish shoveling and then comes down the street about 100 mph and buries the ficking driveway. Power still off and the toilet is frozen. Can't Piss or Chit inside. Roof is starting to cave in.



December 15th:


6 more GodDarn Fricking inches of Fricking snow and Fricking sleet and Fricking ice and goddomn knows what other kind of white Fricking Chit fell last night. I wounded that Fricking snowplow dickhead with an ice axe, but the FrickHead got away. Wife left me. Fricking car won't start. I think I'm going snowblind. I can't move my toes. My dick is almost frozen solid. Haven't seen the sun in weeks. More snow predicted. Wind chill factor is -33 degrees. GodDarn it, I'm moving back south.

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Brock

Please have your wife hide the guns,knives, and razor blades.

mickeyco

I was starting to get angry until I read further, then it started sounding like my typical winter.





.

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Some people climb mountains. I take out the trash. But we both do it for the same reason.

Floorwizard

Sounds right to me

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"in 20 years you will regret more what you did not do than what you did"

OCRS

I remember reading that a couple of years ago, laughed my a55 off. Especially with the uncensored version.

Ed the Roofer

The unedited version wound up falling into the hands of the auto editor for bad words, so I changed it so there wouldn't be a bunch of asterisks filling up the whole page.

Ed

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concretemasonry

Ed - Great post!! It sort of parallels the guy that decides to heat with wood and bought a saw, trailer, bigger truck, injured a few and ost his wife and house.

I have learned through the years and traveling that winter is 50% physical and 100% mental state of mind. You cannot change it, so enjoy it!

We have very little snow in Minneapolis/St. Paul with a little on some roofs and grass poking up on the ground. There is only 1-2" predicted, so everyone left town to go north to the lake homes (8-10" and blizzrd conditions predicted) to get snowed in, have "blizzrd parties" and hopefully do some snowmobiling. Most will be back Tuesday or Wednesday morning since there will be no work ouside unless pretected/scheduled, like concrete. You just spin your whels when it is -10F and lower with the wind chill. You might as well as enjoy it and make the best of it!

I remember getting up at 4:00 AM to check the weather and then immediately drove 150 miles to my lake cabin to get snowed in for a few days. No power outages because underground power and I had cable TV and my computer, so it was a vaction. I had to park nose out at the end of my driveway to get pulled out when after the county plowed the 22" of snow. The car did not run too well at first with snow packed under the hood because of the drifting. - A good very long week-end.

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Dick

Engineer, designer and consultant recently active domestically and internationally on construction and design in about 35 countries.