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Quick Jokes
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08-27-2007, 12:13 AM
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#1 |
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Pro Plumber
Trade: Plumber
Join Date: Oct 2006
Posts: 2,779
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Quick Jokes
What it the difference between roast beef and pea soup?
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08-27-2007, 01:24 AM
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#2 |
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Pro
Trade: Plumbing & Electrical
Join Date: Jun 2006
Location: SoCal
Posts: 1,195
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Re: Quick Jokes
Anyone can roast beef.
What does a fish smoke?
__________________
"....And then we all switch places when I ring the bell" -Adrock 
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09-30-2007, 12:54 PM
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#3 | |
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Super B
Trade: General Contractor Lic. since 1985
Join Date: Mar 2007
Location: Socal Ground Zero
Posts: 4,166
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Re: Quick JokesQuote:
Man talking to friend. I am filing for divorce, my wife hasn't spoken to me in 3 months. Friend to man. You might want to rethink that, a woman like that is hard to find.
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09-30-2007, 01:13 PM
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#4 |
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Pro
Trade: General Contractor, Remodeler
Join Date: Feb 2007
Location: Eugene, OR.
Posts: 825
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Re: Quick Jokes
How many flies does it take to screw in a light bulb?
Just two, but I dunno how they got in there......... |
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12-05-2007, 04:53 PM
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#5 |
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Pro Plumber
Trade: Plumber
Join Date: Oct 2006
Posts: 2,779
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Re: Quick Jokes
Why females should avoid a girls night out after they are MARRIED....
 If this does not make you laugh out loud, you have lost your sense of humor. The other night I was invited out for a night with the "girls." I told my husband that I would be home by midnight, "I promise!" Well, the hours passed and the margarita's went down way too easily. Around 3 a.m., a bit loaded, I headed for home. Just as I got in the door, the cuckoo clock in the hallway started up and cuckooed 3 times. Quickly, realizing my husband would probably wake up, I cuckooed another 9 times. I was really proud of myself for coming up with such a quick-witted solution, in order to escape a possible conflict with him. (Even when totally smashed... 3 cuckoos plus 9 cuckoos totals 12 cuckoos - MIDNIGHT!) The next morning my husband asked me what time I got in, I told him "MIDNIGHT"... He didn't seem pissed off in the least. Whew, I got away with that one! Then he said "We need a new cuckoo clock." When I asked him why, he said, "Well, last night our clock cuckooed three times, then said "oh ****." Cuckooed 4 more times, cleared its throat, cuckooed another three times, giggled, cuckooed twice more, and then tripped over the coffee table and farted. |
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12-07-2007, 09:17 PM
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#6 |
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Super B
Trade: General Contractor Lic. since 1985
Join Date: Mar 2007
Location: Socal Ground Zero
Posts: 4,166
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Re: Quick Jokes
The original Bikers Wallet on a chain was invented for Alzheimer's patients.
How many divorced men does it take to change a light bulb ? None, because the never get the house.
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Last edited by skyhook; 12-09-2007 at 12:20 AM. |
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