A new start - Contractor Talk - Professional Construction and Remodeling Forum

woodchuck2 · 11-03-2009, 10:50 PM

Well, i signed my seperation papers today. I left the wife a month ago after many years of stress/mental abuse. I changed careers, moved my son "from a former relationship" out of the home and nothing worked. We saw 2 different marriage counselors and that didnt work. Her drinking has gotten way out of hand so i decided it was time to leave. She accused of me cheating on her for several yrs now and i was always faithful, she was very controlling and never seemed happy. In the end she said i was the reason why she drank, well the problem is solved. The divorce is uncontested and will now proceed with no issue.

Now this is where i will get flamed. I was engaged to a woman 10yrs ago who i was deeply in love with but she broke it off with me with her parents influence. I was devastated when this happened and never figured i would speak to her again. She since married, divorced "no kids" and has been single since. She approached me about starting a relationship again when she heard i was getting out of my marriage. Apparently she kept tabs on me for quite some time and still had very strong feelings for me. She is 6yrs younger than i, highly eduacated, very faithful, very clean, very attractive and alot of fun to be with. She has learned to be in control of her own life and we have even more in common now than we did before. I guess time does change people and for her it was certainly for the better. She is all for me getting my son back and we are getting our own place next week. Sorry for the long post.

**genecarp** · 11-03-2009, 10:58 PM

Congratulations, sounds like some well deserved good times are in your future, GMOD

Tinstaafl · 11-03-2009, 11:02 PM

I'd never flame anyone for getting out of a bad situation and into a better one.

But FWIW, from just the short info posted, all my instincts scream "Too soon!"

No matter what we say, you're going to do what your gut tells you to.

angus242 · 11-03-2009, 11:11 PM

Just try to enjoy yourself in the present. Try not to dwell on the past nor script your future so soon.

Good luck to you!

Meetre · 11-03-2009, 11:25 PM

You shouldn't have to be miserable at home. Are you happy?

Then all is good!!

dkillianjr · 11-03-2009, 11:56 PM

Good luck to you woodchuck! It sounds like you are gonna be a lot happier.

Dave

Wolfgang · 11-04-2009, 07:18 AM

Do what's right for you. Hope all goes well.

woodchuck2 · 11-04-2009, 07:57 AM

Thanks guys, we both thought about it thinking it might be too soon but we both agreed that it does feel right. We dated for quite awhile and knew each other well when we split 10yrs ago, now we are just picking up where we left off

. Apparently i influenced her alot when we were together before. She always seemed high maintenance and would try to change me in some ways. But we were always happy together and we only argued once and thats when she left me. Since then she said she couldnt find anyone like me and decided i was the right guy. So for the last 3 yrs since she got divorced she waited for me, problem was i didnt know it or i would have seperated long ago. She now enjoys car shows and off-roading "claims it turns her on", she drinks from mason jars and loves driving my trucks. Probably the biggest thing is she is willing to accept my son, he is 16 now and will be on his own in a couple years. She is a certified teacher but hates teaching and she is a sales director for Mary Kay. She met my son already while she was subbing and she liked him, i asked him if he knew her and he got all embarrassed on the phone. I guess he seems to like her, must be some kind of a teenage crush on the young teacher thing i guess. Anyway, again i apologize for the long post.

camaroman2125 · 11-04-2009, 08:21 AM

When my parents divorced both of them were unhappy. You could always tell when it was a holiday around our house because my mom became a major BIOTCH, which pissed dad off, so they were constantly fighting, and that made everyone miserable. Now that they are divorced everything has changed. Dad went right into another relationship and has been remarried for 7 years now. Everyone is a lot happier too. Mom is normal now around the holidays, and just in general too. She even gets along very well with my dad and step-mom now.

I guess what I'm saying is whatever makes you happy, do it.

fireguy · 11-04-2009, 08:55 AM

After my divorce, I was told the first woman you get serious about, won't last. I found a great woman, wonderfull kids. Did not last, I needed a chance to decide what I really needed/wanted.

Ever notice how each woman declares "You are perfect, jsut what I want" Then they want to change you. It starts with your clothing, then your music, literature, your house. If you are not careful, you become someone else and not you. Then you realize, you do not like yourself, because you have been changed to fit someone elses ideal.

Cdat · 11-04-2009, 09:40 AM

What? Didn't learn your lesson the 1st time? Need a beating to see the light? Well, move in with this other lady and I'm taking wagers here that it'll not last but you're the boss now..... you call the shots. Good luck....

....you'll need it.

Bone Saw · 11-04-2009, 10:12 AM

[quote=woodchuck2;800639]She accused of me cheating on her for several yrs now and i was always faithful, she was very controlling and never seemed happy.[quote]

dude, I've been dealing with this same $h!t for 3 years now, and it has just about worn me down to a nub.

Cdat · 11-04-2009, 11:20 AM

Then cheat on her. If you're being accused of the crime, might as well earn it.

Meetre · 11-04-2009, 12:31 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Cdat

Then cheat on her. If you're being accused of the crime, might as well earn it.

The measure of a man's character is not how he handles himself in good times, but how he handles himself in bad times. ALWAYS do the right thing!

ampman · 11-04-2009, 12:39 PM

be careful of relationships on the rebound take some time and play the feild

tgeb · 11-04-2009, 08:15 PM

Good luck Woodchuck. I wish you the best.

rselectric1 · 11-04-2009, 08:22 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by tgeb

Good luck Woodchuck. I wish you the best.

Me too.

Consider this a new chapter in your life and treat her right!

woodchuck2 · 11-07-2009, 01:09 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by ampman

be careful of relationships on the rebound take some time and play the feild

Some may consider this a rebound but we dont, we already know each other and what to expect so thats a plus. As far as playing the field i have ran my fair share of the bases and made plenty of home runs so i really have no interest in playing around like that anymore. That and i dont think my liver can stand another 6-12 month long drinking binge like i used to do. As long as i am in a relationship i stay sober but when single i am a total drunk. I cant explain it but thats the way its been for the last 20yrs. Thanks again guys, i will post back on this down the road for an update.

ampman · 11-08-2009, 06:33 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by woodchuck2

Some may consider this a rebound but we dont, we already know each other and what to expect so thats a plus. As far as playing the field i have ran my fair share of the bases and made plenty of home runs so i really have no interest in playing around like that anymore. That and i dont think my liver can stand another 6-12 month long drinking binge like i used to do. As long as i am in a relationship i stay sober but when single i am a total drunk. I cant explain it but thats the way its been for the last 20yrs. Thanks again guys, i will post back on this down the road for an update.

when you find the right one no need in wasting time i wish you the very best

mikec · 11-08-2009, 07:15 PM

I've been there kinda. Left 13 months ago,been divorced since march.

Now I have a girlfriend 14 years younger than me

.
After a long stressful day, I climb into bed, and everything goes away.

I heard a lot of crap from people when I hooked up with her, do what you feel you want, only you truly knows you.