Man Laws

Downeast

1. Under no circumstances may two men share an umbrella.

2. It is OK for a man to cry ONLY under the following Circumstances:

a) When a heroic dog dies to save its master.
b) The moment Angelina Jolie starts unbuttoning her blouse.
c) After wrecking your boss's car.


3. Any Man who brings a camera to a bachelor party may be legally killed and
eaten by his buddies.

4. Unless he murdered someone in your family, you must bail a friend out of
jail within 12 hours.

5. If you have known a guy for more than 24 hours, his sister is off limits
forever unless you actually marry her.

6. Moaning about the brand of free beer in a friend's fridge is forbidden.
However, complain at will if the temperature is unsuitable.

7. No man shall ever be required to buy a birthday present for another man.
In fact, even remembering your friend's birthday is strictly optional. At
that point, you must celebrate at a strip bar of the birthday boy's choice.

8. On a road trip, the strongest bladder determines pit stops, not the
weakest.

9. When stumbling upon other guys watching a sporting event, you may ask the score of the game in progress, but you may never ask who is playing.

10. It is permissible to drink a fruity alcohol drink only when you are
sunning on a tropical beach and it is delivered by a topless model and only
when it is free.

11. Only in situations of moral and/or physical peril are you allowed to kick
another guy in the nuts.

12. Unless you are in prison, never fight naked.

13. Friends do not let friends wear Speedos. Ever. Issue closed.

14. If a man's fly is down, that is his problem. You did not see anything.

15. Women who claim they "love to watch sports" must be treated as spies
until they demonstrate knowledge of the game and the ability to drink as much as the other sports watchers.

16. A man in the company of a hot, suggestively dressed woman must remain
sober enough to fight.

17. Never hesitate to reach for the last beer or the last slice of pizza, but
not both, that is just greedy.

18. If you compliment a guy on his six-pack, you had better be talking about
his choice of beer.

19. Never join your girlfriend or wife in discussing a friend of yours,
except if she is withholding sex pending your response.

20. Phrases that may NOT be uttered to another man while lifting weights:

a) Yeah, Baby, Push it!
b) C'mon, give me one more! Harder!
c) Another set and we can hit the showers!

21. Never talk to a man in a bathroom unless you are on equal footing: i.e.,
both urinating, both waiting in line, etc. For all other situations, an
almost imperceptible nod is all the conversation you need.

22. It is acceptable for you to drive her car. It is not acceptable for her
to drive yours.

23. Thou shalt not buy a car in the colors of brown, pink, lime green, orange
or sky blue.

24. The girl who replies to the question, "What do you want for Christmas?"
with "If you loved me, you would know what I want!" gets an Xbox. End of
story.

25. There is no reason for guys to watch Ice Skating or Men's Gymnastics.
Ever.


I hope this clears up any confusion,

The International Council of Man laws, Ltd

Cole

I have seen these before and still laugh everytime.

__________________
Tulsa's Leader in Outdoor Living Construction | Facebook | Tulsa Pergola Builder | Tulsa Outdoor Kitchens

Norrrrrrrrrrrrm

I think I have hair on my chest now...

Teetorbilt

Good!

One of the funniest things that I have ever heard involved a dance instructor with a dock splinter in his foot and the doctor. Kevin lived south of us and John to the north, Kev was the one with the splinter and John extricated it on the back porch. The exchange was priceless and I wish that someone had recorded it.

As I remember:

Stop! That hurts a lot!
It feels like you're pushing it in deeper.
+ much more.

It was a very funny 10 min.

__________________
You can't solve you're problems with the same level of thinking that created the problems.

Albert Einstein