Looking To Rent Land For A Few Hours ... I Will Pay Top Dollar.

Peladu

I, Peladu, need some help from my fellow brothers and sisters here. I need to rent about 20 acres of land for what I am planning to be less than five (5) hours. I am willing to pay $2,500 (two thousand five hundred dollars) to rent this parcel of land for the 5 hours, but I may actually only need the use of the land for two hours.

The specs I am looking for are as follows:
(1)20 acres or more; (2)I am willing to pay an additional $500 if the 20 acres is fenced off; (3)Wooded with some prairie, but prairie land not to exceed 25% of total area; (4)No water coverage totaling over 1 acre; (5)All areas of land must be accessible by foot; (6)There must be no dwellings which are being lived in within the 20 acre parcel of land, no exceptions to this; (7)No livestock should be present while I rent the parcel of land, if livestock is to remain on property you will need to sign a release of liability form; (8)There will be no video taping or still photography allowed for the entire five hours the land is rented; (9)I am willing to sign a release of liability for your insurance company should you request so in writing; (10)The rental of the land parcel is to take place between 11:00pm and 4:00am the following day; (11)You will also be required to sign a confidentiality clause stating you will never disclose any information you may witness during the aforementioned hours of rental; (12)Any fees paid by me to you will be in cash and cash only; (13)Any remaining debris left on land will be discarded by land owner and not the renter; (14)Land must be located with an 6 hour drive, one way, from the city of Chicago, Illinois.

My intention of use for land:
I, Peladu, will show up with a few friends, we will each have a cardboard box and a gun. In the cardboard box will be most likely a cat, or any other sneaky type of animal. At precisely 11:00pm we will release the specific animal into the woods and two warning shots will be fired. After the warning shots, participants will return to my truck to drink beer until midnight. At this time the participants will be fitted with glow sticks as a safety precaution. At exactly 12:00am we are going to hunt, until they are dead, the animals that we brought to the wooded area. Participants will only be allowed to hunt their pet, until it is dead. Shooting a friends animal will not be allowed. But shooting a sneaky friend is within the guidelines, as long as the shot does not cause death or dismemberment. The hunting curfew will be 4:00am, if a participant has not located and shot, until it is dead, the animal they brought, the animal will be abandoned on site. We hope that we do not have to abandon any animal because that would be cruel. Prior to participants leaving beer bottles will be picked up and disposed of properly, carcasses will not.

Backstory:
My wife’s cat refuses to die of natural causes. After many years of looking at this oxygen thief I have decided it’s time for Furr-Ball-Puker-Upper to enter kitty heaven, but this cat most likely will end in hell. This waste of fur has lived for what seems to be 30 years. I unfortunately inherited it, the day I said, “I Do” to my beautiful bride. I am tired of waking up every single morning hoping that today is the day I find it dead. I want to make a small trip, amongst friends, out of it and decided it needed to be fun, three friends all with cats are joining me in this mini-excursion. Only problem is that we need to find a parcel of land within our specs, to do what we need to do. So how about making the dreams of four great guys come through, and let us use your land? You will be compensated with cash.

Peladu

If you own a sneaky animal, or have a sneaky friend, and want to join an excursion I am putting together then let me know … entry fee is $500 and that includes free beer, for an hour, and eight glow sticks. You only need to supply your own transportation, gun, ammunition, and sneaky pet or friend. Only requirement is that you can prove that said sneaky pet is either yours or your neighbors. Sorry, no refunds should you not find and kill your pet before the allotted time. Should you shoot another participants pet, then punishment for that is the owner of the pet you shot gets to shoot you in the foot. If interested let Peladu know.

joasis

I have the 20 acres, with the trees...but no can do...my wife would find out and I would be part of the game. She would be hubby shopping later.

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Peladu

joasis, if another parcel comes up I will let you know ... it can be done !

dirt diggler

yeah, jeez --- my wife would kill me

and im not even married

Peladu

You guys are assuming my wife knows.

For all I know, I haven't seen the cat all week...

dougchips

Do you pay the cash before the event starts? If so I will rent you some else's land.

Peladu

To answer your question, we pay before ... but also keep in mind, sneaky people can be shot in the foot.

dougchips

I am ok with that, so long as you do not take the money back, I will send someone else to get the money, get shot and send the money to me. I think I can arrange this entire deal from my home in MA.

If I find someone without legs, like a disabled vet-does this mean that you will not shot him at all--if so I will let the vet keep all of the money.

You can't be mean enough to shot a vet?

Peladu

I'm a Cubs fan and I would shoot Ron Santo, if he was sneaky.
Read up on Ron Santo, and you will see the humor in that.

dayexco

peladu, i own 320 acres of FLAT farm ground in south dakota, no water, no trees, a cat? drop him off, dudes out here will "help" you.

__________________
someday, i'll be as patient as Nick.

Peladu

If that's the case, I may just drop them off from the helicopter, and not have to stop, this may work ... let me get back to you.

RobertCDF

You do know that nail guns can be a lot of fun around unwanted "pests".... if you want the story... PM me.

__________________
Robert Shaw
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Tscarborough

****, a gunny sack and a river is all you need.

dougchips

I'll get some grief for this one, our farm cat in VA hooked up with a feral cat and made babies. These babies grew up mean, they would attack you if you were on their couch or for any reason. All attempts of finding them a home failed. I got tired of 7 lions attacking me day and night for no reason....I love animals but I also love my 16 gauge.

Peladu

Here kitty, kitty, kitty ....... boom!, ok... here other kitty, other kitty, caboom....

Doug, not gonna catch flack from me.

But who knows, the puppet may get you.

dougchips

Shot one, next one came over to sniff or eat the dead one 2nd shot, continued until all 6 were in the same pile

copusbuilder

You guys are a disgrace to our proud prefession

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dougchips

Which prefession is that?

copusbuilder

The spehlin prefesion!!
I just hate this lap top...the damn thing is too small..not to mention the prescription for my glasses

__________________
www.copusconstruction.com
www.etexasrentals.com
www.thelakevoice.com
AkA Richard Cranium