Long island traffic rules update - Contractor Talk - Professional Construction and Remodeling Forum

nywoodwizard · 11-27-2007, 05:59 PM

For those of you on the rough roads of Long Island everyday and a reminder for those of you who no longer live there (or never did) but want to visit.....know the rules before getting behind the wheel:

Long Island Driving Rules

1. A right-lane construction closure is just a game to see how many people can cut in line by passing you on the right as you sit in the left lane waiting for the same drivers to squeeze their way back in before hitting the orange construction barrels.

2. Turn signals will give away your next move. A real Long Island driver never uses them. Use of them may be illegal.

3. Under no circumstances should you leave a safe distance between you and the car in front of you, or the space will be filled in by somebody else putting you in an even more dangerous situation.

4. Crossing two or more lanes in a single lane-change is considered "going with the flow."

5. The faster you drive through a red light, the smaller the chance you have of getting hit.

6. Never get in the way of an older car that needs extensive bodywork.

7. Braking is to be done as hard and late as possible to ensure that your ABS kicks in, giving a nice, relaxing foot massage as the brake pedal pulsates. For those of you without ABS, it's a chance to stretch your legs.

8. Construction signs warn you about road closures immediately after you pass the last exit before the backup.

9. Electronic traffic warning signs are not there to provide useful information. They are only there to make Long Island look high-tech, and to distract you from seeing the state police radar car parked on the median.

10. Never pass on the left when you can pass on the right.

11. Speed limits are arbitrary figures, given only as suggestions, and are apparently not enforceable during rush hour.

12. Just because you're in the left lane and have no room to speed up or move over doesn't mean that a Long Island driver flashing his high beams behind you doesn't think he can go faster in your spot.

13. Always slow down and rubberneck when you see an accident, or even if someone is just changing a tire.

14. Throwing litter on the roads adds color to the landscape and gives Adopt-a-Highway crews something to clean up.

15. It is assumed that state police cars passing at high speed may be followed in the event you need to make up a few minutes on your way to work, or the beach.

16. Learn to swerve abruptly. Long Island is the home of high-speed slalom driving thanks to potholes.

17. It is traditional in Long Island to honk your horn at cars that don't move the instant the light changes.

18. Seeking eye contact with another driver revokes your right of way, except in Garden City where it acts as an invitation to duel or play chicken.

19. Never take a green light at face value. Always look right and left before proceeding. In Long Island it is common to stop and then decide which direction to turn.

20. Remember that the goal of every Long Island driver is to get there first, by whatever means necessary.

21. Real Long Island female drivers can put on pantyhose, apply eye makeup and balance the checkbook at seventy-five miles per hour, during a snowstorm in bumper-to-bumper traffic.

22. Real Long Island male drivers can take off pantyhose, unsnap a bra with one flick of their wrist at seventy-five miles per hour during a snowstorm in bumper-to-bumper traffic.

23. Heavy snow, ice, fog, and rain are no reasons to change any of the previously listed rules. These weather conditions are God's way of insuring a natural selection process for body shops, junkyards, and new vehicle sales.

Susan Betz · 11-27-2007, 10:06 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by nywoodwizard

3. Under no circumstances should you leave a safe distance between you and the car in front of you, or the space will be filled in by somebody else putting you in an even more dangerous situation.

omg, this is one of my pet peeves. The next roadster that zips in front of me as I'm slowing for a light in an F-350 with four barrels of fence paint in my bed is going to get flattened. Do people seriously not understand inertia?

nywoodwizard · 11-27-2007, 10:14 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Susan Betz

omg, this is one of my pet peeves. The next roadster that zips in front of me as I'm slowing for a light in an F-350 with four barrels of fence paint in my bed is going to get flattened. Do people seriously not understand inertia?

No such word as inertia exist in long island ,only point A to point B

concretemasonry · 11-27-2007, 10:46 PM

That is just the tip of the iceberg for Long Island. At one time, we had to put 2 - $50.00 bills (cash only) in an envelope for the driver to deliver to someone for the load to be "cleared". - NYC was just one bill.

daArch · 11-27-2007, 10:48 PM

These are the rules of Long Island ??

I thought they were the rules of illegal aliens driving a NJ plated car in NY, or CT, or PA, or DE, or RI, or VA, or MD, or ........

Floordude · 11-28-2007, 08:17 AM

Those rules were adopted to any major metro city there is here in the good `ol USA!!!

Those are the same rules, Austin has adopted. This needs to be added to the Texas Law.

22. Real Long Island male drivers can take off pantyhose, unsnap a bra with one flick of their wrist while holding a beer t ninety-five miles per hour during a toad choaker, in bumper-to-bumper traffic.

concretemasonry · 11-28-2007, 08:38 AM

In my case, the rules were from CT people and dictated by some people that are involved in trucking. - To an outsider, it seemed like a "turf toll" that is not enforced by the state police.

nywoodwizard · 11-28-2007, 07:06 PM

I have actually seen one applying make up,visor was flipped down with light on,talking on cell phone,it was raining out,doing around 70, riding someones bumper,two small kids jumping around back seat with no seatbelts on and if all that wasn't enough, she runs a red light. I don't know weather she deserves a medal or beat down. Its scarry i'm thinking of buying a safer ride.

eagleandbaby · 01-15-2008, 08:19 PM

Southern California might be as bad as NY

**framerman** · 01-15-2008, 09:21 PM

I went to Long Island once on a week night. What a mistake. Cost me well over $100 just for parking. I had to pay a guy to take it into a warehouse, had to tip the driver, then I had to pay a different driver to go get it and this was on top of my actual parking "garage" expense.

A sandwich across the street was $20.

It took me 2 hours to drive 5 miles or so up the Henry Hudson Pkwy. and that was moving pretty good from what I was told.

And then I didn't get the job.

daArch · 01-15-2008, 10:48 PM

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