Kids And Fighting?

joasis

OK, we have all seen the news about the Lakeland, Fl., teens beating up another teen....6 girls beating another girl severely while 2 boys serve as lookouts. Shocking to say the least. While looking at news stories online, I saw comments about how this is commonplace now.....

My wife and I discussed this quite a bit...and I have decided to put my little girl in full contact Karate this fall, taught by a close friend....simply so she will have the skills to defend herself, should the need arise.

This morning, after reading all the comments, I went to youtube and with the keywords girl girl fight, and boy fight, saw some very graphic and disturbing videos of kids beating each other senseless.....these are not the schoolyard fights I grew up with....or the squaring off with another guy of my younger years...these are brutal fights, rarely "fair", and in many cases, they look like a feeding frenzy.....really kind of scares me...thinking about what kids are facing today.

So here is my point: Those of you with younger kids, what are your thoughts about this disturbing trend, and what, if anything, do you plan on doing about it?

I taught my older kids to not back down, and my son is pretty rough. But now, not backing down could have serious consequences....and trying to run could be worse....so what now? My son is 25....I enjoyed teaching him to box....and he spent a few years in Karate....but I still worry about him, and now I have a soon to be 10 year old girl and wonder what is the right thing to do now?

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SelfContract

Yes, sad but true... It's a NATIONAL trends for HS kids now now.. after the Mohawk heads of the 80s to the Nazi heavy black cloak w/semi-guns in the 90s to the school shootings in 2000s... now comes the Kungfu fighting skills??... Oh no wait... must be the gang beating enjoyments & PROUD to be on NATIONAL RECOGNIZATION LEVEL (as little YouTUBE HEROs championship) ???

mickeyco

I think it's the parents, as soon as I heard the name of one of the girls involved in the fight, Mercedes, I had an idea what the parents would be like. Then I heard from the parents, I wasn't surprised.

I suspect aside from preparing your children should they be involved in a fight you have taught them right from wrong, respect for others and responsibility for ones actions.

I suspect many of the kids involved in this crap come from trailers were there are no rules, no structure and no consequences.

I'm reminded of that recent incident where the school girl was on the bus screaming at the bus driver, might have pushed or hit her and then had the gall to go on TV with her parents and say she isn't sorry, she is now charged with battery. Had I done that as a kid, I would have been more afraid of what my father would do than the cops, today the parents are defending bad behavior and the only thing cops can do is arrest and charge them.

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6stringmason

I agree. Its %99 the parents fault. I think the world would be a lot better off if say %75 of the population were to be sterilized.

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send_it_all

Joasis. In my opinion, a regular karate class is not going to be SUPER effective in teaching your kid(s) how to defend themselves in that type of fight.

I would suggest Muay Thai kickboxing and/or Ju jItsu. (Ju Jitsu is mostly ground fighting that involves joint locks and choking. It is EXTREMELY effective in one-on-one fights. Not so much in mele situations where the Muay Thai would work a little better). If you have places in your area that teach MMA (mixed martial arts), they can teach both of these styles in the same class. MMA is pretty much a combination of kick boxing, wrestling and Ju JItsu

Susan Betz

Spot on.

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Heritage

I'm a Muay-thai and BJJ instructor...although Karate is better than nothing, it's application in a real fight situation is very questionable.

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joasis

It isn't about which discipline I get my little girl in, it is about preparing her for bullies. The larger issue is where we are going as parents and how society is going to be affected by all of this.

To be specific, GoJuRu is the form my friend teaches, and since he was nationally ranked in PKA full contact, plus he is trusted, that is where my little girl will go.

This thread isn't really about fighting and which method may prove to be better or worse, this is more about protecting your own kids from bullies and getting them out of bad situations.

As another point, how many of us, had it been our own daughter, would have acted in haste. I like to think I wouldn't, but I have in the past with my older daughter and POS boyfriend.....

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Teetorbilt

Teach them how and when to shoot.

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eagleandbaby

I just wanted to make a comment about my area. The home prices are on average 1 million dollars, (CA prices are outrageous). Many highly educated people with good jobs and no trailer parks.

My son is 16 years old and was involved in two incidences this year with Korean “gang members.”

Early this year he was coming out of Barnes and Noble and two kids, one with a screwdriver, assaulted him in an upscale retail area.

Last month 7 Koreans surrounded him and a girl in a park surrounded by million dollar homes at dusk and asked him for his wallet and stole 3 dollars while pushing him around.

All the police said was they will patrol more and they were very uncooperative.

One more thing: He was also assaulted at school and fought back defending himself too. He was suspended for 5 days. No matter what I said about the level of blame the school said it did not matter. They will always suspend both persons no matter if the other is using self defense.

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homemasters

joasis

Like I said when we talked on the phone, find a safer community.....IMHO. I live in a "safe" place, so to speak, and would never try to raise a child in a metro area.

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Geoff MRT

This is a very good topic.

I think. as a whole, we are much more gentle than we were 100 years ago but even minor incidents are covered now by a media that hypes the minutia.

That being said, there is a growing element of children and young adults that feel their actions are justified because they are somehow more important than their victim and don't seem to understand that what they've done is wrong. Sometimes someone is assaulted over a "look" or over a disagreement that, for most of us, would leave our minds before dinner time.

I think this type of thing crosses the socio-economic boundaries as it seems that many of these kids are from the suburbs or nicer areas. At times it seems we're raising a generation of sociopaths. I believe much of it comes from families where there is far less parental influence or attention. Kids are almost raising themselves in many cases. Either it's the single parent on the welfare rolls, high or drunk and too lazy to care, or it's the working couple who, in order to keep the lifestyle they set up for themselves, need that double income just to keep it all going. Either way, the kids are figuring it out for themselves.

I became a parent later in life. My oldest was born when I was in my mid-30's. Two years later we had another son and as they grow, (now 4 and 2 years) I noticed that, without some sort of parental intervention, the stronger one would kill the other then go watch TV like nothing happened. It's an animal-like behavior that I believe is innate and kindness is learned. Empathy doesn't come naturally. So getting together with friends and beating the snot out of someone, and feeling annoyed that you got in trouble for it, is the end result of a piss-poor environment and a lack of any sort of moral or ethical base. As for my own children, the most I can do is teach them right from wrong.

I think this sort of story brings out the psycho in all of us. As a parent, I want to hunt these girls down. If it was my kid, they'd be lucky to be in police custody. The problem with many of these situations is, the court system fails the public and the punishment is minimal. All the more reason for them to do it again.

BuiltByMAC

You do your best to teach your kids to be aware of their surroundings, to not let themselves get in a compromising position, to back away from a confrontation with an idiot(s) and if forced to, fight fast, fight dirty and put the bully(s) down hard so they can't get back up and come after him. Then get ahold of Dad so he can deal with the aftermath...

Regarding Teetor's comment on shooting - I wouldn't put a gun in my son's hand until he's mentally ready to deal with killing someone. Hell, I don't even know that I'm mentally ready to kill someone. That shouldn't be a spur of the moment decision.

Mac

Floordude

My 10 year old daughter, can twist you up like a pretzel!!! And then kick you in the nads after she breaks your arm. Serious.

Only thing is, she got burnt out on it as the disciplines increased. It was breeding aggressiveness, in her, also. They tried to teach respect, in the big after school classes, but without Master there, someone was getting popped around.

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eagleandbaby

I would love to move outside of the city but in Southern California I would have to move a long way to get out of the "city." There are nice places North of LA but then working would be too hard. At this point I cannot move away and start from scratch.

When your work is there it is too hard.

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Cdat

I have taught my kids never to fight but if push comes to shove and your arse is about to be royally kicked, to go for the biggest in the fastest way to remove him from the fight as quickly as possible. Then to go for the loudest. The rest will usually rethink the fight at that point. This approach has led me and my son to a confrontation with the school authorities and Johnny Law.

Threats of legal action were verbally given but guest what? My son still goes to the same school and no law suit was ever filed. Can't say the same for the bully and his parents. My son has had no trouble since.

easy sider

Martial Arts taught when young and full contact sparring in teen years makes it hard for that trained person to want to get in a fight. At this level of achievement one can usually see the trouble coming and stay out of the way. At this level a teen can take out a full grown man in less than 30 seconds and run away. To get a child to this level the parents should be involved even if its nothing more than encouragement.
Cage fight mentality is making kids with little or no skill into want to be fighters and bully's who may end up hurt or hurting some one because of their lack of skill.

easy sider

My kids lost interest at about the time they were able to get their drivers license and then regained interest with their own children growing up. My 9 year old grand daughter can break boards with her hands and feet and spars with the teens. She will probably lose interest but will remember what she was taught. You do need a good teacher to keep kids interested.

WilsonRMDL

I'm only 21 and I know of some fights in my old neighborhood with kids my brothers age (he's 15), theres been kids hit with 2x4's, fights where its 5 on 1. Its out of hand.

I'm not much older but at least in my high school days there was mutual respect enough that when the other guy is down you dont hit him, and vice versa. And if you do, expect to get it from someone else. Like has been mentioned already, its just a lack of respect btwn those involved.

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Cdat

I have taught my son that if you're outnumbered, then there are no rules but to survive. Using whatever is at hand to win. Dirty? You betcha. Not fair? Hell, when there is more then one, then everything is fair play. But my son knows that if he ever starts a fight, he'll be fighting again when he gets home.