An Interesting Reunion

Glasshousebltr

My firstborn boy was adopted after his mothers and my separation by his grandmother, her mother, my mother in law, 900 miles away. She hated me, but then again that's a common effect I have on mother in laws His mother got herself in some deep doo doo.

The Mommy in law prevented any communication between him and myself until he reached his teens. Then she allowed minor contact in times of trouble. So I spoke to him 5 times on the phone some years ago.

In the last 3 years he's joined the Air Force and contacts me a couple times a month. In Aug he got himself married, our conversations must have had no effect. His wife's family lives about 50 miles from me, so on the way to visit this holiday he's stopping in to meet dear old dad.

Gotta tell ya fellas, this is one of the few times I'm scared crap less. I haven't had a face to face with Shane in.... well he was still in diapers.

Just had to spill.

Bob

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Bob

DecksEtc

Bob, all you can do is apologize for the things in the past, tell him the honest truth about what "really" happened and move on. Be there for him as much as you can/he wants from here on in. Time heals all wounds.

PipeGuy

I wouldn't even go there unless it becomes absolutely appropriate.

He's obviously a "man" now (he joined the service) so treat him like one. At this point in your lives I think good ol' fashion hospitality will show more respect for him and his wife than a bunch of blabbering about what would'a-could'a-should'a been in the past.

Relax and enjoy the moment he's making possible by his making contact with you.

Glasshousebltr

Yea, I haven't even gotten into the whole what if or she did discussion with him. I'll just leave that out unless he asks, then I'll try not to create a wedge between anyone.

From what I can tell, he seems to be aware of his mothers shortcomings already and holds no grudge to me. 20 some odd years later and from what I hear from him, she's in deep doo doo again.

Man I can pick em.

Bob

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Bob

kenvest

judging by most of your post, he'll be to busy laughing his ass off to be concerned with the past.

hopefully the force will be good for him and who knows, maybe in time you can do what alot of fathers don't.......help your son be a man.

good luck!

Mike Finley

That's awesome Bob, you'll have something extra to be thankful for around the Thanksgiving table this year!

6stringmason

WOW! Im really happy for ya Bob. I think not talking about the past unless otherwise brought up is a great idea. Being a man alraady, he has probably got his own feelings about good ole pops and wouldnt be stopping by if he didnt love ya. I sort of had the same situation growin up but with different parental units. The old man got me thank God. He's a little greyer because of it but happy nonetheless.
Well I hope it all goes well for you and you have a good time with your son!
Troy

metalroofer

At least he called you first! I knocked on my dads door one day some 17 years later. Almost exact scenario, me then in the military, he pretty much had written me off. Your son knows that there are two sides to a story. I don't think you'll have much explaining to do, the regular doses of poison about you are now seen as what it was.
Have fun, relax, try to keep him at ease.
Remember he's pretty nervous about this too, I was.
Happy Thanksgiving. Met

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Tom R

Hey, good luck Bob, - - sounds like it's already off to a good start.

The way to earn the most respect is don't 'put down' the ex no matter what, - - he already knows 'enough' anyway.

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George Z

Congratulations Bob,
Just enjoy the moments, ask a lot about him now,
tell him abut yourself and again ..enjoy!

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