Home Schooling - Contractor Talk - Professional Construction and Remodeling Forum

MALCO.New.York · 03-15-2008, 03:46 PM

1. My mother taught me TO APPRECIATE A JOB WELL DONE.
"If you're going to kill each other, do it outside.
I just finished cleaning."

2. My mother taught me RELIGION.
"You better pray that will come out of the carpet."

3. My mother taught me about TIME TRAVEL.
"If you don't straighten up, I'm going to knock you
into the middle of next week!"

4. My mother taught me LOGIC.
" Because I said so, that's why."

5. My mother taught me MORE LOGIC.
"If you fall out of that swing and break your neck,
you're not going to the store with me."

6. My mother taught me FORESIGHT.
"Make sure you wear clean underwear,
in case you're in an accident."

7. My mother taught me IRONY.
"Keep crying, and I'll give you something to cry about."

8. My mother taught me about the science of OSMOSIS.
"Shut your mouth and eat your supper."

9. My mother taught me about CONTORTIONISM.
"Will you look at that dirt on the back of your neck!"

10. My mother taught me ab out STAMINA.
"You'll sit there until all that spinach is gone."

11. My mother taught me about WEATHER.
"This room of yours looks as if a tornado went through it."

12. My mother taught me about HYPOCRISY.
"If I told you once, I've told you a million times.
Don't exaggerate!"

13. My mother taught me the CIRCLE OF LIFE.
"I brought you into this world, and I can take you out."

14. My mother taught me about BEHAVIOR MODIFICATION.
"Stop acting like your father!"

15. My mother taught me about ENVY.
"There are millions of less fortunate children in this world
who don't have wonderful parents like you do."

16. My mother taugh t me about ANTICIPATION.
"Just wait until we get home."

17. My mother taught me about RECEIVING.
"You are going to get it when you get home!"

18. My mother taught me MEDICAL SCIENCE.
"If you don't stop crossing your eyes, they are going
to get stuck that way."

19. My mother taught me ESP.
"Put your sweater on; don't you think
I know when you are cold?"

20. My mother taught me HUMOR.
"When that lawn mower cuts off your toes,
don't come running to me."

21. My mother taught me HOW TO BECOME AN ADULT.
"If you don't eat your vegetables,
you'll never grow up."

22. My mother taught me GENETICS.
"Y ou're just like your father."

23. My mother taught me about my ROOTS.
"Shut that door behind you. Do you think
you were born in a barn?"

24. My mother taught me WISDOM.
"When you get to be my age, you'll understand."

25. And my favorite: My mother taught me about JUSTICE.
"One day you'll have kids, and I hope
they turn out just like you

**framerman** · 03-15-2008, 05:02 PM

Ahhh education. You can never learn enough!

Susan Betz · 03-15-2008, 06:14 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by MALCO.New.York

"One day you'll have kids, and I hope
they turn out just like you

I tell my kids this a LOT. Whether they're being angels or devils, I mean what I say. I love my kids, I hope they get children like themselves.

MALCO.New.York · 03-15-2008, 07:02 PM

I LITERALLY heard just about every one of those "instructions" while growing up. Sometimes still!!!!!

A W Smith · 03-15-2008, 10:26 PM

around 1970. When my father and us were lost around Wheeling WV on our way to Athens Ohio to my older siisters College. Us kids were teasing him about getting lost. . My dad threatened to teach us Magic

"if you kids dont shut up im gonna turn this car into a TREE!"

MALCO.New.York · 03-15-2008, 10:40 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by A W Smith

around 1970. When my father and us were lost around Wheeling WV on our way to Athens Ohio to my older siisters College. Us kids were teasing him about getting lost. . My dad threatened to teach us Magic

"if you kids dont shut up im gonna turn this car into a TREE!"

That is a good one!!!

JBBS · 03-16-2008, 07:25 AM

Dad usually taught us physics. It was more of a hands on demonstration involving various pieces of furniture or anything else capable of being thrown lol.

JohnJ0906 · 03-16-2008, 09:37 AM

http://www.funnieststuff.net/viewmovie.php?id=690

All this sounds soooo familiar

I just know I've heard it before... ...

MALCO.New.York · 03-24-2008, 01:45 AM

Yes it is all too familiar......