Hell Explained!

Hammatime · 10-10-2006, 04:50 PM

HELL EXPLAINED BY CHEMISTRY STUDENT

The following is an actual question given on a University of
Washington chemistry class mid-term exam. The answer by one student
was so "profound" that the professor shared it with colleagues, via the Internet, which is, of course, why we now have the pleasure of enjoying it as well:

Bonus Question:
Is Hell exothermic (gives off heat) or endothermic (absorbs heat)?

Most of the students wrote proofs of their beliefs using Boyle's
Law (gas cools when it expands and heats when it is compressed) or
some variant.

One student, however, wrote the following:

First, we need to know how the mass of Hell is changing in time. So we need to know the rate at which souls are moving into Hell and the rate at which they are leaving. I think that we can safely assume that once a soul gets to Hell, it will not leave. As for how many souls are entering Hell, let's look at the different religions that exist in the world today. Most of these religions state that if you are not a member of their religion, you will go to Hell. Since there is more than one of these religions and since people do not belong to more than one religion, we can project that all souls go to Hell. With birth and death rates as they are, we can expect the number of souls in Hell to increase exponentially.
Now, we look at the rate of change of the volume in Hell because Boyle's Law states that in order for the temperature and pressure in Hell to stay the same, the volume of Hell has to expand proportionately as souls are added.

This gives two possibilities:

1. If Hell is expanding at a slower rate than the rate at which souls enter Hell, then the temperature and pressure in Hell will increase until all Hell breaks loose.

2. If Hell is expanding at a rate faster than the increase of souls in Hell, then the temperature and pressure will drop until Hell freezes over.

So which is it?

If we accept the postulate given to me by Teresa during my Freshman year that, "It will be a cold day in Hell before I sleep with you," and take into account the fact that I slept with her last night, then number two must be true, and thus I am sure that Hell is exothermic and has already frozen over. The corollary of this theory is that since Hell has frozen over, it follows that it is not accepting any more souls and is therefore, extinct......leaving only Heaven, thereby proving the existence of a
divine being which explains why, last night, Teresa kept shouting "Oh
my God."

THIS STUDENT RECEIVED THE ONLY "A"!

dirt diggler · 10-10-2006, 06:23 PM

that was so um ... over my head

dirt diggler · 10-10-2006, 06:24 PM

oh --- there need sto be a smiley face with an airplane going over its head

Debookkeeper · 10-10-2006, 07:34 PM

If that is indeed a real paper, that is one cool kid!

**Teetorbilt** · 10-10-2006, 11:32 PM

Very old.

copusbuilder · 10-11-2006, 08:17 AM

Probably the most dangerous thing about the internet.
Anybody can put there thoughts on paper and create an identity to attach it to. I had seen this years ago as well and can't say if it is true or not.
Just view with scepticism and enjoy for what it is.

10-10-2006, 04:50 PM	#1
Hammatime View Profile Hammatime Pro Send Message Follow Blogs (0) Threads (108) Photos (0) Reviews (0) Projects (0) Toolbox (0) View All Activity Pro Trade: General Contractor Join Date: Sep 2006 Location: MA Posts: 108	Hell Explained! HELL EXPLAINED BY CHEMISTRY STUDENT The following is an actual question given on a University of Washington chemistry class mid-term exam. The answer by one student was so "profound" that the professor shared it with colleagues, via the Internet, which is, of course, why we now have the pleasure of enjoying it as well: Bonus Question: Is Hell exothermic (gives off heat) or endothermic (absorbs heat)? Most of the students wrote proofs of their beliefs using Boyle's Law (gas cools when it expands and heats when it is compressed) or some variant. One student, however, wrote the following: First, we need to know how the mass of Hell is changing in time. So we need to know the rate at which souls are moving into Hell and the rate at which they are leaving. I think that we can safely assume that once a soul gets to Hell, it will not leave. As for how many souls are entering Hell, let's look at the different religions that exist in the world today. Most of these religions state that if you are not a member of their religion, you will go to Hell. Since there is more than one of these religions and since people do not belong to more than one religion, we can project that all souls go to Hell. With birth and death rates as they are, we can expect the number of souls in Hell to increase exponentially. Now, we look at the rate of change of the volume in Hell because Boyle's Law states that in order for the temperature and pressure in Hell to stay the same, the volume of Hell has to expand proportionately as souls are added. This gives two possibilities: 1. If Hell is expanding at a slower rate than the rate at which souls enter Hell, then the temperature and pressure in Hell will increase until all Hell breaks loose. 2. If Hell is expanding at a rate faster than the increase of souls in Hell, then the temperature and pressure will drop until Hell freezes over. So which is it? If we accept the postulate given to me by Teresa during my Freshman year that, "It will be a cold day in Hell before I sleep with you," and take into account the fact that I slept with her last night, then number two must be true, and thus I am sure that Hell is exothermic and has already frozen over. The corollary of this theory is that since Hell has frozen over, it follows that it is not accepting any more souls and is therefore, extinct......leaving only Heaven, thereby proving the existence of a divine being which explains why, last night, Teresa kept shouting "Oh my God." THIS STUDENT RECEIVED THE ONLY "A"! __________________ Peladu's responses are refreshing after a long day at work. If votes count, I vote to give him a little space to practice his art. This space can be in a dark basement so long as he has access to the internet. - Dougchips

10-10-2006, 06:23 PM	#2
dirt diggler View Profile dirt diggler Pro Send Message Follow Blogs (0) Threads (3,309) Photos (0) Reviews (0) Projects (0) Toolbox (0) View All Activity Pro Trade: contractor Join Date: May 2006 Location: east Posts: 3,309	Re: Hell Explained! that was so um ... over my head

10-10-2006, 06:24 PM	#3
dirt diggler View Profile dirt diggler Pro Send Message Follow Blogs (0) Threads (3,309) Photos (0) Reviews (0) Projects (0) Toolbox (0) View All Activity Pro Trade: contractor Join Date: May 2006 Location: east Posts: 3,309	Re: Hell Explained! oh --- there need sto be a smiley face with an airplane going over its head

10-10-2006, 07:34 PM	#4
Debookkeeper View Profile Debookkeeper Plays Well With Numbers Send Message Follow Blogs (0) Threads (629) Photos (0) Reviews (0) Projects (0) Toolbox (0) View All Activity Plays Well With Numbers Trade: Bookkeeper for GC, Residential Const, HVAC & Plumber Join Date: Jul 2006 Location: CT Posts: 629	Re: Hell Explained! If that is indeed a real paper, that is one cool kid!

10-10-2006, 11:32 PM	#5
Teetorbilt View Profile Teetorbilt Pro Send Message Follow Blogs (0) Threads (10,475) Photos (0) Reviews (0) Projects (0) Toolbox (0) View All Activity Pro Trade: Residential Contractor Join Date: Feb 2004 Location: Jensen Beach, FL Posts: 10,475	Re: Hell Explained! Very old. __________________ You can't solve you're problems with the same level of thinking that created the problems. Albert Einstein

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10-11-2006, 08:17 AM	#6
copusbuilder View Profile copusbuilder Pro Send Message Follow Blogs (0) Threads (1,358) Photos (0) Reviews (0) Projects (0) Toolbox (0) View All Activity Pro Trade: Builder/Remodeler- Master Electrician Join Date: Nov 2005 Location: Crockett Texas Posts: 1,358	Re: Hell Explained! Probably the most dangerous thing about the internet. Anybody can put there thoughts on paper and create an identity to attach it to. I had seen this years ago as well and can't say if it is true or not. Just view with scepticism and enjoy for what it is. __________________ www.copusconstruction.com www.etexasrentals.com www.thelakevoice.com AkA Richard Cranium

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