The Difference Between Men And Women

Robie

FEMALE POEM

I want a man who's handsome, smart and strong
One who loves to listen long.
One who thinks before he speaks
One who'll call, not wait for weeks.
I want him to be gainfully employed,
When I spend his cash, be not annoyed.
Pulls out my chair and opens my door,
massages my back and begs to do more.
Oh! For a man who makes love to my mind
And knows what to answer to "how big is my behind?"
I want this man to love me to no end,
And always be my very best friend.

MALE POEM

I want a deaf-mute nymphomaniac
with huge boobs who owns a liquor store and a bass boat.
I know this doesn't rhyme and I don't give a s#&t.

Ladies, simmer down. I just read this on another forum and had to pass it along.

__________________

If you have integrity, nothing else matters. If you don't have integrity, nothing else matters. ~Alan Simpson

theworx

Good one. Here's one a buddy sent me.

Women's English:
1. Yes = No.
2. No = Yes.
3. Maybe = No.
4. We need = I want.
5. I'm sorry = You'll be sorry.
6. We need to talk = You're in big trouble.
7. Sure dear, go ahead = You better not or you're in big trouble.
8. Do what you want = You'll pay for this later.
9. I'm not upset = Of course I'm upset you Moron.
10. You're certainly attentive tonight = Is sex all you think about?

Men's English:
1. I am hungry = I am hungry.
2. I am sleepy = I am sleepy.
3. I am tired = I am tired.
4. Nice dress = Nice cleavage.
5. I love you = Let's have sex.
6. I'm bored = Do you want to have sex.
7. Let's have this dance = I want to have sex with you.
8. Can I call you sometime = I want to have sex with you.
9. Could I take you to dinner and a movie = I want to have sex with you.
10. Don't think those shoes go with that outfit = You're gay.

realpurty2

*Snicker* Unless it was posted in more than one location recently, I know the "Forum" it came from.

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Woman in a Man's World.

PipeGuy

Can I have an amen brother

ProWallGuy

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dacusvillegirl

Ok Robie here ya go.....
I want a man who doesn't think Nascar is a church denomination.
I want a man that is comfortable with the fact that I make the same amount of money as him, or more.
I want a man that doesn't think helping with the house work is "lifting his feet" so I can vaccum under them.
I want a man, not a beer gut with legs.
I want a man who isn't afraid of "variety" in his sex life.
And Oh, yea I want a man with a Pontoon Boat and a 4 wheeler, make that 2, 4 wheelers so he has one too!

CE1

And I want to give you this:

Attachment 1479

ron schenker

Let's all go see "Brokeback Mountain", c'mon it'll be fun! lol

Teetorbilt

ron, it's just about a couple of guys ridin', ropin' and redecorating.

From Leno or Letterman, I just thought it funny.

__________________
You can't solve you're problems with the same level of thinking that created the problems.

Albert Einstein

go dart

i thought it was bareback mountain

Teetorbilt

Google 'Hairback Mountain' and see what shows up.

__________________
You can't solve you're problems with the same level of thinking that created the problems.

Albert Einstein

Leo G

A man knows what he likes and knows what he wants.

A woman thinks she knows what she wants, but she knows what she doesn't like -- as soon as she sees it.

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dacusvillegirl

oh, i am sorry did i hurt the male ego, I know all about the male ego.
I am the Service Manager for a HVAC company and men have to take orders from this woman all day long

Robie I was just jokin at you ok no hard feelings!

AAPaint

Yahoo, when can you start?

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-AAPaint

AA Quality Painting & Pressure Washing LLC
Jacksonville Painters
Jacksonville, FL.

Robie

No hard feelings here!
Have we given women the right to vote? Did that pass yet?

__________________

If you have integrity, nothing else matters. If you don't have integrity, nothing else matters. ~Alan Simpson

realpurty2

Ok guys, let's set this record straight once and for all. If you refer back to the oldest book in time, to the beginning of time itself. God created man.... realized he had a good thing started, borrowed a rib so it wasn't all scrap, and perfected the design, then named it woman. (Go a bit further and you'll also notice that man is just man, we earned two extra letters placed before 'man' in our title.)

If you are the evolution theory type... who created those first two monkeys to procreate? Also, it sure wasn't the male monkey giving birth.


Just my opinionated two cents....

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Woman in a Man's World.

Teetorbilt

realpurty, to follow up.

Ok guys, let's set this record straight once and for all. If you refer back to the oldest book in time, to the beginning of time itself.

The Bible is very far from being one of the oldest written works. There were many before with a written language.

It seems that you have forgotton this part.
18 The LORD God said, "It is not good for the man to be alone. I will make a helper suitable for him."

19 Now the LORD God had formed out of the ground all the beasts of the field and all the birds of the air. He brought them to the man to see what he would name them; and whatever the man called each living creature, that was its name. 20 So the man gave names to all the livestock, the birds of the air and all the beasts of the field.
But for Adam [h] no suitable helper was found. 21 So the LORD God caused the man to fall into a deep sleep; and while he was sleeping, he took one of the man's ribs [i] and closed up the place with flesh. 22 Then the LORD God made a woman from the rib [j] he had taken out of the man, and he brought her to the man.

23 The man said,
"This is now bone of my bones
and flesh of my flesh;
she shall be called 'woman, [k] '
for she was taken out of man."

Notice that God said "helper".

Also be aware that this is not how I personally view things. YOU directed me towards this.

__________________
You can't solve you're problems with the same level of thinking that created the problems.

Albert Einstein

IHI

Obviously evolution is not in our favor if time was "allowed" for posting from our female gender...aint there dishes to be washed or clothes to be folded, I can name a few other things to be done if the husband is not home yet??



Just mess'n with ya

I'll take my white tank top off now and hide in a corner

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Teetorbilt

IHI, my wife is my 'point man'. She is active in many places where I cannot be. She is also a 'type A' personality which I am not. I'm just a humble woodworker.

__________________
You can't solve you're problems with the same level of thinking that created the problems.

Albert Einstein

Patty

Now, there's a happily-married man!

Nicely and respectfully stated!