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12-05-2007, 06:08 PM
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#1
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Bunny by Malco - NY
Trade:
ICF Construction
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: North of 49
Posts: 2,221
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Canadian Foxworthy
[FONT='Verdana','sans-serif'] Subject: Canadian Humor - REDNECK style
A Little Canadian Humor
Forget Rednecks, here is what Jeff Foxworthy has to say about
Canucks
If your local Dairy Queen is closed from September through May,
you may live in Canada.
If someone in a Home Depot store offers you assistance and they
don't work there, you may live in Canada.
If you've worn shorts and a parka at the same time, you may live in
Canada
If you've had a lengthy telephone conversation with someone who
dialed a wrong number, you may live in Canada
If "Vacation" means going anywhere south of Muncie for the weekend,
you may live in Canada.
If you measure distance in hours, you may live in Canada
If you know several people who have hit a deer more than once, you
may live in Canada
If you have switched from "heat" to "A/C" in the same day and back
again, you may live in Canada
If you can drive 90 kms/hr through 2 feet of snow during a raging
blizzard without flinching, you may live in Canada
If you install security lights on your house and garage, but leave
both unlocked, you may live in Canada
If you carry jumpers in your car and your wife knows how to use
them, you may live in Canada
If you design your kid's Halloween costume to fit over a snowsuit,
you may live in Canada
If the speed limit on the highway is 80km -- you're going 90 and
everybody is passing you, you may live in Canada
If you know all 4 seasons: almost winter, winter, still winter and
road construction, you may live in Canada
If you have more miles on your snow blower than your car, you may
live in Canada.
If you find 2 degrees "a little chilly", you may live in Canada
If you actually understand these jokes, and forward them to all
your Canadian friends & others, you definitely live in Canada[/font]
__________________
Chris
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12-05-2007, 10:28 PM
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#2
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It's all about the Avatar
Trade:
I have no face!
Join Date: Feb 2007
Posts: 1,789
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One of my guys is cutting tile for a bathroom and wearing ear protection all day. Mid afternoon his phone starts to vibrate in his pocket, it is the city police. They tell him his car has been in an accident. There is no way, it is parked in front of the house he is working on and it should be there. He goes out to investigate and can not see it. He rushes to the curb and sees it 7 feet back from were it was park. It was being block from view by one of our trailers. Sure enough the rear of the car is totalled. The back bumper looks like Twelve Foot Davies hockey stick, ready to make a slap shot. On the window is a note with the drivers name, number and an apology, stating that he had called the police and would file a report.
ONLY IN CANADA
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12-06-2007, 12:44 AM
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#3
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Pro
Trade:
Renovations
Join Date: May 2005
Location: West Coast Canada
Posts: 1,704
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I got 10 out of 16, maybe I'm Canadian? 
__________________
"Too much is always better than not enough"--J.R. "Bob" Dobbs
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12-07-2007, 11:04 PM
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#4
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tile contractor
Trade:
Ceramic and stone tile contractor
Join Date: Apr 2005
Location: Bridgton, Maine
Posts: 762
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Chris Johnson
[FONT='Verdana','sans-serif']
If you actually understand these jokes, and forward them to all
your Canadian friends & others, you definitely live in Canada[/font]
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Or MAINE!! I can identify with just about every one of them!!
Well, except for the "lengthy conversation". As for the 4 seasons, What you all call road construction season, we call MUD season!! That's when you need 36x15 mudlug tires just to get to the job site!! A skidder is your friend!! 
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03-01-2009, 11:09 PM
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#5
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Member
Trade:
homebuilder/framer
Join Date: Sep 2007
Location: west Wa
Posts: 33
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yer makin me miss home eh
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03-01-2009, 11:37 PM
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#6
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Pro
Trade:
DRYWALL PROFESSIONAL
Join Date: Jan 2008
Location: BLAKESLEE P.A
Posts: 661
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Quote:
Originally Posted by reveivl
I got 10 out of 16, maybe I'm Canadian? |
No, you might be a redneck.
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03-01-2009, 11:49 PM
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#7
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Pro
Trade:
Squirrel Handler
Join Date: May 2006
Location: Chicago
Posts: 3,438
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If you're calling a piece of ham, bacon, you're definitely a Canadian, bacon my ass.
.
__________________
Some people climb mountains. I take out the trash. But we both do it for the same reason.
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03-02-2009, 10:55 AM
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#8
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listen twice talk once!
Trade:
electrician
Join Date: Oct 2005
Location: Orange county California
Posts: 591
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If you think Don Cherry is a snazzy dresser, your canadian.
Or
If your still upset about the Gretzky trade, your candadian
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03-02-2009, 10:57 AM
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#9
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Trailer park boy
Trade:
Remodeling
Join Date: Mar 2008
Location: Castlegar, BC, Canada
Posts: 1,773
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Gretzky's a crying baby.
__________________
"Industry without art is brutality"
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03-02-2009, 12:00 PM
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#10
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listen twice talk once!
Trade:
electrician
Join Date: Oct 2005
Location: Orange county California
Posts: 591
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Quote:
Originally Posted by shanekw1
Gretzky's a crying baby.
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You mean "the great one"! for shame, he cried to 212 points in a season. I think Lemiux is the one your thinking of.
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03-02-2009, 11:01 PM
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#11
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Trailer park boy
Trade:
Remodeling
Join Date: Mar 2008
Location: Castlegar, BC, Canada
Posts: 1,773
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I was thinking more of when Canada got silver in Nagano.
__________________
"Industry without art is brutality"
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03-02-2009, 11:23 PM
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#12
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Pro
Trade:
framer
Join Date: Dec 2007
Location: Calgary Ab Canada
Posts: 555
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Bacon again?
Personally I like pork and pork products in all their forms
That chubby guy looks scrumptious
Last edited by hughjazz; 03-02-2009 at 11:23 PM.
Reason: I'm hungry
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