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Here's the thing about HD, and all the other big boxes: My Time Has Value.
HD, Lowes, et al, take too long to deal with. The amount of product I have to return, the chance that they will mis-order products, not know enough about specialty products to even have a conversation with anyone about options if they don't happen to carry what I'm looking for, all of these things take time.
I might have to call 3 or 4 or 10 places to get everything I need to build a house- but I don't actually have to go in to their place of business 90% of the time. I don't have to worry that they won't understand, not have, or mis-order what I'm asking for. They will deliver to the site, and when it's drywall, roofing, etc., they stage it for me in the house or on the roof.
I have never saved a penny by using HD because the time penalty is always greater than the cost difference between them and my local yard. Especially when factoring in service and willingness to come to where I am to get the problem resolved. And I'm not a big builder, I'm a remodel contractor, a woodworker. My jobs are generally under $100k. The yards I go to all know my name, they know my business, and they know my preferences.
Anyone who doesn't have a good experience at their local yard hasn't spent the time to get service from that yard. If you're going in and complaining that HD has cheaper lumber, you're telling them that you don't care about service, just price.
If you're not getting the service you need to make up for the price difference, then you should go in and talk to the manager at the yard. Get to know the "yard monkeys"- when you treat them as valuable and make them advocates for you they help you more. They pick better lumber for you, they tell you about specials, they let you know if there's a good new product, or a recall on an old product. They become allies. If they aren't, and you make an effort (it's a two way street- you just showing up doesn't make you valuable to the employees, and only to the company in theory), then you talk to the management and make it known that you need some reason to continue to use them. But- you've got to earn their respect as much as they've got to earn yours.
Or you can be happy with HD & Lowe's & all the other non-service boxes in a race to the bottom. And remember, be happy that you'll be buying import crud at an ever diminishing level of quality.
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