People Who Work At Desks Should Stay There!

theworx

My cousin asked me over about a year ago to help him do a preliminary layout of his Rec room. I went over and his biggest concern at that time was where the drains were roughed in for his bathroom (totally a bad location). I told him I would come over with my jackhammer and break out the concrete, relocate the drains and repour the concrete (probably a days work). He thought that was huge and never phoned me to do it. 6 Months later he hired a plumbing company and it cost him $1200.00!!! I would have done it for $300.00 (he is my cousin).

Then he phoned me because it was time to start framing. I went to see him and told him I could have his Rec room framed in a day (partition walls using pressure treated bottom plates and steel studs). He declined worrying about cost and he and his dad took three months to frame (improperly).

Then he calls because it's time for drywall, I told him where he could get the best deal with delivery included but to give me a call when he's ready to board and I could have it done in a day. He and his dad took it upon themselves to board it (took a month). Because he didn't want to pay for me to do it.

Ok, so time for taping, he called me on Friday night to help him and showed up on Sat. morning and what a Fricken mess. Some boards are run horizontal, some vertical (with the bevel running full height and two butts of the horizontal sheets up against). Basically a really ugly 8' butt joint (with the corners of the sheets all broken). All the joints are in the wrong places (for sure will crack), and he bought one of those dimpler bits for his cordless drill and every screw in the place is set too deep (I have to rescrew the whole place).

So when he thought he was going to save money by doing it himself, and not hiring me (at the cousin rate) he's going to pay through the nose for me to fix it and spend the extra time to make it look right. Not to mention it could have been all done 11 months ago... I walked through the place with him and explained all the mistakes they had made and he couldn't believe all the details involved in such a project. I told him, you work behind a desk and computer and should stay there and even though his dad is handy, he doesn't have a clue how building like this should be done.

Anybody else tried to help a friend or family member with a project and they just wouldn't listen and screwed it all up because they were cheap???

mdshunk

I will help a relative. I will not frustrate myself for a relative. That's where I get off the bus.

Mike Finley

I'm firmly convince that there is no other outcome available. That's why they say you can choose your friends but you can't choose your family.

Why were you so keen to throw yourself into such a mess in the first place?

Big Dave

I feel your pain. I helped out my brother in law with his house, which is still not done. I helped him layout the floor plan and work out all of the kinks on the computer and printed it off for him. The plan we came up with that he liked had three bedrooms and only one bath, which I knew was a mistake.

Well he's ready to form up and pour concrete. I go up, approx. 150 miles one way, and help him with footings. This is a 30x50 house, very simple. Took us an hour to frame up the footings. I ran his a$$ off. Next he is ready to pour the short walls and wants to save money so he buys 3/4 plywood and I help him make his own forms. I tell him how to set them up and to brace with plenty of braces to hold in place. He calls me up and says he is having a little trouble so I go up and he has the outside done but only braced about every 10 feet. So I help him brace it off better and show him how to set the inside forms. He pours the concrete and it turns out ok for a diy.

Next comes framing. I tell him how to make and set the beams under the floor. He starts and I go up and see how he is coming along. I get there and not one joint is over a pier. I ask him about it and he's like, well I would have had to cut all of them to get them over the piers. I said yeah that is what you are supposed to do. I shrug my shoulders and say ok. What can I do.

Next comes framing the walls. I show up and finally convince him he needs the second bath and he goes for it. We frame all of the walls in 1 day without any problems.

I didn't have any more time to go help after that but after talking to him and he changed a few things I have decided not to help anymore.

Too many times he ask my advice and then he tells me, well a friend of mine says I should do it this way. I give up and will probably never help a relative again unless they just stay away.

This has been over a year and he still does not have his rough in done. But he has hung a little sheetrock in the closets. I'm like, what the heck.

Any time now that he ask questions I just avoid them.

By the way there are no inspections in the town he lives in.

Dave.

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PipeGuy

My observation is similar. 99% of DIY'ers have already made up their minds on how to do something by the time they ask for input from someone who is otherwise knowledgeable of the subject with which they need help. How many times have you heard from a DIY'er "OK, I understand what you're saying but can't I just ___________________?". Telling them "No. You need to ___________" simply causes them to 'consider' the advice a day or two longer before pushing ahead with their own plan.

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theworx

Why were you so keen to throw yourself into such a mess in the first place?[/QUOTE]

I wasn't keen, just trying to give some help to my cousin. I've tried to give him advice all through his project and told him I could do the work fast and proper for much less than hiring someone else. He decided that he'd do it on his own and has been crying about how long it's taking and trying to figure how to frame and board on his own. That's my point, why go through the aggrivation of trying to do it yourself if your cousin is offering a good deal to have everything done properly and fast..... It's only a few hundred bucks a day and he could be enjoying his nice new Rec room as I type this.

By trying to save a few dollars his Dad has spent $100.00 in gas driving across town (to help him do bad framing and boarding). I could have had the whole job done in two weekends. I just don't understand the way some people think. Maybe it's me, I'm not convincing enough. Everything I told my cousin seemed like a huge undertaking to him (even though I do this type of work everyday he didn't listen). All he had to do was phone me when each process was starting and at the very least I could have given him some guidence.

I'm just trying to be a good relative. I don't have many and don't want to burn any bridges.

copusbuilder

I have been through similiar things over and over!
I still cannot understand the thinking associated with their decision making??
I put word out if family or friends want me to do some work then get your bids and talk to me then

Look at the bright side....you don't have to do it and tell him next time to quit wasting your time

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RobertCDF

After he did not have you do the plumbing... and then the framing... There is no way I would waste my time coming back in to look at doing the rock or the taping. Blow me off 2 times and I know better than to go back

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Colorado Springs Custom Decks
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Mike Finley

I kind of knew the answer to my own question.

The why do they do that? I have given up trying to figure it out. The only way I can think to answer it is, You are you and they are them. You see similiar posts here about a relative who steals money, or a relative you hire and he turns into a nightmare, or you lend them money and then you are the a-hole when you get upset when they don't pay you back after they get a bonus and instead go out and buy a big screen tv... if anybody can figure out why relatives do those things they can give you your answer.

I wouldn't say it out loud, but I supect the true answer, at least in my cases when faced with one of these scenarios is that besides myself, everybody else on the planet is an idiot.

Double-A

• • Worx - So, you want me to come over this weekend to start the plumbing for your remodel?
  • Cousin - Naw, I'm gonna get a plumber to do it, I think I can pay more this way.
  • Worx - What about the framing, you want some help with that?
  • Cousin - Naw, I'll help Dad screw it up and then call you to help me finish it when its beyond hope.
  • Worx - You still havn't forgiven me for stealing that cute blond when we were 11, have you?
  • Cousin - Nope, and I'm gonna keep on not taking your advice until it kills me. I know you know what you're doing and all, but its more fun to just toss money down the basement stairs and call you when I feel you need to annoyed about it.

__________________
"My clients’ wishes are the center of my attention." -- David Guido, a contractor in Woodstock, N.Y.
New York Times, July 20, 2006

steve-in-kville

Ain't that the truth

I'll help my parents and brother with stuff. They all have a solid background as experienced DIY'ers or are proffessionals in a trade.

My wife's side is a nightmare. They are genuine know-it-alls and penny-pinchers at that. I stay out of it.

steve

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camaroman2125

Don't you know that since your a relative your supposed to do if for free?????

I've pretty much given up on my relatives. My dad's side is awesome, But mom's side belongs in straight jackets. If you even think about charging something your ripping them off.

The one that kills me is when I quoted a price to powerwash and seal my aunt & uncle's deck. They said it was to high and they didn't have the money, yet the next day they go out and buy a brand new car and pay cash for it.

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SOME PEOPLE ARE LIKE SLINKIES - NOT REALLY GOOD FOR ANYTHING BUT THEY BRING A SMILE TO YOUR FACE WHEN PUSHED DOWN THE STAIRS.

Tom R

Double-A, - - it's 'worx', not woz . . .

Stop sniffin that silicone!!


Worx, - - ya' better quit talkin' about my cousin like that!!

Are we related or somethin'??

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6stringmason

Jeez.. dont even get me started with that side....

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Double-A

Oops, did I get any on my noz?

BTW, I edited to protect the guilty. Now I have no idea what you're talking about.

__________________
"My clients’ wishes are the center of my attention." -- David Guido, a contractor in Woodstock, N.Y.
New York Times, July 20, 2006

wackman

I've decided that if a DIYer, with no construction background, is going to tackle a decent sized project (basically anything beyond simple paint and light trim) they have either the confidence or ignorance to think A. they can figure it out (confidence) or B. it's not that hard (ignorance).

Either way I feel when they ask me for advice that they've already decided what they're going to do, and only listen if I give the exact advice that goes along with what they had already decided they're going to do. Just to say "yeah that's what I planned on doing".

If I have any relatives or good friends who do any work for me, in their field (occasionally), I always pay them their going rate or really close, that way when they want my help (much more often) they understand when I charge my rate or close to it.

I also have decided whenever I move to hire moving companies and never ask friends or relatives for help because I'M tired of moving everyone else (I have all the trucks) and always end up doing the heavy lifting.

Wack

Peladu

Outside of immediate family, I will no longer work for family because of this reason.

Brickie

Same here. At family get togethers when they are crying about their "construction" problems, I laugh at them! I tell them that's just part of them deciding to pay the "stupid tax":jester:

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Double-A

Its funny, but only because its funny. Oh, and true. So it funny because its funny and true.

__________________
"My clients’ wishes are the center of my attention." -- David Guido, a contractor in Woodstock, N.Y.
New York Times, July 20, 2006

Brickie

Oh yeah, I have some relatives that are in the high end "Stupid Tax" bracket

__________________
“Ron Paul is one of the outstanding leaders fighting for a stronger national defense. As a former Air Force officer, he knows well the needs of our armed forces, and he always puts them first. We need to keep him fighting for our country.” – Ronald Reagan