How Many Of You Have...

LaurieC

how many of you have built for family? I'm in the middle of a total remodle for my mother in law. She's driving me CRAZY! I just keep telling myself it will be over soon. Any funny stories about building for family? Cheer me up, please.

deckman22

The golden rule of construction.

Never do work for family or friends.

Sorry to hear you broke the rule.

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Deckman
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SelfContract

Either she is crazy or you are... pick one.

CatAlii

You are a brave soul.

I think the golden rule - no work for friends or family - is a great one that could save a lot of pain. That being said, we have done work for family and it has gone extremely well. The family we chose to work for did not expect any favors or special treatment. They expected to be charged full rate for full service and that is exactly what happened. They were probably our best customers - they had each progress payment ready to hand to us before we had to ask for it, never griped about a single thing, etc. But this really had nothing to do with them being family - we've seen them hire other professionals for various work and they treat all their service providers with the same respect. Now....we do have other family members that we know would expect something for nothing and therefore we've said no right up front.

I don't have a funny story related to building for family but I do have a horror story. My sister in law is one of the ones that my husband decided he would not do work for - she expected favors, work for nothing, etc. Remember this is his sister we're talking about. At a Thanksgiving dinner she pulled me outside and proceeded to read me the riot act for "not allowing her brother to work on her house". She ranted and raved at me that I had no business doing that, who did I think I was, etc. I was mortified and furious at the same time because the reality was that I had actually been dumb enough to encourage him to call her (he was so adament about not doing work for her that he finally stopped calling her back). I was certainly not the one telling him not to! Well, needless to say, I now understand why he wanted to avoid her like the plague and will never question his reasons for not wanting to work for someone again.

I think if you know that your family treats service professionals well then working for family can work out - but if you know otherwise or if you know that they expect special favors be leary...

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Cathy

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dreamz

I did some cedar closets for my brother. Live and learn I guess.

Double-A

I've worked for family before. It didn't end well for eveyone involved.

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"My clients’ wishes are the center of my attention." -- David Guido, a contractor in Woodstock, N.Y.
New York Times, July 20, 2006

KB construction

So you guy's are telling me if say your cousin or your brother so on so forth. Want a new house and are willing to pay someone to do the work, you don't even want the job? You want a contractor less qualified than yourself to do a bad job so every time you go to visit you have to look at it and wish you had done. And how does that look in a smaller community where you have a very good reputation. And your relation lets the job out to someone else. I have done many jobs through the years for family and friends without a problem. They are going to pay someone to do it might just as well be me.

wireless

In theory...

LaurieC

Double A- LOL...we havn't started digging holes yet.

This was supposed to be a carpet and paint- spruce up the house job. So I agreed to do it in my spare time. We ended up gutting the whole house, replaced all the electric, plumbing, FAU and ducts (asbestos), and 3/4 of the lath and plaster walls. My problems with her...she wants to pay everyone right now. If someone asks for a check she just gives it to them, no questions asked. Now don't get me wrong, my subs love it...but the paperwork is a bitch. She also expects me to be there 7am- 5pm. Which would be ok, except I have a JOB you crazy lady!

Ok, thanks for letting me vent, and for teaching me the golden rule.

In the two yrs I've worked in the industry no one has told me the golden rule...shouldn't that be in the handbook?

threaderman

Family will screw you as fast as any Joe Blow on the street.If yours doesn't than you truly have a solid family.Most familys I know are not in-tact,they are run by a tyrant everyones supposed to bow down to.I don't walk that path,I don't need more headaches.My friends have bein better family than anything biological,and when I do work for them,it is usually a nominal charge if any.In

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deffed

worked for family and friends and everytime I say its going to be last

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Cdat

I was actually adding an addition onto MY house and offered the work to family who were in desperate need of work and this guy (brother-in-law) was so set in his ways of doing things, I finally just had him do the shell because I could not work with him. I would never tell someone else how to do their job but when they tell me that they won't install this or that because they only install stuff from one source and it wasn't a very good source, I had to say no thanks.

He has recently hung up his tool belt and gone into other work due to the fact he was too set in his own ways. 20 years of building houses and now he has had to change his profession.

airborneSGT

Thats a big ROGER on the family and friends rule. Never do work for family or friends! I will kindly refer them to my friends who are contractors and that is about it.

hillbilly9

I did work for the neighbor . She is crazy as a loon. I priced a8 x 14 deck and she said it was to small ..The husband comes home and has a fit. so I tell them to work it out. two boxes of wine and a case of beer later they work it out. Never again. I learned my lesson

joecot

I guess it depends on your family. I've worked for both my brother and my sister and they are great clients.

But what really puzzles me is people saying you shouldn't work for friends. What kind of friends do you have? Mine are friends because we get along well. Those are the kinds of people I want to work for. I've done 30 years of business this way. The important thing is to be professional and straight-forward in talking about money and standards of workmanship. If they aren't the kind of friends you can be straight with, don't work for them. But then, if you can't be straight with them, are they really friends?

Yes, there are minefields when working for friends or family, and sometimes you have to tiptoe through them. But I wouldn't dismiss the idea outright. That golden rule is bogus.

Double-A

I have worked for friends and family before and I will again, I'm sure.

The trick is to remind them that despite them having changed your diapers, or wiped your nose, or having held your hand (or head) through bad times, you still know more about the subject than they do and they need to keep that in mind when they come up with a brilliant time saving idea like, "I called a painter buddy and he said he can start in the morning. Its 4:30 now, are you guys gonna have that wall moved by then?"

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"My clients’ wishes are the center of my attention." -- David Guido, a contractor in Woodstock, N.Y.
New York Times, July 20, 2006

smellslike$tome

I don't guess this is exactly the same thing but over the years I have replaced 2 water heaters, 3 lavatory faucets, and 3 toilets for my in laws. I realize this is small potatoes compared to virtually any building project but all of it was done gratis and I'm actually looking forward to the next time I'm able to go to Charlotte so I can tackle a kitchen sink faucet or whatever they might need. It's not that I'm any sort of great guy it's just that I feel so indebted to these people that I jump at any chance to serve them with the knowledge and skills that I possess. Early on in my marraige times got very bad and I am convinced that the only reason I am still married to my wife is because of the influence of my father in law over me and my wife. Except for his wise intervention at that troubled time my children would never have been born. These people are certainly not perfect but they have always shown me kindness with strength, generosity, and proven to be a shining example of what family could be. They hold no record of any of these things against me but I know that I can never repay them for what they have done for my family. My mother in law comes to visit several times a year. This woman walks in the door and starts working and doesn't stop until she goes home. It's amazing. I don't ask her to do anything and really don't want her to but you can't stop her.

I know this isn't the same thing as what the op had in mind and forgive me for butting in but I had to take this opportunity to tell you about these people. I love them and would do anything for them.

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genecarp

nice tome

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deckman22

I have done work for family and friends before, but it never envolved getting paid, more of a favor sort of thing. Mother in law had fallen down her back steps cause they were too steep and slippery concrete. Built her a new stoop & extra wide stairs/grip rail. Helped my buddy build the deck on his house, his barn, his boat dock. All these were either free or in return for favors for me, never for money. BTW, the family & friends rule applies to loaning money too, incase you'll don't know.

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