Crazy, Funny Stories

 
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Old 10-24-2003, 03:49 PM   #1
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Crazy, Funny Stories


I love hearing from other people about crazy, funny stories that they have regarding customers.
whether it is wierd things you have encountered while going out to measure for an estimate, or wierd things people have asked for during an estimate, or just palin wierd customers!
Please change the names to protect the innocent or not so innocent.
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Old 10-24-2003, 04:20 PM   #2
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Re: Crazy, Funny Stories


LOL, Good Idea!

I’m not sure this one is funny or crazy but…

We were painting a big house in Downtown DC one summer and the old couple that lived there wouldn’t let us in their house to use the rest room. Finally after doing a little dance on their front porch they unlocked their basement and told us to go down there.
When we get down in the basement we discover a beautiful Mahogany paneled basement that was getting ruined because the windows were leaking badly.
One of the walls had 2 framed letters on it. One was a letter written by Lord Fairfax and the other was a 2 page letter by ABRAHAM LINCOLN!

The letters were getting ruined by the moisture.

Trying to be the helpful painters that we are we recommended they get the windows replace. They said “no your trying to take us!”.
Then we said we could paint the worst windows shut so it would stop the leak and they told us we were just trying to be lazy.

Oh well, one day soon those 2 are going to die and someone is going to find a letter from Abraham Lincoln destroyed by mildew.

-Nathan

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Old 10-24-2003, 04:44 PM   #3
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Re: Crazy, Funny Stories


Hi Nathan,

Seems to me that there was almost an American responsibility to contact the appropriate authorities regarding these historic items.

It doesn't make sense that someone would just let the matter drop considering the possible enormity of the situation.

Thanks,
Harry
 
   
 
Old 10-24-2003, 05:01 PM   #4
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Re: Crazy, Funny Stories


Next time I'll call the cops Harry... LOL

-Nathan
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Old 10-24-2003, 05:22 PM   #5
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Re: Crazy, Funny Stories


I will start this one off with a client I had recently.
A guy called me up to schedule a blind measure ( a measure for some material not picked out yet) , and I accepted. He was hard of hearing, so I had to yell in the phone, but after scheduling the measure, I went out and he greeted me at the door. He warned me that before entering the house, he keeps the windows open all summer and fall, so it might be a tad dirty. Well that was a major understatment. There were knick knacks everywhere, clutter filling every portion of the home except his fridge which was pristine and clean, not even 1 picture on a fridge magnet. I noticed a fern plant sitting on the long fireplace hearth in the living room. And if you know about fern plants, the tiny leaves turn brown and fall off often, and if someone doesnt primp them, it will be a lush brown and green mix. But what I saw was, tons of brown leaves covering the floor underneath the plant, but the fern was perfectly green and plush, as if he pick the brown ones and leaves them on the floor, and looking at the amount of brown leaves on the floor, he must have been doing this for quite awhile. The wierdest thing I saw, was when I entered the bathroom. While I was measuring the floor, I noticed in the corner a TON of light blue fuzz covering the corner of the floor right under the towel bar, and as I looked up, I noticed a light blue towel that was worn down to the nub of the towel. Basically, this guy has used the towel sooooo long without washing or sweeping, that the fibers after who knows how long, fell to the ground 1 by one. Now how long do you think that took to happen? Totally wierd.
In this guys defense though, I must say that he was very proffesional, and didnt ramble on about everything in the world, which is what I expected. He was a very nice guy who was easy to deal with. There were just a couple things that seemed awkward to me.
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Old 10-29-2003, 10:31 AM   #6
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Re: Crazy, Funny Stories


As some of you already know, my company installs, among other things, aluminum shingles. The other day, I went to see a client to follow up on an installation we did about a month ago, and, explore if they would be willing to give us letters of referral and permission to use photos of their house for our publicity. During my visit, the homeowner told me that his new roof almost killed his neighbour. Seeing the look on my face, he hurried on to say “Sorry, I meant to say that he almost died laughing!”. That didn’t sound very promising either, so he explained. Apparently, my client’s roof was part of the neighbourhood squirrels’ normal route, and after the roof was completed, they resumed their habits. My client’s neighbour observed them leaping from a tree branch onto the roof, starting to scamper across, and then as in a cartoon, start sliding down the slick surface. At first the squirrel would plant all four paws firmly onto the surface, but it would continue to slide downhill. Then all four legs would erupt in a frenzy of motion as it tried to gain traction and stop itself, but that motion just speeded up the slide. He watched the squirrel fall off the roof in frantic motion, and to the ground (it was only one story) then jump up and take off as if hell’s furies were after it. Meanwhile, the next squirrel in line did the same thing, with same results. And the next, and the next. By this time, the neighbour was laughing so hard he apparently couldn’t stand up.



My client tells me that there are no more squirrels on his roof and his relation with the neighbour has never been better. And I got my referral.
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Old 04-01-2007, 02:42 AM   #7
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Re: Crazy, Funny Stories


On a commercial building remodel, a big part of the job was 8k sq ft of hot mopped roof. The first layer was 30# felt. It was rolled out and nailed to the deck on Saturday afternoon. I went home and early Sunday morning I awoke to 35 mph winds. I hopped out of bed and went to job, expecting to find the paper tore up and a huge mess. When I got there I could not find a scrap of felt anywhere. 8,000 square feet of 30# felt, blew off and disappeared in the night. I can talk about it now because it's past the statute of limitations.

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Old 04-01-2007, 10:37 AM   #8
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Re: Crazy, Funny Stories


Quote:
Originally Posted by skyhook View Post
On a commercial building remodel, a big part of the job was 8k sq ft of hot mopped roof. The first layer was 30# felt. It was rolled out and nailed to the deck on Saturday afternoon. I went home and early Sunday morning I awoke to 35 mph winds. I hopped out of bed and went to job, expecting to find the paper tore up and a huge mess. When I got there I could not find a scrap of felt anywhere. 8,000 square feet of 30# felt, blew off and disappeared in the night. I can talk about it now because it's past the statute of limitations.

had something like that happen.4 rolls of .60mil were gone one morning.don't think it was the wind though.
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Old 04-01-2007, 12:06 PM   #9
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Re: Crazy, Funny Stories


A couple of years ago I did a Bathroom remodel for a gay couple. Great customers and paid on time.

After I completed the job I got a call from the more feminine of the two, he said he had a huge problem and need me to come over as soon as possible.

I thought it odd that he would not tell me the problem over the phone so I schedule to go see him the next day.

I arrived trying to anticipate all the things that could be wrong. I knocked on the door and the HO brought me up to the bathroom. He pointed at the toilet and said look, I did, I could see nothing wrong. Then he said the water in the bowl is to high.

Huh???

Well, when my husband sits down his penis touches the water.

I tried not to laugh but could not help it. In near hysterics I told him there was nothing that could be done outside of buying a specially designed tall bowl.

He said he would just have to live with it.

Indeed he would I thought.
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Old 04-01-2007, 12:34 PM   #10
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Re: Crazy, Funny Stories


I went on a bid, referal by an architect. A 3 story house overlooking the ocean on Shorecliff. 2 gay guys. Huge remodel. Probably a mil. I laughed it off and never got back to them. About a year later I went back to the neighborhood and the house was done.
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Old 04-01-2007, 04:00 PM   #11
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Re: Crazy, Funny Stories


a while back I had a new client meeting, I think it was a saturday morning, anyway the night before a buddy of mine sends an email with some **** attatchment, somehow I must have accidently and inadvertantly rightclicked and saved it as my desktop backround. Shut down and went to bed. next morning I grab my laptop and head out for the meeting, measure sit down at dining room table to start designing, (indian family with daughter and grandmother present) I turn on the computer and there right in front of this family is some chick getting pounded on my desktop, I composed myself, fixed it conducted the meeting as if nothing had happened, I couldn't wait to get the hell out of there
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Old 04-01-2007, 05:20 PM   #12
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Re: Crazy, Funny Stories


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Originally Posted by Bone Saw View Post
a while back I had a new client meeting, I think it was a saturday morning, anyway the night before a buddy of mine sends an email with some **** attatchment, somehow I must have accidently and inadvertantly rightclicked and saved it as my desktop backround. Shut down and went to bed. next morning I grab my laptop and head out for the meeting, measure sit down at dining room table to start designing, (indian family with daughter and grandmother present) I turn on the computer and there right in front of this family is some chick getting pounded on my desktop, I composed myself, fixed it conducted the meeting as if nothing had happened, I couldn't wait to get the hell out of there
Did you get the job? sorry, but I'm LMFAO!
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Old 04-01-2007, 05:30 PM   #13
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Re: Crazy, Funny Stories


holy old thread! its back from the archives!
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Old 01-14-2017, 09:21 AM   #14
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Re: Crazy, Funny Stories


This is just one funny story

http://onyxxteriorsproducts.blogspot...funnies-i.html
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Old 01-14-2017, 08:07 PM   #15
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You should totally paste it here for us to read so we dont have to go to your website!

Sent from my SM-T350 using Tapatalk
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Old 01-14-2017, 08:12 PM   #16
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Re: Crazy, Funny Stories


After many years of dealing with the public and other contractors, yes I have seen some stuff.

A repeat customer had another home for us to completely renovate. On day one, that fell on a Friday, we took out all the wall, ceiling and floor coverings. She wanted to try and save the cabinets, but they were pieced together and fell apart. The wiring, plumbing and insulation needed to be brought up to code. Well, the home needed insulation since there was none.

In one bathroom, the wall at the end of the tub had what looked like a shower head. I reached down to grip the old lead pipe and see if it would twist. Twist, it did and pulled right out. There was no hookup for the shower head and the head was fake. The guy who had been renting that half of the house had been doing his own repairs. But why put in a fake shower head?

When we moved the stove to remove the flooring, there was a huge hole going straight through the floor and wall. The stove did not even have a plugin. What was this guy trying to pull?

After everything was out, we took the weekend off. It is never a good idea to leave a job unattended when your customer is known to get into everything. While we were gone, she decided to have a look. Then she decided to help with clean up. We use brooms and shop vacs for a reason. She only had a leaf blower. She opened the windows and doors and scooted across the floor joists blowing some of the dust out. Later, she took her leaf blower into the attic. Oh, My! The guy she had helping her said she was nothing but a black soot rag doll when she came back down. She had to go to her stylist to get the soot out of her blond hair.

When we returned Monday, she was coughing and gagging with a sinus infection since she did not even wear a mask. We all bit our tongues and thanked her for trying to clean up, but it is our job to keep the site clean.

The electrician showed up to see that the entire home needed rewired. The other half of the home was rented by a college boy and he was complaining about his power bill being too high. It seemed to be enough to power the whole house. At first, we thought it might be how drafty the home was. Nope. The electrician found an illegal tap from his meter to the other half of the home. The guy doing his own repair did not even have a power bill because he was stealing his neighbor's power. The boy moved before we could tell him. He said he could no longer afford the power bill.

She opted to use her own plumber. She thought he was cheaper and he had a nice truck. Our plumber gave a flat price that covered the whole job. I watched her plumber use a level on every pipe and then take it back apart and trim a little and then try to level it (slightly off level) over and over. And we could not put any of the subfloor down until he had every pipe perfect. He refused to work under a house. When the rough in was finally done, she received the first part of the bill. He billed her sixty five an hour and took over a week. He worked four hours a day and charged eight. He used the old water heater and charged for a new one. Yep, she flipped out. He was four times what our plumber would have been and he had not even finished the job yet.

She also brought in her own tile guy. I usually do not like tile being cut inside the home, but no floor coverings or painting had been done as of yet. The tile guys took their tools and tile into the bathroom and I did not see them again until they were done. These guys were determined. I walked in and saw a pretty neat tile job and no trash left behind. I think I like these guys.

As you may have guessed, she decided to have our plumber finish the house out. He hooked up all the faucets and drains and everything was looking real good. The customer was very happy with the colors and fixtures she chose. The plumber came back the next day to turn the water on and test everything before his inspection. The tub was filled and tested to any leaks. The same with all the sinks. Everything held water well. Then he went back to the bathroom to let the water out. When he pressed the plug, the water only drained an inch and stopped. The sink was the same. He tried snaking the drains in case the other plumber lost a rag in a pipe. Whatever was clogging the drain would not move. OK. Take the drains back out. When he did this, he found grout packed into the pipes. The tile guys had dumped enough excess grout down the pipes, nothing could get through. Now, I hate her tile guys and so did she.

She bit the bullet on everything seemingly well and even though her budget for the project was doubled, she still bought another house about three months later for a complete renovation.

credit: http://onyxxteriorsproducts.blogspot...funnies-i.html
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Old 01-14-2017, 08:13 PM   #17
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Thanks heavy_d
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Old 01-14-2017, 08:43 PM   #18
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Re: Crazy, Funny Stories


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You should totally paste it here for us to read so we dont have to go to your website!

Sent from my SM-T350 using Tapatalk
Some are just after clicks for their websites.

Sent from a paper cup using quantum string theory.
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Old 01-14-2017, 08:48 PM   #19
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Some are just after clicks for their websites.

Sent from a paper cup using quantum string theory.
Actually, I am just learning this web stuff. I thought I would share a funny story. That is not my website. It's a Google Blog. I don't get credit for that. And my website is not posted in the article.
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Old 01-14-2017, 08:53 PM   #20
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Originally Posted by onyxxteriors5 View Post
Actually, I am just learning this web stuff. I thought I would share a funny story. That is not my website. It's a Google Blog. I don't get credit for that. And my website is not posted in the article.
So, you signed up and created a username the same as a random website. Then you toss up a link (in your first post, dragging a 7-year-old thread up from the grave!) to said website. Then say it's not your website.


I'm calling shenanigans on this one.

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