Construction/contractor Lingo W/ Translation

Buck25

Ok, what are the common phrases out there, along with their translations.

Here's a few

"Yes, ma'am, we offer a full line of handyman services. Let me check the schedule, and I'll see when I can fit you in."
Translation: "Holy Crap! Work! I'll do it yesterday!"

"I don't think this is a good match" or "No, I'm sorry, I just can't lower my price"
Translation: "Screw you, you cheap SOB! Stop wasting my time and go to the Home Depot parking lot and hire someone!"

"That there [piece of craftsmanship] is dead nuts!"
Translation: That there [piece of craftsmanship] is dead nuts!"

joasis

I had a guy ask me how much less it will cost to build an ICF home now that we are "hungry"......

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dubz

ugh

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http://brianwilsonconstruction.net

BattleRidge

tell him twice as much to cover last months bills too.

JumboJack

"We are getting three bids"......and will take the lowest one FO SHO.

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in texas with framing and cornish people will do it for 3.00 a foot. What do yall think about that? Just laber

Magnettica

Ma'am, I'm pretty good at snaking.

Buck25

Magnettica, is that SLASH!!!

Magnettica

Why, does it look somebody else with a top hat and Les Paul Sunburst?

Of course it's Slash. :d

Deadhead Derek

''Two weeks......translated-....anything but

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www.darkstarltd.net
Hand-crafted Traditional Masonic Furniture
and Coffins

HWCostruction

"Well, I'm going to have to redo this because it wasn't done right to begin with."

Translation: "Who the hell was the dumbf**k that did this stupid crap!?

loneframer

GC to sub, "don't you think it would be better if........."
Translation...."that looks like dogs#!$, fix it before you hand me a bill"

Five Star

customer: what kind of warranty you offer @ this price?

me: license plate

as soon as you see my license plate disappear your warranty is over

customer:

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wallmaxx

I had a guy referred to me to draw up his hand sketched plans for permitting.

During our sit-down meeting, he commented how this was a great time for him to get some "REAL DEALS" on sub prices, since everyone was cutting each others prices...he was going to save a bundle.

He was a bit too arrogant for me...so I bid it at full price plus, 50 cents per foot for the principle of the thing.

He has yet to call me back. Good thing too....I'm too busy to deal with "Yugo" customers. There ARE Cadillac customers out there....really...they exist.

Mike

greg24k

Sounds familiar, used it quiet a few times!!!

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threaderman

Customer-I have a small leak under the house,it's only bein leaking a short time and I THINK there's plenty of room under the house

Reality- if you can find a large enough access to get under the house at all,put on your scuba gear and take some bug killer,it's not going to be pretty.

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Joe ---International Code Council Member

Your plumbing & gas specialist proudly serving Oklahoma City OK, Moore, Warr-acres, Norman, Midwest City, Edmond, Bethany, Forest Park

Chris Johnson

And I haven't changed my price. It costs what it costs.

I have almost given up trying to save these people from the disaster that awaits them.

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Chris

carolinahandyma

Homeowner: I have a small repair, shouldn't take more than an hour = half day job with two workers!

buildpinnacle

Customer: Do you want me to write you a check today
Contractor: Ma'am it's our company policy not to bill the first draw until we actually have materials or men on the project doing the work. I want you to know I'm not going to run off with your money.

Translation: Please think I'm honest and write me a check, please think I'm honest and write me a check, please think I'm honest and write me a check

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buildpinnacle

Superintendent to Owner: (usually over the phone) It's not that big of deal, we'll fix it.

Translation: You just lost a ton of money and time

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AtlRemodeling

For a short, short time I had a helper. First day on the job he is calling measurements off while I am cutting:

Helper: Next piece 5' 1/2" plus.
Me: What the hell did you just say?
Helper: plus means the small line after the 1/2" line.
Me: Get off my job.

translation: no clue how to read a tape.