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Caught With Your Foot In Your Mouth

 
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Old 11-12-2010, 06:36 PM   #1
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Caught With Your Foot In Your Mouth


I thought it might be a fun thread to share some stories about getting caught with your foot in your mouth, or conversations you've overheard.......

I was sitting around the job after work today talking about the job with the guy I'm working with......we're doing a basement remodel and I said "we need to be careful about what we talk about since we can't see who's coming or going."

I've been working side-by-side with this guy for ten+ years, ten hrs a day, so our conversations can go anywhere.....we bust on people, wives, GFs, co-workers, PM, designer etc....

policy is to give a heads up when there's a VIP on site......we've been lucky, well, as far as I know......
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Old 11-12-2010, 06:39 PM   #2
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Re: Caught With Your Foot In Your Mouth


one time...i asked a pregnant homeowner when she was due

she told me she wasn't pregnant

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Old 11-12-2010, 06:49 PM   #3
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Re: Caught With Your Foot In Your Mouth


I usually end up with something else somewhere else.
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Old 11-12-2010, 06:52 PM   #4
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Re: Caught With Your Foot In Your Mouth


Quote:
Originally Posted by tomstruble View Post
one time...i asked a pregnant homeowner when she was due

she told me she wasn't pregnant
And then you said.................

A good response might be "well don't I feel like a horses' ***"
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Old 11-12-2010, 06:55 PM   #5
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Re: Caught With Your Foot In Your Mouth


Years ago, we had a lumber salesman who was quite large. When he wasn't around, we referred to him as "Tiny". About two weeks after hiring a new kid, I was working on the roof and the salesman comes by. Right in front of him, the new kid hollers out "Warren! Tiny's here!" I felt really bad about that.
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Old 11-12-2010, 06:56 PM   #6
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Re: Caught With Your Foot In Your Mouth


Quote:
Originally Posted by tomstruble View Post
one time...i asked a pregnant homeowner when she was due

she told me she wasn't pregnant
That happened to my ex..........I was laughing my a$$ off inside, and trying to keep a straight face
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Old 11-12-2010, 06:57 PM   #7
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Re: Caught With Your Foot In Your Mouth


This has been posted previously, but I love this story.

About 20 years ago, I was working for a guy, repairing a fire damaged building.

He hired some guys to torch down a flat roof, which subsequently caught the house on fire again.

Anyway, we ended up replacing the siding on the second floor of an up/down duplex.

As the job was winding down, myself and another carp were finishing up a wall with common stairs that split at a mid level landing to access the front and rear decks on the second floor.

The boss shows up in the afternoon and tells us that he spoke to the HOs wife earlier in the day and in his words, "She said you guys are doing a great job. She was so excited, I though she was going to have an orgasm."

A few seconds pass, then from the kitchen window, about 3' above our heads, "I didn't like it that much Bob."
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Old 11-12-2010, 07:07 PM   #8
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Re: Caught With Your Foot In Your Mouth


As most know, I had a fall about 7 weeks ago and broke my wrist. So I arrive at the hospital via ambulance, and of course they don't know all that is wrong with the person coming in.

So - a woman minister comes in to see me, and at the time I'm full of some pretty good drugs, and the first thing I say to her is " I ain't dead yet".

She says, "yes I can see you are still full of spunk, is there anyone you would like me to call"

Later I realized it was standard proceedure.
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Old 11-12-2010, 07:16 PM   #9
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Re: Caught With Your Foot In Your Mouth


I listened to a 1/2 hour conversation a couple of our painters had about how overrated graduating from HS is
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Old 11-12-2010, 07:37 PM   #10
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Re: Caught With Your Foot In Your Mouth


Me and my wife were in sams club the other day and she was pregnant (not now, we had our 2nd daughter on Saturday) actually it was the day before we had her. Anyways the checker says "Oh when are you due?" and I quickly responded with "April" the lady was so confused, the look on her face was priceless. My wife laughed but then corrected it quickly and the lady was quite relieved.
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Old 11-12-2010, 09:40 PM   #11
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Re: Caught With Your Foot In Your Mouth


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(not now, we had our 2nd daughter on Saturday)
congratulations, man - that's great!

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Old 11-12-2010, 09:51 PM   #12
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Re: Caught With Your Foot In Your Mouth


Yeah. I've done it and live with my foot in my mouth. My worst was toooo bad to be posting though. It was bad.

I like to think of one Boss did. We wer hanging a gutter, and as we lined it up Butch realized he had measured it wrong. Hey Boss, this is an inch long. Boss goes into a rage and starts screaming" What the ***X is the ***xing lady gonna thing if she see that ***Xing s***!!! What if she ***Xing finds out about this!!!!!! He wouldn't even listen tous saying we cutting and adjusting. He was standing beside an open window where the lady and 4-5 others were having their teaparty less than 6' away.
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Old 11-12-2010, 09:54 PM   #13
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Re: Caught With Your Foot In Your Mouth


A helper of mine and I were discussing how smokin hot the wife was on the job that day. We thought she had left, but apparently she came back in without us knowing it. She poked her head around the corner, and with a smirk says "Yep they're real" :

She was totally cool about it and even gave us a pretty good tip

Good topic.
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Old 11-12-2010, 10:01 PM   #14
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Re: Caught With Your Foot In Your Mouth


Quote:
Originally Posted by PrecisionFloors View Post
A helper of mine and I were discussing how smokin hot the wife was on the job that day. We thought she had left, but apparently she came back in without us knowing it. She poked her head around the corner, and with a smirk says "Yep they're real" :

She was totally cool about it and even gave us a pretty good tip

Good topic.
just the tip?!
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Old 11-12-2010, 10:10 PM   #15
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Re: Caught With Your Foot In Your Mouth


When I was younger, I was explaining to a woman customer that we seal the marble with an impregnator.

The look on her face was priceless.

Nowadays I call it Penetrating Sealer.
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Old 11-13-2010, 01:38 AM   #16
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Re: Caught With Your Foot In Your Mouth


Long time customer called me over for a "honey do" list of basic fix-its. One of the things was a wobbly door handle on the shower. She points at it and asks if I can fix it. I say I don't know, let me have a look. I step into the shower, close the door, pull out my pocket knife and start working on it. About 5 seconds in, I open the shower door, peer out and say "Diane, you've got a screw loose!" It took her a couple seconds to understand I was talking about the loose door handle, and the look on her face was priceless.

Not long afterward I was working at her son's house and related the story to him. His immediate response was "NNNNNOOOOOOOOO! You didn't!!!!!" Apparently, when other people give her a hard time, she doesn't take kindly to it. When I did it, it made her think for a second, to realize it was a joke, but she got the biggest grin and chuckle from it.
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Old 11-13-2010, 01:47 AM   #17
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Re: Caught With Your Foot In Your Mouth


When looking at some previously done work:

"Man, whoever did this really did a bad job."

HO "Oh, it was me."
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Old 11-13-2010, 04:41 AM   #18
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Re: Caught With Your Foot In Your Mouth


My most recent one was making a comment about "your wife" to the H/O.

His reply...... "thats my mom". Oh yeah I felt about 2'' tall.
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Old 11-13-2010, 04:45 AM   #19
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Re: Caught With Your Foot In Your Mouth


Another time myself and my worker were eating lunch with a sales guy. He was buying.


And as guys do the subject turned to the very attractiveness of the waitress. The sales guy makes a filthy comment thinking that she was way out of ear shot.

About 5 seconds later she comes back and asks the sales guy if he wanted a glass of milk.

Of course me and my worker just about died from holding in the laughter until she walked away. When ever I saw him after that I'd ask him if he'd been drinking milk at the Hitch lately (now burned down).

For some reason he never saw the humor in it that we did.
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Old 11-13-2010, 05:51 AM   #20
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Re: Caught With Your Foot In Your Mouth


Quote:
Originally Posted by shanekw1 View Post
When looking at some previously done work:

"Man, whoever did this really did a bad job."

HO "Oh, it was me."

I've done that

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